The personalities of these two characters so far are strong and amusing. Their interaction is cool--I like how they both say terrible things to each other, but still seem to be friends. Kenny, for example, does not become fed up with Jason's complaints and leave him alone, and Jason is not so disgusted with Kenny's smoking that he abandons him. Instead, they both deal with each other in an oddly hostile friendship. The occasional lack of tags on your dialog makes the conversation seem very casual and easy, in spite of the harshness of the words, and this works well.
There are two technical problems that I see everywhere on this site. One is the change from past to present tense. If you begin a story in the past tense, ("Jason said,"), it is as if you are looking back to a time when this story once occured. Using this tense carries the implication that Yesterday/last week/three years ago Jason said something. If you begin a story this way, you need to be careful to keep your verbs constantly in the past tense. However, in the second line, "Kenny looks." This is the present tense, which makes it seem as if the story is happening instantly for the reader, and continues to happen as he reads. This is an acceptable tense, and you do stick to it for most of the rest of the story, but whether you choose present or past, you need to keep it constant. You could change the "Jason said" to "Jason says," and that would help. Or, you could change "Kenny looks" to "Kenny looked," and similarly put all other verbs in the past tense. Whatever you choose, you should keep it constant and be careful.
Another problem is with dialog punctuation. Again, don't stress--you are not alone in making this error. Basically, you should punctuate your dialog like this most of the time:
Quote:
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"I was just doing my duty as a human being, that's all," Jason says, pointing his finger . . .
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Note the comma in place of a period, and the capital letter afterwards. If the word after the quotation were not a name, the letter would not be capitalized. If the statement inside the quotations is a question mark or exclamation point, use that in place of a comma, but the rule remains the same other than that difference.
Overall, your dialog is pretty good. The words convey a lot of the characters' personalities, and always kept me interested and entertained. If you were a little more careful with your punctuation, and a little more creative about how you broke up the dialog and placed your tags, this could be a lot better.
I know this was a pretty technical critique, but I hope it was helpful.
By the way, that's a hilarious signature quote. Don't really get it, though. . . .
