robert edward levin

Wrote a letter to my oldest boy, Davey Jr., today. Second time this month. He didn’t answer my other letter, but since I wasn’t of a mind to call him, I figured I’d write him again. Probably won’t do me a lick of good, though. I’ve been writin’ him letters for the last ten years and only got one in return. And that one wasn’t very long at that. Couple of paragraphs to be exact. Now you’d think bein’ his father would warrant somethin’ more than a couple of measly ol’ paragraphs, but uh-uh, it didn’t.
I didn’t much care for what it said either. Bunch of silly nonsense ‘bout wantin’ to be left alone. Wantin’ to find his own way without havin’ to worry ‘bout me barkin’ at him all the time. Told me I’m always tryin’ to change his direction. Said he’s tired of hearin’ me squawk about the size of my shoes, or, that every time he starts doin’ good at somethin’ the size of my shoes grow.
It’s true, that boy’s got a long way to go before he ever catches up to me. Unfortunately, his biggest problem is gonna be stayin’ out of his own way. I mean, no matter what he does, there always seems to be a better way of doin’ things. Now I admit, when he was growin’ up there were times, more than a few, in fact, when I wasn’t quite sure how to approach a situation myself. So just to be on the safe side what I’d do is, I’d let him run with things long enough to make sure his course of action was indeed wrong before pointin’ it out. Naturally, I’d also point out what obviously turned out to be the correct way (my way), of handlin’ the situation.
It ain’t like I was tryin’ to hurt his feelings, or anything. I just figured it was more important that I be right than it was to spare him a hurtful moment or two. Let’s face it, how else am I gonna set an example for the boy if me, his father, can’t be right? The thing is, Davey Jr. never saw it quite the same way, so after awhile I gave up tryin’ to teach him. Instead, I just started directin’ him to, “Follow my lead, son! Follow my lead!” He never followed, though. Didn’t matter if I instructed him to do so in private, in front of his friends, brothers and sister, mother… anybody for that matter. Hell, he’d just stick his head inside a book, hide out in his room, or offer up an opinion that was a whole lot different than mine.
Can you imagine? A little snot-nosed kid who never had the gumption to get dirt under his fingernails havin’ the nerve to give me his opinion on what’s right, wrong, true, false, good, bad, big, small, black, white, or even red? I can’t imagine it, that’s for sure. More importantly, I never hesitated a single second before correctin’ him. I’d say, “Davey Jr., face facts. It ain’t that I’m smarter; you just don’t have my good sense, no matter how many books you stick your nose in. It ain’t that all my hard work proved me to be a better man, you’re just too busy lookin’ for yourself to prove much of anything.”
Funny thing about it, to this day I don’t know if Davey Jr. ever found himself. Like I said, he don’t write me anymore.

Wrote a letter to my second oldest boy, Stevie Ray, today. Stevie Ray, he’s a pretty good kid, even though I ain’t heard from him in almost six years. And even then he just dropped me a line to tell me he was livin’ in Iowa, not too far from his older brother. Of course listenin’ to Davey Jr. has always been one of Stevie Ray’s biggest problems. Especially since Davey was always tellin’ him to keep a safe distance from me – somethin’ ‘bout bein’ bad for the spirit, bad for the backbone. Said that tryin’ to please me was a never-endin’ and useless goal for anybody – that Stevie Ray should look to make his own mark on the world.
Now people, Davey Jr. included, can say whatever they want to about me, but one thing’s for sure, I’ve never done a goddamn thing to anybody’s spirit or backbone. Especially Stevie Ray. The fact is I always encouraged him to be more active in sports simply b’cuz he had all the trappings of a real man. Even when he wasn’t showin’ the proper interest I kept pushin’ him, knowin’ full well that it was for his own good, his own backbone, if you will. Lord knows he had the talent. Not near as much as I did when I was his age (which I made sure to point out whenever he seemed light on motivation), but he weren’t half-bad.
And then one day he came home and said he wasn’t playin’ ball anymore. Said I could call him a sissy all I wanted, it wouldn’t make a bit of difference. Evidently it didn’t b’cuz I called him Sissy Ray ‘stead of Stevie Ray in front of one and all for an entire year and all he’d do is stare at the floor.
All that aside, however, Stevie Ray’s biggest problem has always been his wife. He met her just after graduatin’ high school, which, coincidentally enough, just happened to be about the time I started to lose control of the boy. It’s not that givin’ up control was so bad (especially since I had a couple more kids at home), it’s just that whenever I tried givin’ him some advise or helpin’ him out in some capacity, my god, that wife of his would look at me and all but explode. “Haven’t you done enough to him already?” She’d ask, her voice rushin’ at me like the bullets from a shotgun. “Can’t you just leave him alone?”
I dunno, maybe if I was doin’ somethin’ bad to the boy I would’ve considered lettin’ him be. But I never did a thing. In fact, the only one to ever hurt him, aside from Davey Jr., of course, was his wife. And that was the moment she started chewin’ on his ear about movin’ out of town and goin’ to college, as if a college education, good as it is, will ever give him the intelligence that hard work has given me. No, I don’t see how movin’ away from me, the only positive influence that boy has ever had, is beneficial at all. I tell him so in every letter I write to him too.
But frankly, I don’t know what he thinks. Like I said, Stevie Ray don’t write me anymore.

