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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 09-17-2004, 12:37 AM   #1
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sognatore
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A Natural Affair

One day a beautiful young orphan girl was walking along the beach and came to a large, oak tree. She stopped in front of it, mesmerized. The only trees that grew on this beach were pine, never oak and she knew she has never seen this tree before. It was fully-grown though, as if it had been there for years. Right on the edge of the ocean, the tree stood, swaying with the moist wind. She found herself swaying with it in total peace while turning things over in her mind, trying to decipher the oak’s mystery.
As the hours raced by, she stood still, admiring the novelties’ branches, the rich green color of the leaves and the perfectly stationed bark which was woven intricately to make it stand so tall. The tree held a beauty by which she had never seen before and she stood stationary watching it with a plastered smile. She dared not touch it, however. She resisted the temptation for the thought entered her mind that it might disappear if it was bothered and that was the last thing she wanted.
Soon, the girl began to grow tired, but she did not want to leave the tree. She sat down to regain her energy, but found that this child of the Earth Mother so much more beautiful looking from the ground. She could now see the thickness of the branches, the smoothness of the body and the perfectly shaped leaves. She wanted to climb it so bad she could not sit still. All of her life, she saw movies and read stories about children climbing trees. She had always wanted to experience the feeling of being high above the world, safe upon the amiable form of nature. She ignored this temptation as well. Instead she proceeded in admiring its beauty from the ground.
Day turned to dusk and the tree still swayed happily. The girl wished the tree would be still, go to sleep and re-gather its’ beauty in the morning, for she had grown incredibly tired. The tree did not stifle its’ beautiful existence, however, and she remained awake for as long as her body held out.
The next morning the girl awoke against the trees smooth bark. How had she gotten there? She had been so careful to not lay a hand on it. She realized that the tree was no longer swaying, it was moving rapidly pouring its’ leaves onto her. She realized that is what awoke her. The tree had awakened her with its beauty and she surmised that it was anxious for her company again. She questioned the tree about how she had ended up against it, and the only thing that came to her was through her own mind. The tree had taken it’s large branched and used them to pull her into comfort. They cuddled all night she reasoned, for they were both lonely.
That whole day she watched the tree just as she had done the last. This was a love affair like no other. The tree loved the sight of her just as she loved the sight of the tree. For five straight days, the tree swayed with happiness at company and the girl watched with amazement. At night, they would snuggle up to each other. No one else mattered but those two. The love beamed through them and both had never been more content.
One day, storms came through on the shore. The girl attempted to will them away but they persisted. She stayed until she was soaked and about to be carried out. She left when the tree began to rage violently and its leaves cried tears of agony and pain. She could not take it any longer and had to retire to her home.
The storm lasted for two days. When the sun finally came out, the girl ran as fast as she could to greet her lover and continue their romance. However, when she arrived at the place where the tree had been, it was gone. She could not explain its’ disappearance any better than she could explain its’ arrival. She cried and cried down on the dry sand. How would she get over such a profound loss? Just as her hope was gone forever, just as she decided it had all been a cruel dream, she saw something within the sand. It was a leaf, a perfectly green, perfectly oval leaf.
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Old 09-17-2004, 01:27 AM   #2
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kzel
Wow - this was really good. Loved the development of the relationship between the girl and the tree.
One thing I noticed was you change from past to present tense occasionaly.
Quote:
Instead she proceeded in admiring its beauty from the ground.
Change to 'Instead she continued to admire...'

Quote:
She realized that is what awoke her
Change to 'she realized that was what had woken her'

If you go through and check for those things and fix, this would be a really great piece.

Look forward to seeing more of your work
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Old 09-17-2004, 01:35 AM   #3
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sognatore
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Thank you so much!
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