I am teh walrus!

Nuts


The squirrel chittered to itself, content with the acorns it had hoarded that day. It, being a squirrel, neither knew nor cared that it was incubating a viral disease–a pathogen that would both surprise and defeat all the scientist who encountered it, and take out ninety percent of the people on the planet in the process. It slept well at night, knowing it had the perfect squirrelish life. The tree it made it’s home was in a backyard full of Oak trees, so food was plentiful. There were no cats in the area, nor were there very many birds of prey that might devour it’s poor body.

All in all, he was a happy squirrel, and the children who lived in the house had taken to calling it Sandy (after something they had seen on TV), and knew it by sight since it was the only squirrel to take up residence in the field behind the home.

One day, in it’s quest for food, it had been caught inside of a bird feeder after it had gotten too curious and climbed in. It struggled for hours, and only because he knocked the feeder loose was he found and saved. The younger of the two children had found it, exhausted, in the mid afternoon. The child had of course let it go, but the squirrel, being a squirrel (as I have mentioned several times now) bit him in it’s flurry to escape his prison.

The boy had a week to live.

He ran, crying, into the house. His mother bandaged the wound, and in the process signed her own death warrant. That night his brother contracted the disease at dinner when a slab of meat was chucked across the table, hitting him square in the face and spreading the germs that had leaked through the cheap bandage.

The next morning, the youngest got up with a stomach ache, but was made to go to school anyway. Before the bell rang he greeted several of his chums, each with a death filled high-five. The teachers aid (infected by a spit wad from the back of the room) spread it to the office and bathroom while on an errand to the principal.

The principal infected the secretary as he cheated on his wife after school.

The adulteress secretary rode the bus home, catching twenty-two people in death’s icy grip. Nineteen of these people went home to their families and each member started their own cycle.

The older brother of the bitten boy skipped school that day. With that action he infected nearly half the town on his own as he road on his bike, tagging cars and walls with a ‘dirty’ bottle of spray paint. One of these tagged cars destroyed Europe when it’s owner flew to England on a business trip. Another one took the disease west, to the coast.

A third car drove thirty miles to the capitol (since it’s owner worked on the White House lawn). Three days later anarchy gripped the country.

Each person infected more, and each of those continued the trend. It was the thing to do, it seemed. The squirrel ate happily, indifferent to what it had started. In fact, it would outlast most of the world. It was immune to itself.

The scourge (which scientists had yet to discover) spread silently, and quickly. The first few deaths, mostly the very old and the very young, weren’t connected. But as more and more people had their own stomach acids eat through their body, it became clear something was up.

Quarantines and embargos were placed, but too late. Each continent had it’s own fair share. It spared the fish and animals. Several zoo’s were emptied by half crazed zoo keepers, and the carnivores that were released added their own small contribution to the death toll.

The mother watched her two sons pass on, then died herself a day later. The squirrel, wondering in a squirrely way why no one had come out to watch him in a few days, worked up his nerve and crawled into one of the windows. When the children didn’t move to pick him up, he approached them, chittering questioningly.

When they didn’t react to him crawling onto their arms, he nibbled at the older boys ear lobe and found meat was much more tasty then nuts. He gorged on his own handiwork for months, and died of old age (for a squirrel).

blademasterzzz

Hmm... interesting and rather unsual.

A bit unserious though... so many people dying, you'd think it could be a little more real.

I like the thing, though

I am teh walrus!

I didn't know how else to do it >.< It was the result of several minutes of boredom and a squirrel happened to pop into my head... so... yeah... I liked writing it though, lol.

How could I make it more serious?

blademasterzzz

you talk so lightly about so many people dying, it's not believable.

Which is fine if the piece isn't serious, though.

Verago

Lmao! I hope it was intended to be kind of funny, and if it wasn't, sorry. I was cracking up as I was reading it. May God have mercy on Europe...

So, the Squirrel That Ended Mankind. AWESOME!

I am teh walrus!

lol, awesome. It wasn't meant to be a very serious bit of boredom, but I dunno if I wrote it to be funny either :-P

But, always glad to get a chuckle.

Verago

Sorry if i offended you or anything...I just really liked the piece. : )