the story of morton part 1 - Writers Forum

cooldudemanus · 05-06-2005, 04:34 PM

this is my first short story on the forums

BE REALLY CRUEL AND HARSH!

im really bad at writing! math and science are more my strong subjects so be really really mean and jerky lol! I wanna become a good writer so if your not honest I won't become one! Be sure to mention where there should be dialoge in this story cause i can't seem to figure out where!

Morton part 1
by Joel Lieber

Have you ever thought that if you were the richest smartest and best looking person on earth that you would never want anything and never be depressed? You might even think that these are the only things in life that matter. Well in a small town on a little island not too far from the United states is the small high school known as Patrick Henery where Morton the teen who has all these things lives.
Morton was an incredible teen. He was a nice good looking teen who was really smart! He was in the top of every single AP class and even that was not challenging enough for him. So you would think that being really smart and good looking would make him happy right? Well your wrong!
Because morton excelled in practically everything everyone was
jealos of him. No one wanted to be friends with him and the chicks wouldn't date him despite his good looks because they were too afraid he would dump them or get bored with them. So each day Morton went to school in Misery.
When Morton got home from school he would have to deal with his parents. You see his dad owned a huge company so he never had time to spend with Morton and his mom was always spending the millions his dad made so she never had time to spend with morton either. When both his mom and dad did finally DID see Morton at dinner they told him he was a loser and would never amount to anything.

K THATS THE END OF PART 1 WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK?

gohn67 · 05-06-2005, 08:00 PM

Mia pretty much said what I would have said, I agree with her.

When I'm writing I sort of think in scenes, like a movie. Try thinking of scene and writing it out. Through their actions, dialogue, and what happens in this scene, try to show those thing you told the reader in this piece.

Example, like you say he is smart, right? and people make fun of him.

You can have a scene where the students are making fun of him becuase he got an A on his test or whatever. This is also a good time to implement dialogue.

Think like a movie scene.