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Unconditional-side2
The idea behind this story was to show one event through two different perspectives, so there are two parts to this story but they are independent of each other. Let me know what you think.
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“I love you too. Bye.”
The phone fell on the table and I met my empty apartment. It’s not that I want death, it’s just life I can’t stand. I really do love him, with every vessel of my body. When I see him I know he loves me, I can almost feel it radiating from him. Them the day turns to night and the shadows of my mind creep out of the closets. I can almost feel myself sink into the floor. The walls close in and the sky gets dark. I feel like I’m falling; it’s not a hallucination. In these shadows no one can save me no matter how hard they try. With my eyes open or closed I see nothing.
Sometimes people tell me that my eyes seem empty and I have a hard time proving otherwise. There are too many things in this world that hurt; it’s hard to see anything else. I look in the mirror and everything seems to vacant; grey hair, grey skin, grey eyes holding tears.
Then, it’s almost as if my mind and body separate and I’m not connected to either. I felt myself kind of drift into a trance, like a ghost floating through hallow walls.
I walked into the bathroom and cracked open the medicine cabinet. I want to sleep; I’ll be fine if I got to sleep. I swallowed some of the pills left on the shelf and tured on the bath water. I heard it running behind me as I turned on the kitchen. I stood there for awhile kind of in a daze; I’m not even sure I knew what I was doing. I picked up a carving knife and wandered through the halls.
The rest was kind of a dream, or maybe a nightmare. I saw red melt into water as my eyelids slowly pulled me under.
The next thing I remember is waking up to a beeping heart monitor in the hospital bed. I opened my eyes and saw his face; all the sudden everything I had done came flooding back.
He just sat there; his big brown eyes staring up at me with all the love in the world. I couldn’t stop the tears from pouring down my face. I let him down. All he did was love me and I hurt him, I could see it in his eyes. I asked him how he could love someone like me. But all he did was kiss my hand and then said something I’ll never forget.
“I love you for everything you are. There’s nothing life or death can do to change that.”
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we accept the love we think we deserve.
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