Wrote a letter to my only daughter, Emily, today. Boy, talk about a good-looker. I even asked her in my latest letter if she’s still as pretty as she used to be. Of course, since she hasn’t dropped me a line in almost four years, and even then only to tell me to stay away from her and the kids, her continued good looks is just somethin’ I’ll have to assume.
Sure wish it were different. Sure wish she hadn’t run off with that husband of hers. Goes by the name of Tom Madison, or, pardon me, Dr. Thomas Madison. Either way he ain’t a very likable fella. I mean, the first few times I met him I tried to take him under my wing, just like all my boys, but he refused my efforts. I guess bein’ a doctor means he’s too good for me. Anyway, since life ain’t supposed to be lived in the shadow of somebody else’s ego, I decided to ignore him altogether. Not that I cared, mind you. In fact, I told Emily the only thing I cared about were her and her kids. That’s why for the life of me I can’t understand why she’d ask me to stay away.
But Emily, she’s always been a strange one. I mean, I never saw a person so hell-bent on pleasin’ somebody get so discouraged so quickly. But that’s how she was. One minute she’d be racin’ down the stairs to tell me about her report card – “Look daddy, look how good I did” – the next minute, after I’d get done explainin’ to her that she could’ve done better, she’d be mopin’ around like she just lost her little kitty. Hell, I even remember the time when she was nominated for Homecoming Queen in her high school class. She carried a smile from ear to ear. Yet, when the family was all gathered around the dinner table and I explained to her that bein’ nominated don’t mean a damn thing if ya don’t win (figurin’ I was teachin’ her one of life’s little lessons), that smile of hers turned into a bucket of tears.
Now if actions like that don’t smack of strange behavior, well then, I remember the time when she came home with news about getting her first teaching job. There she was with a big proud sparkle in her eyes, braggin’ and carryin’ on to anybody with a pair of ears, when I said, “Yeah, that’s nice honey, but until you get a job as a college professor, bein’ a teacher ain’t really that big a deal.” And suddenly, that big proud sparkle turned into a scowl and all that braggin' and whatnot turned into a weeklong hiss.
Of course, none of that stuff has anything to do with why she wants me to stay away from her kids. Unfortunately, she won’t give me her exact reasoning. Like I said, Emily, she don’t write me anymore.

Wrote a letter to my ex-wife, Lydia, today. It’s the first one this month. We got divorced right about the time our last child moved out of the house. Anyway, I was just writing her to see how she was getting along, if she needed any money… that sort of thing.
Lydia, you see, wouldn’t take a plug nickel from me in the divorce. Said she just wanted a fresh start. Said she planned to go back to work, be it as a secretary, sellin’ women’s clothes, didn’t really matter. But that ain’t the half of it. After I told her that being a secretary or sellin’ clothes were both measly jobs, she said she also planned to go back to school, community college to be exact. Didn’t know what kind of degree she wanted, hoped to figure it out somewhere along the way.
“Now what the hell could somebody like you possibly get out of college?” I asked her, in no uncertain terms. “You ain’t no student. Hell, about the only thing you’ve ever done in your life is cook, clean, and be a mother. But now, with all our kids gone, you won’t even have to do that. Why then would you pick a time like this to get a divorce? A time we could be spendin’ together without so much as a sneeze of an interruption between us?”
Lydia didn’t bother answering. She just shook her head, smiled, and walked out of the house.
The next time I saw my wife was in court. It also happened to be the last time that I saw her. In fact, if she hadn’t sent me a letter with her forwarding address I wouldn’t have known where to send the rest of her clothes. Not only that, I wouldn’t know where to mail my letters to.
Although I’m not sure it matters because Lydia, she don’t write me anymore.

I’d write a letter to my youngest boy, Red, but he killed himself a few years back. Didn’t leave a note. Just left himself dangling from a rope. Nice kid, he was. Didn’t talk a helluva lot and had a bad habit of leavin’ a room as soon as I walked in it. But a nice kid just the same.
Yep, I’d write him if there were some point in it, but since there ain’t, I’ll just sit back in my rocking chair and listen to its lonely whine crawl along the dusty floors of this drafty old house.

