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Scribe
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Virginia Beach, Virginia
Posts: 72
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The Cookie Jar
[an:afd22fcf75]These are two short plays (I can put these here, right?) I wrote about cookies. The first I wrote when I was bored and apparently people wrote it, so I wrote a sequel. Enjoy.[/an:afd22fcf75]
The Cookie Jar
(The scene is the inside of a cookie jar. Three cookies are standing and talking, the rest are fast asleep)
Cookie 1: So... what do you think is on the outside?
Cookie 2: Heaven... a perfect place.
Cookie 3: Perfection? How is that possible?
Cookie 1: Who knows?
Cookie 2: I always thought of it as a place ruled by a man that would give you anything you want.
Cookie 3: That's not perfection, though. I don't want to be ruled over.
Cookie 2: But people wouldn't have to go.
Cookie 1: Speaking of which, it's almost time for someone to go, isn't it?
Cookie 2: Yeah... it is.
Cookie 1: Who will go?
Cookie 3: How about me?
Cookie 2: But you're too young, you want to spend more time in our world, don't you?
Cookie 3: I do, but... I've always wanted to know...
Cookie 1: Know what?
Cookie 3: You know... what's...
Cookie 1: Outside of the walls?
Cookie 3: Yeah, outside of the walls...
Cookie 2: But it could be something bad! Something evil!
Cookie 3: But it could be heaven...
Cookie 1: Don't take the risk yet! It might not be worth it!
Cookie 2: I must know.
Cookie 1/2: No!
(Another cookie wakes up from the commotion and rolls over then flips to his feet)
(Cookie 4 yawns)
Cookie 4: Why all the commotion?
Cookie 1: He wants to be the next one to leave.
Cookie 4: But he's too young! He hasn't even married yet!
Cookie 3: But I want to know!
Cookie 2: Idiot.
(Cookie 3 raises a fist to cookie 1)
Cookie 3: Look, I'm going! And you can't stop me!
(Cookie 4, expecting a brawl, steps back.)
Cookie 4: Come on guys, don't fight...
Cookie 3: Shut up!
(Cookie 4 sighs)
Cookie 1: Why are you being so reckless? You don't have any idea what's on the other side of...
(The jar rumbles, and it brightens as the cap lifts and slides off)
Cookie 1: It's time...
Cookie 4: It is!
Cookie 3: COME TO ME, MY LORD!!
(Cookie 1 and Cookie 4 run back as a flesh-colored claw reaches into the jar, moves around and picks up Cookie 3)
Cookie 3: I'M FINALLY FREE!!!
(Cookie 1 and 4 watch in astonishment as Cookie 3 is lifted out of the jar and the lid is returned to the top, it becomes darker again)
Cookie 1: What do you think is happening?
Cookie 4: I don't know... I just don't know...
Cookie 2 (Mumbled, from outside): AHHH!! AHHH!! WHAT'S GOING ON?! WHAT IS THIS? WHAT'S HAPPENING?! AHH!! IT'S EATING ME!! I... I...
(Silence)
Cookie 1: He's gone...
Cookie 2: What do you think happened?
Cookie 4: I really don't want to think about it.
Cookie 2: Guys, I need to go. (walks off)
Cookie 1: Shouldn't we report this to the committee? So they know he's gone?
Cookie 4: No. I don't think we should make this public.
Cookie 1: Why not?
Cookie 4: It's just. I don't know.
(Fade to black)
THE END
The Cookie Jar 2: Cookie War
Scene One
(The scene is inside a large kitchen. Two groups of cookies are standing, facing each other. GROUP ONE, composed of three cookies, is standing on a raised platform behind a small wall of sandbags . GROUP TWO, composed of two cookies, are all carrying makeshift rifles loaded with raisins. In GROUP ONE, Cookie 1 and 2 are kneeling down behind the wall of sandbags, while Cookie 3, armed with a small pistol loaded with raisin crumbs, is prone a few feet back. In GROUP TWO, Cookie 4 and 5 are standing with their rifles loaded and pointed towards the wall)
Cookie 2 Argh… we’re trapped…
Cookie 3: You guys run, I’ll hold them off!
Cookie 1: Do you think you can…
Cookie 3: Just run! Now!
(Cookie 1 and 2 stumble offstage. GROUP TWO hears this and assumes they are no longer outnumbered, then whisper to each other.)
Cookie 3: Argh… die, you Randomists!
(Cookie 3 rolls up behind the sandbag and kneels, his head just poking over the wall. He raises his gun and points it towards Cookie 4 and fires twice. Two streams of blood spout out of Cookie 4’s arm and he grasps his arm while Cookie 5 begins firing at the sandbag. Cookie 3 tries rapidly to reload as Cookie 4 stumbles offstage. The sandbags collapse and Cookie 3 instantly jumps up and runs. Cookie 5 follows him and Cookie 3 trips. Cookie 5 catches up to Cookie 3 and stomps on his back before shooting him to pieces. The stage darkens as Cookie 1 walks forward.)
