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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 02-21-2005, 08:16 AM   #1
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Northern Ireland
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Burning
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Phantom Murder

Chapter 1

On a dark, miserable night, pouring down with heavy dropplets of rain, sat a family near a table with lit candles upon it. The boy sat cross-armed looking out the window, watching the raindrops run down the glass and wind blowing down the long pine trees outside the house. The house sat on top of a hill overlooking the village nearby. The father of the family had only arrived from a hard day at the office, just outside the village.

“Andrew, please help your mother set up the table for dinner, while I change my clothes.” Richard Parker, Andrews father said.
“OK Papa.” He replied.

Richard continued up the stairs to get changed from his work overalls. Meanwhile, Andrew was setting the table for dinner by setting the forks and knifes suitable for their meal. He completed it, double-checking to see if he had missed anything out but he didn’t. Richard came back down from changing his clothes with a very pale white face and I scared, surprised look on his face. He walked over to the table.

“Andrew, I thought I asked you to set the table to help your mother while she cooked the dinner?” Mr. Parker asked
“Papa, I did, just look over there!” He pointed over to the table to find all the knifes and the rest of the cutlery on the floor. He was godsmacked. “Papa, you moved it again, you only mess around like this, that really shocked me their until I realised you done it before.” He joked
“Andrew, I just had a very hard day at the office, I’m hungry and tired. Why would I move all the cutlery and especially put it onto the floor? Someone could have got seriously hurt.” Richard explained.

At this point, Martha, Richards wife and Andrews mother, appeared into the room with her hands full with the dinner. The beautiful smell drifted right past our faces and made us want to start eating like animals.

“Dinners ready, lets eat up! Oh, Andrew did I not hear your father say to set the forks and knifes for dinner?”
“I did, I double-checked to see if I missed any and to see that all of them were set safely and securely onto the table without it easily being blow off by a draught or something.” He explained. “I turned around and heard a crash and I looked around and I seen you coming down the spiral chaircase so I thought it was you that made the noise and I didn’t happen to see anything falling or anything on the floor.”
“That’s the fourth time then, this week!” Martha said. “It happened to me, three times during the week, things disappearing and others displaced.”
“What is it? I think she have to call the police!” Richard stated.
“No, we will leave it this time and see what happens next!” She explained
“That’s okay.” Richard agreed.

The family turned to pick al the forks and knifes off the ground to find that a knife was missing. All the cutlery was in place except for the top sit’s cutlery at the far-end of the table.

“I don’t think this person wants us here, mum, dad….” Andrew said gripping onto his sweatshirt.
He pointed around to the family picture. The knife was stuck in it.
“That’s nonsense!” Martha walked over to the picture and took the knife, which was firmly locked into the hard wooden frame, out of it. It left the picture with a big hole. It was rubbish, they could no-longer use the frame or the picture for anything.

“That’s going to the bin!” Richard shouted and took the wooden frame from Martha and proceeded with it out into the long, eerie backyard and hurried towards the bin. The bin had fell over due to the wind and most of it had spilled and escaped from the bin, leaving the garden in an even more deserted and depressing place.

“I’ll leave it here…” He wondered.

He set the picture with the wooden frame attached to it onto the ground and placed a strong heavy block of stone onto it. It kept it firmly locked into place. No storm could move that!

He hurried back inside, giving himself a quick shake off, dusting off some rain droplets that had appeared on his jacket. He came towards Martha and Andrew who were in the middle of eating their dinner.

“That picture wont be moving again!” Andrews dad said.
“Did you put it in the bin?” Martha asked
“No, it got stumbled over due to the storm and it was too heavy to lift back up back up again so I left the picture and the frame together and placed a strong block of stone onto of it locking it into position.” Richard explained.

Richard sat down onto the chair and began to eat his dinner, when there was a sudden crash at the front door.

“What was that!?” Andrew asked.
“I’ll go and check, stay here!” Richard ran to the door to see what the noise was. He opened the door to find a freezing gust of wind greet him, making him shiver, and found a strong heavy block of stone lying at the doorstep. It had cracked the door, had enough to totally crack it, but enough to chip it. He moved the stone out of the way of the doorstep and continued back inside.

“Well….?” Martha asked.
“Just storms. It blew a big block of stone at the door, chipping it, nothing serious though…” Richard said.
“Well I think we should all get to bed.” Martha had cleared up all the plates and cutlery and placed it back into the orginal places. After everything was secrure and safe, they went upstairs and went to bed.
Andrew awoke to suddenly scream, not loud enough to wake anyone but enough to be heard.

"That large block of stone could have been the one that father put onto of the picture and maybe someone happened to the picture or something." He whsipered to himself.

"Andrew, calm down, your overreacting, it couldnt have been, no-one lives that close to us and no-one would bother to come near us." He whispered back to himself.

He lay back down into bed, pulling the bedclothes another him tightly, hiding his face with the top of them, still givig him room to breath. His face was buried in the pillow and his eyes his shut tightly. He got back up and lifted the baseball bat close to his bed and took it back in with him, so that he could protect himself incase anything did happen. He wrapped himself back up and secured himself from everything.

Minutes later, the light switched on, the floor started creaking, he could hear footsteps they were comnig into the room. Andrew was facing the floor with his back towards the noise.

"What was that?!" He whispered before he began shaking and shivering.
The movement was comnig towards his bed. He couldnt take it, he jumped out of bed and lifted the bat and swung it to the closest thing. He got it.

"Ahhhhh, what did you do that for, Andrew?" It was his father.

"Ohh dad, im reall i didnt know it was you. I heard footsteps the creaking everything i thoguht someone, like a burgluar was in our housse. I overeracted. I'm really sorry!" Andrew explained still shaking."

"Its ok," Richard said rubbing his head at the same time. " Your mother told me to come check on you as she heard noise and awoke me to come check. So i did. Im sorry if i scared you. We were worried incase you were having a nightmare or sometihng."

"Father, i should be the one whos apoligizing i hit you in the head with a baseball bat. And it wasnt soft either." Andrew said.

"Its ok, lets just get back to bed and we will talk more in the morning." Richard said pointing at Andrews bed.

"Papa, can i go downstairs, i cant sleep and im worried. Its 5:36am, please?" Andrew asked still quivering.

"OK, let me just get my clothes on and we will go down together and watch the tv or dvd or something."

Richard walked back into his room and assured Martha he was ok and that they were heading downatsirs to watch television or something. He got changed and reunited back with Andrew.

"Lets go!" RIchard said.

Both, Andrew and Richard walked down the stairs and opened the wooden door and walked into the room. Richard turned to shut the door to find their picture on the door held in with a fork.

Richard screamed.



-----------------------------------------------------------------

Tell me what you think. Good or bad.
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Old 02-21-2005, 10:57 AM   #2
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jetmanjake
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Re: Phantom Murder

I only read a few paragraphs, since your grammar and sentence structure issues distracted me quite a bit. Read over the story at least one more time for grammar, then one more time for sentence issues. You have a lot of run on sentences and awkward phrases, which makes this tiring to read. Read it out loud to yourself once or twice, that should help you see the problem areas.
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