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Scribe
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: osoyoos Bc, Canada
Posts: 55
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An untitled story. My best piece of work.
Many times in a man’s life, there lay two paths open to him. Neither is tempting, but one must be tread, despite all angst and foreboding; and no matter how large a dilemma ensues. That day was one of those times.
Behind him lay resentment, pain, and fear. Ahead of him was set finality and an ending to all that which lay behind him. The latter choice beckoned him, called upon him to give what little strength he had remaining, and travel it. His mind was a cloud of confusion, a land of rife and uncertainty.
Robert saw all this, witnessed it take root within his father’s eyes, but at the same time, was completely oblivious to it all. Robert’s mind, small and fragile as it was, could not comprehend what he was doing at the place he could only identify as “old”, nor understand what was going on within his father’s brain.
“This is it.” Robert’s father muttered; silently, almost so softly that Robert could not hear him speak the words.
He did hear them, though he did not know what to make of them. The building that stood in front of his father and himself held almost no importance to him, Robert had never seen it before. He did however understand the familiar sounds of the ocean beating on the shore, which he knew was directly behind the old and tall building. He also knew that the dark clouds high above blanketed the sky, depleting it of any light, and casting strange and dark shadows over the entire area. Robert’s curiosity soon got the best of him, and he asked the only question he could think of, “Whaz this place Da-dee?” Robert enquired tenderly, sucking his thumb lightly in the process.
His father didn’t reply, but instead looked down upon his son, and smiled. The much older man then took Robert’s small and pale hand in his own, and led the young boy to a pair of old, rotting doors at the front of the building.
Helping his father push the doors open, the pair stepped into the dark and damp front room of the old building. The inside was even darker than the outside had been, since there was absolutely no lighting. The roof stretched on into the sky, and since there was no light, Robert was easily astounded by the sheer enormity of the ceiling. His father quickly released his hand, and moved against the nearby wall, feeling it over with his open palm. “Yes, this is it.”
Robert wanted to ask his question again, but he found himself at a loss for words, wrapped up in whatever moment had enveloped his father. He instead watched as his father closed his eyes, and leaned his forehead against the wall, a moment of silence hanging in the air. He had little time to observe this awkward silence though, as before long, his father snapped his head up from the wall, turned to his son, grabbed the youngster’s hand yet again, and led him forward, into the darkness of the building.
“Woon’t we get lost?” Robert asked, a tint of fear in his voice.
“No.” His father replied, “I couldn’t get lost, not here.” The finality in his father’s voice told Robert he was telling a very definitive truth.
So father led son through the huge and empty main room, expertly navigating his way around the nooks and crannies that occasionally protruded themselves. Before long, Robert’s dad was running through the room, like a giddy young boy who was running to someone they dearly missed. Robert had trouble keeping up to his father, who desperately dragged his son behind him. In a short time, they came to a sudden stop, directly at the steps of a low staircase.
Robert was almost frightened at how strange his father was acting; a huge difference from the quiet, reserved and polite man who would never have willingly scared his son, not for the world. Another question popped into his head, and before Robert could restrain himself, he asked it, “How do you know this place so well, Da-dee?”
He didn’t look at his son, instead choosing to gaze upwards, into the darkness the staircase led to. “I… I lived here once.” Was the father’s dazed reply.
“Here?” Robert spat, crinkling his nose.
“Yes. Here. When there was hope.” He paused a second before continuing slowly, “Hope for places like this, and people… people like me.”
By the time of his father’s response, Robert was far beyond simply scared; he was petrified. Never had he seen his ‘Da-dee’ display such emotion, such un-rationality. Perhaps, Robert reasoned, it had something to do with why his dad had come home from work so early the days before, or maybe something to do with that letter he had received from his office the week before; even Robert’s mom had been upset about that.
“Where are we going Da-dee?” Robert asked, barely managing to keep his voice from wavering.