Scene Two
Cookie 1: The war had been going on for almost four months now. Seven months ago, a hand reached into our Supreme Jar and no one stepped forward to sacrifice themselves. The hand was surprised and grasped up nine cookies. The Supreme Jar responded to this by making a kitchen wide law called the Randomization Act. It reads, “Exactly five hours before a hand reaches into a jar, that jar shall hold a lottery to decide who will be sacrificed. This is mandatory and put in place so the hand will easily grasp a cookie and the Nine Cookie disaster should not happen again.”
(Cookie 1 walks offstage as the stage darkens. It brightens up again to show Cookie 1 and 2 sitting in a military camp.)
Cookie 2: Hey... I’ve got a question.
Cookie 1: What?
Cookie 2: Do you think that… um… you know, Jim wouldn’t have died had we thought to bring weapons?
Cookie 1: No… they had some good rifles. I think if Cookie 3 hadn’t had told us to go – even if we had brought some – all of us would have died instead of just him.
Cookie 2: I just… I feel kind of, well, guilty.
Cookie 1: Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault.
(Cookie 2 closes his eyes for a moment then stands up and walks out slowly. Cookie 1 picks up a weapon and loads it. He sits for another moment and a bell rings. Eight cookies sit around him and Cookie 2 sits down next to him again. Cookie 1 sighs and a sergeant paces out in front of the group. They all stand up and salute him, then return to their seats and await their mission briefing.)
Sergeant cookie: Okay, soldiers! At 2100 hours we will invade a town controlled by the Randomists. These soldiers are very heavily armed and our sources say they have at least three tanks and more then eighty men. In addition, there will be no civilian casualties. Is that clear?
All cookies: Yes, sir!
Sergeant cookie: In that case, get some rest and be prepared to depart at 2050 hours. We will travel to the location in a squad of tanks and invade the town on foot, bringing in the tanks as needed. There will be three tanks. Is that clear?
All cookies: Yes, sir!
(The stage fades to darkness)
Scene Three
(Cookie 1 walks out and resumes his monologue)
Cookie 1: The Randomization Act caused mass chaos throughout the kitchen. Many small groups were created and led small revolts against the government. Almost two hundred were killed during what is now called the “Prequel” to the war. After one month of constant small battles, a large rogue group calling themselves the Choicists was formed from about twenty smaller groups, and they declared total war upon the government. The government then formed it’s own military and thus, the war would begin.
(The stage fades to darkness, then is lit up again to show Sergeant, Cookie 1, 2, and 6. They are riding in a tank to the town. Cookie 6 is driving, Cookies 1 and 2 are sitting behind 6, and Sergeant is sitting in the back.)
Sergeant: When we come within half a mile of the town, Eric and Sam will dismount and Mike and I will stay in the tank.
(They all nod)
Sergeant: When you reach the town, do not begin until you are given the order to do so. If you are spotted, get out of there. Do not fight back. Is that clear?
Cookie 1 and 2: Yes, sir!
Cookie 6: Sir, we’ve come within one mile of the town. We should reach the half-mile point in two minutes.
Sergeant: Prepare yourselves, men, this is going to be a fight.
(Cookie 1 and 2 begin loading their rifles as the screen fades.)
(The screen brightens again, and Cookie 1 walks out)
Cookie 1: The Choicists claimed the area I was living in and, ironically, established a draft. Me and a few friends were given the call to duty and we were soon shipped off to war. Luckily we weren’t sent off to battle before we were ready and we were all given a healthy dose of training – two months’ worth. We didn’t like it, but it could have been worse.
(Cookie 1 walks offstage and the screen darkens. The screen is lit again to show Cookie 1, 2 and 6 standing outside of the tank, with Sergeant looking out from inside the tank)
Cookie 2: Well… this is it.
Cookie 6: Are we ready?
Cookie 1: Let’s go.
(They walk offstage.)
Scene Four
(Cookie 1, 2 and 6 are standing leftstage. A building sits rightstage. Cookie 1, 2 and 6 slowly approach the buildings, rifles in hand.)
Cookie 1 (whispering): Is anyone here?
Cookie 2: Don’t be fooled.
(Cookie 6 stops, 1 and 2 stop and turn to him)
Cookie 1: Why did you stop? Is something wrong?
Cookie 6: I heard something… a rustling of leaves…
Cookie 2: Probably just the wind.
Cookie 1: Yeah.
Cookie 6: I don’t know… you guys go ahead. I’ll cover you.
Cookie 1: You’re acting oddly… are you okay?
Cookie 6: I’m fine! I just… I swear I heard something.
Cookie 2: Weird.
(Cookie 1 and 2 walk into the building. A stream of gunshots is heard over two shrieks. Cookie 6 stares into the building, eyes wide, before blood erupts from his head and he falls to the ground, lifeless.)
THE END
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