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Short Stories Short Stories, usually between 500 and 2000 words.

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Old 07-13-2003, 02:36 AM   #1
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Featherpen
Taken away

The man was confused as he looked around the room. The room was quite large, all the walls were white like fog. There were no doors, yet the man did not remember how he got in, or even why he would have wanted to go in. The man was about to panic... he started pounding the wall with his fists. The wall would not break, even though it appeared to be weak.

The voice of kindly sounding young guy innteruppted the mans tantrum.
"Sir, please stop hitting that wall, you need'nt do that. Please come and have a seat and lets disscuss something important."
The man sat down in a chair that, a few minutes ago had not been there.
The young man spoke again.
"Steven, you have been very matierialistic for the majority of your life.
You are always consumed with greed, and the thoughts of what you can have.You are never concerned with anyone else's welfare.
So, I have been sent to humble you."

Steven excitedly spoke up in a threatening voice.
"Show me your door. I need outta here, NOW!!!"

"you will not leave for awhile, not until I take everything you have."

"!!!..."

"I will begin now said the young man, and he stood up walked to Steven and stared into his eyes, unblinking.

"I will now take your home, you'll hate to lose it"
"It is taken"

A wall collapsed in the room, revealing a screen like device.
Steven's house was on the screen, He watched as the house was engulfed in flames.

"How did you do that? Restore it now or I'll kill you!!

"Your speaking shall be taken now"
"it is taken"

Steven was silented.The young man took a sigh, and then proceeded.

"Your family will now be taken" On the screen appeared all of stevens reletives:Wife, parents, etc.
They faded from Steven's sight, they were gone.
"It is taken"

The young man sat back down in his chair, and leaned back.

"Steven, I have taken your family, your speech, and your home. By the way, When the flames destroyed your house, they also consumed your cars, and your land.Just so you'd know."

"Now, your body, I will disable it."
"Done"

Steven fell to floor:He could not see, hear, feel, he was as good as a dead body.

"Steven, I am communicating with your thoughts now. All thats left is your mind. I should take it , now. "

"I need to tell you that I could send you back."
"You would have your family and your body would restored, but you would have no property or money"

Steven's thoughts:"I will accept!! Put me back! I care nothing for property!! I don't really own it!! I'll go!

"steven, I am happy you figured it out,...finally!
"However, I lied. I was instructed to teach you your errors, and make sure you became wiser, by that.
Fact is , if I sent you back, you relive the same life over again.

"I am unsure why I was instructed these things, but it is not for me to know"
"You will be ended in a minute"
"You don't understand why?"

"the world is better without your unchanging kind"

"You are taken...."




Steven was gone. And the young man had sucessfully completed his mission.The world is a little better now, but there is much work to be done.


THE END


Thank you for readind this. I suppose it was lengthy...
Please respond with honesty.
Thanks.
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Old 07-15-2003, 02:26 PM   #2
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amie
Feather,
I thought the tone of the story was very good because you held it throughout, and it was a very original presentation. You actually went on to reject the PEOPLE who are materialistic as a resolution to the materialism.

That's a very pessimistic and hopeless outlook...you should chat with Kujo.

- amie -
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Old 07-15-2003, 10:16 PM   #3
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Featherpen
Thank you.

Many of my thoughts are "pessimistic" so I write what I hope turn out to
be depressing stories.
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