“Back.” His dad replied, and for an instant Robert thought he meant back home, but he soon realized his dad meant ‘Back’ to this place, and up those stairs. “Let’s go.” Robert’s father said deeply, and clutching Robert’s tiny body in his arms, he hoisted his son up into the air, and began walking up the stairs.
Robert clasped tightly onto his dad’s neck, frightened that he may be dropped at any second. “This place,” his dad said quietly, “this is the place where I grew up, where I learnt who I was.” Robert’s father now walked up the steps slowly, grudgingly, like he didn’t want to reach that which lay at the top of them.
“Dady, where are we going?” Robert asked, after he’d finally built up the courage to speak.
“A place where I can live again.” His father answered, satisfying Robert. But instead of stopping, he continued speaking, “A place without a goddamn mine, without layoffs…without responsibility.” Robert didn’t know what the words that his father used meant, but he knew by his tone what his father wanted to say.
A place to escape.
They continued up the stairs, a never-ending path of agonizing steps and torturous strides towards a goal Robert didn’t even know the name of. Suddenly though, Robert’s father spoke again, this time completely un-prompted.
“I never would’ve thought I’d come back here.” Robert regarded his father strangely, “But then again, this place did house most of the memories I’d ever want to remember.”
This place is my real home, Robert interpreted.
“Da-dee, what…what happened here?” Robert asked softly.
“I’ve always held this place dear to my heart though…so many memories.”
Everything happened here.
Robert’s father looked his son in the eyes, and spoke softly, “I hope you have a place like this in your life. A place where you can recall nothing but happiness and joy, a place that brings only fond memories back into your mind.”
I want you to be happy, no matter what.
“I just hope you can keep those memories though; not let them grow clouded by the road we call life. I think that’s where I went wrong; I forgot who I was, what I was doing on this planet.”
Never forget who you are.
Robert listened intently, memorizing his father’s words, and was almost saddened when he quit speaking for a short time. In that interval between expressions, the two walked up the stairs, Robert’s dad’s steps slowing with each second.
Finally, the older man spoke again, “I never thought I’d have to do this though. Never, in all my dreams, did I imagine it would come to this.”
“What do you mean Daddy?” Robert asked, his innocence bringing a stinging tear to the corner of his father’s eye.
“I’ve always loved you and your mom Robert. And no matter what happens tonight, no matter what happens after, I always will. I want, no, I need you to know that. Tell me you know that, please.”
“I know you luv me and mommy.” Robert sobbed out, a strange lump forming in his throat.
“Good, that’s good. I may not be able to support you two any more, but I do love you.”
They continued up the stairs, and Robert began to wonder if there was in-fact an ending to them at all. His heart raced with anticipation of what they would find at the top of them, for surely his father wouldn’t be acting all strange and bring him all this way for nothing.
“When you’re mom is crying Robert, when she’s crying, I need you to hold her for me. I need you to tell her it will be all right. I can’t do that anymore; I can’t help her through her pain any longer.” I’m counting on you.
“Why is mommy going to be crying?”
“I don’t know if you can do better than I did Robert, but I know that you’ll try. I’ve raised you well enough to know that you’ll fight your absolute hardest to do your best. I can’t expect any less from you.” I can only hope…you’ll live a better life than I have.
“Never hold yourself back Robert, and never forget who I was, or what I stood for.” I know you won’t forget me.
There was a light coming from a little ways up the stairs now. Robert looked up to it, and recognized it as moonlight, which was pouring through the clouds high above, and into a crack near the roof, which Robert acknowledged as a door. “We’re here.”
This is it.
Robert’s father walked the rest of the way up the stairs, and then pushed the door open. Robert was amazed to find himself on the roof of the building, which had seemed so large from the outside. He could once again hear the beating of the ocean’s waves on the shore, and realized that the building was in fact directly on the shoreline. I bet I could dive into the ocean from here, Robert thought, not knowing how true his thoughts were.
