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Always
Always
Here we lay, close to one another, as it has always been and as it always will be. My passion is still hot, yet you show little interest now. Recently your awareness has waned. You seem distant at times – you don’t pay enough attention. It seems you’re drifting away, but deep down I know that’s not how it is. I know it’s just a phase.
It’s six years now since we met; four since we were wed. Seems much longer, don’t you think? Seems like an eternity. I believe in eternal happiness, you see, and in destiny. I believe that each and every one of us is drawn to another who they are ordained to spend infinity with. Surely you felt that too when we met? It seemed we connected immediately. We where and are at one with each other. Soul mates. A couple. A brace.
Inevitably there were those who wanted to steal you. They wanted to take you away from me – away from safety, and claim you for themselves. The women, oh, they where almost too irresistible. You gave into them. I saw them in our house – in our bedroom! And you where there too, returning their smiles, allowing them to comfort you. They were seductive and beautiful.
And above all they were cunning.
Even I nearly tripped up. I almost fell for their lies when they said in those innocent, sweet voices: ‘He needs us, Kathy. He needs us to help him through’. I let it continue for a while, but then they brought the men in, wearing long white coats and carrying strange alien tools – I realised what they where doing. I realised they where evil.
They injected you with drugs that mashed your brain. They infected your mind with their lies. And oh what lies! They became unbearable. They said such dreadful things to me. They threatened me too. Threatened me with your life. One man – he said he was a doctor but I knew different – told me that your days where numbered and I had to prepare myself as best I could. I threw him out of the house; physically, with all my strength. I barged him out of the door. I would not have such slander in my home. I would not have you subjected to anymore of their brainwashing.
Of course, they then spread rumours about me. I heard in the streets from neighbours’ whispers that I’d gone mad. That my husband was terminally ill and I was refusing him the right to treatment. You weren’t ill though. There was nothing wrong with you. We talked as we always had done. You told me all of your secrets and I shared mine with you. It’s only now that we don’t talk so much, but that’s OK. I can wait. I know this silent stage will pass.
The night before they got to you – before they took you away from me for what seemed like an age – you held my hand and told me you loved me. You told me to carry on if anything ever happened to you. You said I could be by myself or meet someone new – it didn’t matter. You just hoped that I’d be alright. Then you closed your eyes and slept soundly.
I left you alone for only a few moment. I went round to Sherry’s house next door – you know the woman with the poodle that you often scorned. I told her what you’d said to me, to prove that you weren’t ill. I said I wanted the gossip about me to stop – the game had gone on long enough. It was hurtful to me now. I would never risk the health of someone I loved so dearly. I would never prevent the necessary course of treatment, but I was one hundred percent sure there was nothing wrong.
I went home and cuddled up to you in our bed. You felt cold so I wrapped you up in a knitted blanket. I heard a commotion outside and Sherry’s voice penetrating the night, cut off every now and then by deafening sirens. Blue lights flashed visibly through the window pane and then came the banging on the door. ‘Let us in Mrs Roberts. Please. We’ve come to make sure your husband’s alright’.
I never let them in but they came anyway. They broke down the door and rushed up the stairs. I was weeping when they appeared in the bedroom doorway but still you slept. You slept through all the trauma and all the commotion. Please understand that I tried my best. I tried to keep you with me but they dragged us both away. They took me to a station full of blue uniformed men who wore hard hats and badges. I was questioned; dissected. Every inch of my life was stripped bare. I don’t know where they took you but wherever you went I didn’t see you again for a while and I missed you terribly.
A few days later they released me. I was led to a churchyard and told by a heavenly body that you where going to go and live underground. I didn’t like the idea at first but I reasoned that at least they couldn’t get to you if you went into hiding. No one would think of looking in such a concealed place. It was a clever plan. I wish I’d thought of it earlier.
And now, here I am, laid on the cold soil above your lair, waiting for the day you choose to emerge from hiding and battle the enemies. Take your time. I’m happy as long as I know you’re near. It would be nice if you spoke to me sometimes, told me you loved me like you used to. It will pass though, you’ve been through a lot. I can be strong until you choose to show affection again.
Of course, you should know that they’ve tried taking me away again – tried spreading the story of my madness to the world – I won’t let them get me. I’m keeping rooted and I’ll be here waiting for you, day and night, so that you know you’ve got my support. I’ll never leave you. We’ll be together forever you and me. For all time. Always.
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