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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 04-17-2005, 02:27 PM   #1
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Maria Connie
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Amazing!!

Amazing!

Spain is the mother land for those born in Spanish speaking countries the culture is similar to the birth land and also the language. So I always wanted to visit the land of Cervantes with its famous Don Quixote De La Mancha, and Calderon de La Barca, with its famous “Life is a dream and dreams are just dreams” wanted so much to see the house of Goya the painter and the Toledo Cathedral the Palace of Segovia, The Palace of La Zarzuelas, the Museum del Prado, El Palace De Oriente, the Cross made by the Greco in the valley of the fallen in Valladolid and so many others historical sites in that old European country that always fascinated my imagination and desire of visit it.

I went in the summer time, I arrived at the airport of Barajas in Madrid and my second cousins were waiting for me, it was such a happy time and they were so
Very gracious and kind with me that I will never forget them.
I rest that day in their apartment five blocks from La Plaza de Venta where the Matador risks his life every time he faces the bull and lives for the OLE! Of the
Fans in any ways talking to the family until morning
Surprise me in my second day in the Spaniards country.
My cousins want me to go with them to the downtown Madrid, where department stores and luxurious hotels have nothing to envy to the rest of the world, they took me to see the Cathedral of San Isidro and Santa Isabella where I did have an experience that won’t forget, as I never saw before a saint’s body expose to the public, there, in their glass coffins, while in the cathedral I was admiring all the gold inlay in walls
my cousin approach me whispering, that she will go across the street to get something to drink, as it was very hot I said of course go and bring me some bottle water, she look at me and smile as later I learn water was no too common to drink there, mainly they drank wine and fresh fruit juices.
I stood there contemplating the wonderful work of arts in Spain Churches, an hour went by and my cousin didn’t came back, so I went out of the church
And walk around to see if I could see her but I didn’t, when all of the sudden, I felt an urge to walk towards a south direction in old Madrid where the streets
Are narrow and the apartment’s balconies are small with flower hanging on the black iron balconies
Very picturesque and typical of Old Madrid scene.

While walking the narrow streets , I felt elevated I was walking over a cloud and new exactly where to go all the little stores full of souvenirs and cloth appear in front of me I went thru them as I was possess, people passing by me were saying Hola! As if they knew me and I wasn’t answering to no one, I just knew that I had to reach a place I knew from before, I went on walking for 20 blocks, suddenly I stop in front of this leather coat store , standing out of the store was this gentleman, the owner and he greet me, I look at him and look up to the flowery balcony in top of his store, seem me in a state of awe, he asked me if I felt all right I said yes thanks, immediately I asked him who lives in that apartment at the top, he look at me strangely and he said a very old lady, then I ask him if I could see the apartment, I needed to see the insides I new it was mine that I did live there and was coming back home,

He said, I don’t know lady, you can ring the bell but that old lady don’t open the door to no one, without looking at him I proceed to ring the bell, much was to the man surprise when he saw the door opened by the old lady.
She took a glance at me and embraced me, she was about 5 feet tall about 92 yrs old white silky hair and very white skin, with big green eyes, she embraced me and I cried.
Tears flew like rivers from my eyes and then she said Maria you have come back home and I said yes my name is Maria but I am from United States I was not born here.
She cries for 10 min with no answer and then she invites me to come into the apartment and sit in her small living room, I gladly sat and she brought me some fresh water that I drank as it was hot and with the cry I was thirsty.

Magdalena was her name, I asked her to tell me why I felt the impulse to go there and to find this house, why am I here in front of you Magdalena?, why did you call me Maria? Yes that is my name but I don’t know you, please do explain, I felt my head pounding too many questions and very little explanation, Magdalena sat down looking at me for a long time holding my hand, then she spoke and said, I know now you are not my Maria but you are, then again I said please explain I don’t understand, please explain again, she try and said, I am going to tell you my story and then you will know the answers.
Magdalena start telling her story and I was attentively listen to her, she told me that they came in to Madrid from the North of Spain her parents and two daughters settling in Madrid, her father bought that apartment, and use to own the store downstairs, her sister was 10 yrs older than her and she was only 6 yrs old, her sister, name was Maria and she always sat in the balcony , one day she saw her talking to a man that was standing in the street, their mom talk to her older sister, prohibiting the relation with this man advising her they knew his intentions, he was going to take her away from home, but Maria didn’t listen and falling in love with the man follow his lusty desires, and one day she disappear from home and never saw her ever again, later they had news that the man had kill her sister in a quarrel at a bar.

Magdalena stated that she never married been afraid to have the same destiny of her sister, her parents had died a long time ago and she inherited the building...
Then looking at my eyes she stated that for three days she was dreaming, that her sister was coming back home and in her dreams she saw my physics, but she knew my soul was her sister Maria. And she thanks me that I had come to visit her. At this point I was feeling better but it was much to assimilate at once. So I promised her to come visit her before my return to USA, which I did bringing her flowers and sweets, Staying a short time with her , then said good bye, she was very thankful, been much more at ease, given her a kiss I left her with a feeling of completeness, and a peaceful harmony in mind.
I walk more than 40 blocks back home; I didn’t want to take a taxi I knew exactly where I was, knew each street until I rang my cousin door bell, when they saw me, they all were very surprise and worried about me, when I told them the story
They just had a word to say:

AMAZING!!!
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Old 04-17-2005, 05:54 PM   #2
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I liked that you set this story in Spain, its always interesting to read stories set in different countries.

If I were Maria, I would be scared if that happened to me.
It makes me wonder if Magdelena is just crazy or if she really believes that Maria's spirit is inside Maria.

I think the biggest problem with this story is the Grammar, it makes it very hard to read. I think if you go over your story and fix the grammar, this will be a lot better and more readable.

The other thing is your dialogue, uses no quotes and also it is in one big chunk. It makes it hard to follow. But I think you did tha on purpose though. Not sure it works like that though
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Old 04-17-2005, 08:04 PM   #3
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Maria Connie
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Thanks so much for your review and advice , Helps a lot
Grateful indeed
Love and Light
Maria Connie
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