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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 10-30-2003, 02:03 PM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2003
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ripshark
short sf story, wanna know if its any good

Eias

Eias rammed the control throttle down, causing the class VIIO-Space Standard Fighter to slam into the Glitter Wing, sending it spinning crazily out of control and into the oblivion of the main transports thruster engines. Another Glitter Wing came to engage him; Eias wasted no time, blasting it in to a million pieces using the upper turret. Eias checked his ammo count. Zero. Great, and there was still three Glitter Wings left, and they were all on the other side of the main transport.
His shields were at seventy percent, that last few had been a buggerence, but there was no time to mope now. He engaged the main thrust spectrum, using the sublime control gear to spin beneath the main transport, narrowly missing the protruding hull that hung beneath the transport like some sort of grotesque belly. The first of the GW’s was directly in front of him now, and had just fired a missile from one of the gun turrets on the side of the transport. He discharged a disrupter directly in its path, then flipped his fighter upside down, using the primary lift to shoot him downwards, then casting a flip turn until he was facing the GW from beneath.
He sped up wards, cracking the steel reinforced cockpit of the enemy pilot, causing an intense shift of internal cabin pressures that made the fighter explode violently. Eias used the debris to disguise his fighter from the two remaining GW’s, calculating their positions and scanning a new tactical plan into his cerebral implant, all in a fraction of a second.
He, without any ammo, sped toward the two GW’s who had clustered together, and engaged the one-shot multicator prototype, making himself appear as two fighters both on radar and visually. Controlling the secondary illusion through a secondary gearshift above him, he maneuvered it in-between the two, then used the intervening space to manipulate Harlsons Law for holograms and utilized the inbuilt low circuit Hyper Drive to drag the two immobile fighters sideways into the Insadiration, the nothing ness between space, causing all the variations of the atoms in the GW’s to tear themselves apart and disperse to every single part of the universe.
Eias chuckled, then removed the command unit helmet, appearing back in blinking reality, two Belsat workers helping him to his feet. He staggered groggily for an instant, and then punched the air in jubilation, mouthing the word ‘yes’. “So Eias, how did you do?”
“I kicked their sorry asses all the way back to Liandri!”
“Really? Well I see you did well, but you wasted all your ammo in the first few minutes, how did you manage to defeat the last three?” Eias tucked the CU-helmet under his arm and walked through the open door.
“Ahh, wouldn’t you like to know Kimatri.” He left the other pilot shaking his head as he walked toward the briefing room.
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Old 11-12-2003, 02:17 PM   #2
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What you have here is an interesting read so far, but it sounds like it takes place in the middle of the story. I'd like to see some more background to start off with, so I know a little bit about what's going on. Why are they fighting? Who are Eias and the Liandri? Who's Eias talking to? Essentially, this could be quite a good story (every story has the potential to be a good story), but it needs a lot more meat to it. Good luck!
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