Gulf Whiskey

--Wrote this at works since I was bored. I am not aiming to insult woman or stereotype, but trying to prove a point for the honest man and the confused woman--

"Hello woman I dont know. May I have this seat?" The man sized man asks as he approaches the lonesome woman at the bar.

"Ummm...Sure..." The female replies oddly.

"I have an experiment if you would be so inclined to particated." Said the mystery man.

"..." The woman just stared in wonder and boredom. This woman being your average beaute--small body, large breasts, wondeful smile, blond hair.

"I will take you silence as intrigue" The man interjects as he takes a seat. This man being your not-so-average male--skinny, decent-at-best-looks, average haircut, clean-shaven.

"....uhhhh..." The woman still silent.

"I have a philosophy that woman are only attracted to men that will lie to them and at the end of the night, take advantage of them. The next day, they are gone. No calls, no nothing..."

"That is not true" The woman involves herself into the conversation, if only because she feels she is insulted.

"Alright. To let both sides be heard, speak" Replied the male.

"That is so untrue. Woman want men that are true, men that can listen." The woman starts to explain.

"I'll take a New Castle" The male says to the bartender across the room.

"....we want man that isn't all macho but has a sensitive-side. We want a male that we can talk to for hours.." The woman continues.

"Thanks..." The man says to the bartender as he hands him a five dollar bill and instructs the bartender to keep the change. The man goes back to listening to the female.

"...a man that--" The woman keep talking.

"How many times have you had sex?" The man interupts.

"What?" Asks the woman a bit shocked.

"How many?" Replies the male.

"That's none of your business" Says the female with a sneer.

"You know how many times I have had sex? You don't. So, I will tell. Three times" Speaks the man.

The woman gives of a small snicker that she was trying to hide.

"...and all three times, I felt somethign for the woman. And we stayed together for three years" The man says, ignoring the snicker.

"I only have sex with men I feel something for" The woman quickly replied.

"Yet you wont tell me how many times. I believe you" The man remarks sarcastically.

"That's not true.. It's just that--" The woman tries to counter.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter. So, whats your name?" Asks the man

"Margarette" Says the female with a smile.

"I'm Kirt" Answers the male introduction.

"You have a last name, Kirt" asks Margarette

"Sure do" Replies Kirt

"What is it?" Asks Margarette

"Why do you care?" Asks Kirt in a cruel tone.

"Because I am interested" Replies Margarette.

"So you can act nice and pretend to like me?" Kirt replies

"NO!" Margarette shoots back laughing

"Fine. It's Liskey. Kirt Liskey" Replied Kirt

"What do you do for a living, Kirt Liskey?" Ask Margarette

"Treat woman like shit" Replied Kirt with a grin

"What!?" Replied margarette with a shock

"You woman are like Penuins and Cottage Cheese. You don't even understand yourself." The man says standing up.

"Huh?....Wait, where are you going?" Margarette shouts.

"Home. You're not my type, sorry. I have treated you like shit all night, and you wanted to get to know me. Funny, if I would have been nice and asked about you, you would not have given me the time of day. But, on a good note; thanks for proving my theory true." The male states as he leaves the woman and the bar.

Pendulum

I liked the story, it was well written and interesting. But is this just a fictional peice or have you actually gone out and proved this experiment. It could probably be considered offensive to some. Also, I don't get the penguins and cottage cheese part. It seems to make little sense.

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Society Blows

NoWorries

What's not-so-average about being average?

I dunno about the story, the dialogue was forced, the desciptions pointless and the punch line predictable and uninteresting.

What happened to the beer, he just leave it?

For some reason I had this feeling that the whole thing was happening on a train...I dunno why though.

Anyways, I'd suggest starting over and not know the ending before you get there, then the piece won't be so forced , and also, avoid tired cliche's.

NightWing

lol, I liked it Gulf.
Don't get the penguins thing either, though.
The beer was used to illustrate the point that he wasn't listening to her explaing how women want men who listen.
The mans dialogue was quite formal, like, "I have an experiment if you would be so inclined to particated." and "Alright. To let both sides be heard, speak"
The last line is well used to show him being almost king-like, allowing her to speak.
It just put a grin on my face.

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The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.