kerpoe

Okay, i just randomly had a burst of creativity. So I jotted it all down in form of flash fiction. So just read it and tell me if you liked it or not. Don't go into great depth.

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An old man sits on a bench in a park. In perfect harmony the two are found resting in the park, a withered bench frittered away by the forces of nature, and a withered man whose mind like his bones have disintegrated in the forces of life, the elements of conflict and consciousness. Seems cliché, something probably seen before. But, what was it that inclined the old man to walk the distance to the park from his housing? How a man, old and weary can obtain resilience stronger than a boy’s, is something that’ll never be known. Maybe it is his will his wisdom, his preeminence and knowledge achieved from experiencing the long walk to the park many times. Maybe it is true he possesses an indomitable will, maybe it is not, or maybe he is oblivious to it all. No matter what the cause or how, he rises everyday from his rest, determined to walk to the park, at a steady pace on a steady stroll. But Why?
What is it that he sees in the lonesome park on these lonesome days? Is it the constant drone of the city buzzing about his ears? Is it the mooching pigeons that lie at his feet, begging for whatever food he carries in his pocket? Or possibly the cheerleaders, who after a long day of school come out to practice on the fields that comprise this park? Surely a grown man who has long since known his game can take interest in young women parading around dumbly. For him it doesn’t matter the cheerleader’s age or height, all he knows is that they are more attractive than the old woman whose hand he took in marriage long ago, who I made add is at this time in the day usually fast asleep at home. Most likely though it is the sheer nothingness of it all. It is the serenity, the silence, the utter silence and lack of substance in the park. Yes, that is it, it must be, what else could it be? It is the perfect setting for a man as so, a man who we had already established as old and dreary to sit and think, to merely rest on the backboard of the bench and ponder, to recollect the past. I suppose it is safe to say that for the man on the bench, that it is on that bench, he doesn’t know of his age. He doesn’t feel old and fagged. He doesn’t feel as if he is growing closer to death, but merely a bit further from youth. That must be it, yes I am sure. The man is who he wants to be on the bench, no one else. He is in heaven, he is in thought, thoughts of happiness he wishes he could feel forever. No wonder the man smiles and stares into the distance towards the end of his stay in the park. He is living the life he wants to live.

desired_destiny

How sweet! I really liked this story. It's very creative. Good job.

Best of luck.

~desired_destiny

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Words have no wings but they can fly a thousand miles.

kerpoe

thank you

mammamaia

i can't like it when it's not written in a form i can enjoy reading, kerpoe!... a solid block of type like that will bring on a migraine before i can slog half-way through it...

also, it's not really a 'story'... as a verbal 'snapshot' of sorts, it might have potential, although i think there are way too many questions for comfort... but i'm not going to be ABLE to 'enjoy' it till you write it as WELL as you can, and not just as QUICKLY... get it?

love and hugs, maia

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stigmatax

its cool

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Hasta La Victoria Siempre!

kerpoe

I can definately see where you're coming from....but it wasn't really in need of a story because it was just a "flash fiction" piece, but thank you anyway.

mammamaia

flash!

'fiction' usually involves some sort of 'story'...

from google's web definitions of 'fiction':

Imaginary, invented writings, such as novels and short stories.
www.isu.edu/library/research/glossary.htm

stories about imaginary people and events
http://www.beaumont-publishing.co.uk...k/glossary.htm

an invented story
http://www.longman.co.uk/tt_seceng/r...s/glosauth.htm

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"You must BE the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi

kerpoe

ok....you win

mammamaia

it's not a contest, honeybun... just want you to know what the heck you're really doing and how it can be done better, is all... hugs, m

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For 100% free writing help/mentoring:
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"You must BE the change you wish to see in the world." Gandhi