Robert’s father suddenly dropped Robert back onto the nearby steps, and kneeled down to face him. “I want you to run back down those stairs Robert, and wait by the front door for your mom to get here. She should be here any minute now. And please Robert, never forget anything I’ve told you here.”
I want you to run, because I love you.
Robert looked into his father’s eyes one final time, and for the first time, saw what actually lay beneath. His father was scared on the inside, Robert realized, scared of everything he had ever seen, scared of everyone…except Robert. Robert swiftly found himself scared of those very eyes, and all the fear they held within them.
“Ok Da-dee.”
Robert turned away from his father, who stood up and began to step out of the doorframe. Robert then ran, down the hard metal stairs of the building, and back to the front door. He traversed the stairway much faster on the down time, as his pace was much brisker than his father’s had been. Once he reached the bottom of the stairs though, he was practically lost. He was forced to navigate his way out by hearing the sound of the nighttime breeze filtering in through the front door. It took him a while, but eventually he made his way out.
Once he had found the front door, he sat on the sidewalk outside it, and awaited his mother’s arrival, just as his father had told him to do. He waited for perhaps five minutes, when, very strangely it turned out it wasn’t Robert’s mommy that arrived first. Of all the people, it was the police. A squad car came blaring down the street, stopping directly in front of Robert. Two tall men came out of the front two seats of the car, while Robert’s mom strangely popped out of the back seat. All three older people saw Robert at the same time, and three rushed towards him in unison.
Robert stood to speak to his mother, who he found looked very disorganized. Her hair was tattered and worn; her eyes were bloodshot and tatty, and her entire body reeked of tears. Robert noticed that she tightly clutched a piece of paper in her hand, with a bunch of scribbles written down on it; he also recognized the scribbles’ as his Dad’s writing. Robert’s mother instantly kneeled down to his eye level, and asked in a very distressed voice, “Where is he?” Robert returned a confused stare, “Where did John, where did dad go?”
Robert replied slowly, making sure he didn’t mess up, “He went upstairs, onto the roof. Then he told me to go down here and wait for you.”
Robert’s mother ripped her stare away from her son, and stared up to the roof, high above, “Oh my god! John, John what are you doing?” She screamed, scaring Robert thoroughly. She began to breath in very short, abrupt breaths, until she was almost hyperventilating. The two police officers rushed behind Robert and into the building. Robert’s mother tried to follow, but as she tried to rise up, her legs suddenly gave way underneath her.
She collapsed directly in front of Robert, and began to intensely cry almost instantly. “Mom!” Robert shrieked, and pounced forward to help his mom up.
She didn’t budge though, despite his best efforts. Instead all she did was scream out in pain, tears burning her eyes, and crumple the piece of paper before promptly dropping it in the gutter by the sidewalk.
At that specific time, the clouds that had ominously held over the skies before suddenly decided to release a shower of rain on Robert’s position. A few droplets fell at first; followed by another layer of them, before eventually sheets of rain beat down on both Robert and his mother. Robert soon found that his mother was inconsolable, and that he could not do what his father had asked, since that seemed to only cause more pain.
His small eyes wandered, leading him to the note, which had already been hit by a few droplets of rain. All he could see without moving it was a small passage near the bottom. He could not understand all the words, but he tried reading it none the less.
So I leave you Ruthanne, and Robert, with all my love, and all my life. I just hope you understand why I did what I did, and why I would do it a million times over. I’ve become a shame to you, and I don’t want Robert to grow up with that kind of shame, I can’t let him. So I hope he remembers my words tonight, and knows that I mean every single one of them.
I’ll always remember you, Robert thought to himself, placing a delicate hand on his mother’s steadily shaking shoulder, and I’ll always remember them, Da-dee.
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This is my favorite story I have written, and I just wanted to share it with anyone who reads it.
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Math is nothing more then the lesbian sister of biology
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