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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 11-21-2004, 05:19 AM   #1
Doc
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Join Date: Nov 2004
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Doc
no title yet. but check it out

Hey all, i'm new to this forum.
I'm kinda a newb in writing so...
check it out

When everyone in town had learned that Olinda Midgar had been shot to death, it brought a great sense of fear to the town. The town had knowned that the Nazi Government had been mistreating the Jewish people, but to actually murder a woman in the street was unheard of. Olinda was a woman of extraordinary abilities and a friendly person with a great sense of humor. She often helped those who are less fortunate, even though at times she needed help herself. She was a slim looking, middle aged woman who often wore a gold chain around her neck. Although, she seems happy, kind, and loving on the surface, in reality she was very lonely, sad, and depressed at heart. Most people in the town often thought she ought to find a man to care for her. She was proposed to many times, but she was simply not interested and kindly refused their offers.
Olinda remained lonely and unhappy for a while; it was not until she met a Ludkhanna Wurst. Ludkhanna a devoted German mother of four, although sometimes she is an unfaithful wife.
Her husband, Captain Paul Wurst is often away on military missions, so he rarely saw his family. Since the Wurst family was very wealthy and there are maids to tend to the kids, much of her responsibilities are taken care.
She often like explores different parts of the city, especially the poor and run downed places.
Ludkhanna first met Olinda at the local night club. The sight of Olinda quickly grabbed Ludkhanna’s attention. Ludkhanna was particularly intrigued by Olinda’s appearance and took initiative to introduce her.
Although, the two had been together for less than five minutes, it had felt as though they had known each other for years. For the first time in Olinda’s life she was happy and felt that Ludkhanna had been the person she had been waiting for her whole life.
The two secretly met everyday at the local night club at 6:30. It was important for the two to hide their affaire since it is unusual for a Jewish and German woman to be seen together.
The two lovers tried to continue their lives as normal and at first it was manageable; however in time Olinda felt that they should get away from society’s discrimination against them.
Ludkhanna reluctantly agreed to Olinda’s proposal, even though she knew that she would be leaving her family behind.





The two met again at the same night club at the same time, but Ludkhanna noticed something different this time. She saw a Nazi army Officer that looked familiar and he was looking intently at her. She did not recognize the man, but she felt an anxiety that this man might be associated with her husband.
Ludkhanna was troubled by this man and told Olinda it would be best if they separated. Olinda agreed. Ludkhanna went home that night with an uneasy feeling.
When she arrived at her home, she realized that her husband was home. Which was quite unusual because he wasn’t supposed to return till next month? Paul was sitting on the couch quietly taking little sips of his scotch. He obsevered closely at his wife’s every move. Ludkhanna broke the awkward silence with a pleasant surprised greet to her husband. She asked her husband why he had returned so early. Although his response was unclear, he mentioned that he had more important things to do here.
The next day she arranged a meeting with Olinda at an alley, which was near Olinda’s home. They decided that in two days they would meet here and leave for Belgium.
Ludkhanna went home that night feeling uneasy and slightly ill.
When the day came, Ludkhanna packed all her belongings and left early in the morning to meet Olinda at the alley.
When she arrived in the town, she saw a large crowd circled near the alley. She pushed her way through the crowd, trying to reach the end. When she got a clear view of the scene, her eyes widened and she fell to her knees. She saw Olinda being dragged forcefully by two Nazi soldiers and noticed that her husband was there too.
Olinda was in tears with her two hands covering her face. The first soldier pulled out his hand gun from his holster and looked at Paul for instructions. Paul nodded and the soldier understood the command. He raised his gun at point blank range to the back of Olinda’s head and fired! The blood from Olinda’s head quickly slashed into the soldiers face and she quickly fell to the ground.
Ludkhanna burst into tears and stretched her arms out, reaching for Olinda. The crowd was in shock that a woman had been murder in cold blood.

thank you
hope you enjoy
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Old 11-21-2004, 01:33 PM   #2
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trippingpara
My two cents, for what its worth

Doc,
Not bad. I like the premise of a WWII-era German woman and a Jewish woman having an affair (aside from the obvious reasons!), its really not a common topic for writers. Being a WWII affectionado, I assume the "Nazi" officers and soldiers that you refer to are members of the SS troops that were assigned to watch over captured territories? There are several different units of the SS, with only certain units being used to watch over Jews, especially in the Warsaw district. I assume that this takes place in the early years of WWII since most Jews were sent away to concentration camps by mid to late war (1943-1945). Also, the German army uses different titles for their army officers and several of the SS ranks have different titles too. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Glossar...Military_Ranks is a good list to start with of German military ranks and various commands. http://www.carnwyffa.u-net.com/documents/SS_ranks.html is a good listing of SS ranks and their American equivilant. The more details you throw into your writing, the more authentic and realistic it becomes. Again, I like the premise and the end result is quite accurate. Good job mate.
Cheers
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