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Robert Edward Levin is the author of the 1998 thriller, The Lizard and The Fly, The Glass Heart, a collection of short stories published in September, 2002, and co-author of ABOUT FACE, a novel released in June 2003.

Anonymous

Wow, Robert, that broke my heart. It's too bad nobody thought to put that old miserable.... out of his misery.

I love the way you used the insight into the minds of the victims.
Good job.

Kimberly

robert edward levin

Kimberly:

thank you, i appreciate your reading efforts, as well as your generous comments. you are most kind.

R~

__________________
Robert Edward Levin is the author of the 1998 thriller, The Lizard and The Fly, The Glass Heart, a collection of short stories published in September, 2002, and co-author of ABOUT FACE, a novel released in June 2003.

free_mind_7

wow. that is awesome. if what impresses me matters to you, then i must say thats impressive. very touching as well. i love the style you wrote it in. its a very cool piece of writing and i am at awe. nice work.

__________________
"Well fuck me Freddy!" -Beaver Clarenden in "Dreamcatcher"

robert edward levin

free mind:

thank you much, the fact that you enjoyed the story means a lot, and i appreciate it.

R~

__________________
Robert Edward Levin is the author of the 1998 thriller, The Lizard and The Fly, The Glass Heart, a collection of short stories published in September, 2002, and co-author of ABOUT FACE, a novel released in June 2003.

Scott

WOW!! Absolutely awsome.

How's your latesr book, About Face, doing?

robert edward levin

thanks scott, i'm glad you liked the story. as for my new book, About Face, it won't be out for another week or two, so it's not doing anything at the moment. you can go to amazon.com and read some pre-publication reviews though.

anyway, thanks again.

r

__________________
Robert Edward Levin is the author of the 1998 thriller, The Lizard and The Fly, The Glass Heart, a collection of short stories published in September, 2002, and co-author of ABOUT FACE, a novel released in June 2003.

rcallaci

Excellent sketch of an isolated, abusive narcissist.
What impressed me the most is that you captured this unflattering mans pain and lonileness in your ending sentence. Outstanding work, your great read.

Warm Regards,
Bob

__________________
Nature weeps, the devil sings
at man’s greed and pride
and what it brings

Just lots of useless
little things…

God is Dead; He died yesterday from Nothing...

http://theoddvillepress.com

robert edward levin

Bob~

thanks for reading, your comments are most appreciated.

R~

__________________
Robert Edward Levin is the author of the 1998 thriller, The Lizard and The Fly, The Glass Heart, a collection of short stories published in September, 2002, and co-author of ABOUT FACE, a novel released in June 2003.

Anonymous

Entertaining deviation from the norm, I enjoyed it but think I might know him also........... or maybe I should say I've been to the town he lives in!
Good luck with your book.......... Keith

robert edward levin

Keith:

again, thank you. i know the son-of-a-bitch as well. anyway, if you want to read some excerpts, reviews of my new book, check out my site at www.robertedwardlevin.com.

thanks again,

R~

__________________
Robert Edward Levin is the author of the 1998 thriller, The Lizard and The Fly, The Glass Heart, a collection of short stories published in September, 2002, and co-author of ABOUT FACE, a novel released in June 2003.

Kimberly Bird

Hi Robert, I'm curious to know which one you were. Your writings remind me a lot of how my brother's look at the world and certain people around them.

I was at a Fine Arts campaign the other night and I was promoting not only myself but you as well. Many of the men seemed quite interested in reading your stuff. So from way up North in Canada, you are already getting known.

I just wish I would have thought to bring your book with me. Next time.

Kimberly

robert edward levin

Hi Kimberly:

actually i'm not any of the characters. the story, as the say, is fictitious. i just came up with the letter writing concept and thought it would be an interesting way to write a story... so i did. gave the lead character a bit of an uneducated way about his speech to add some color, and that's it.

what book did you buy, by the way? and who is interested in reading the stuff. if you know of any reading groups up your way, i may be able to convince my publisher to send some that way at no cost to the group.

of course, anyone interested can always go to amazon.com.

anyway, thank you very much for reading and for spreading the word. i deeply appreciate it.

R~

__________________
Robert Edward Levin is the author of the 1998 thriller, The Lizard and The Fly, The Glass Heart, a collection of short stories published in September, 2002, and co-author of ABOUT FACE, a novel released in June 2003.

Kimberly Bird

Hi Robert, most of these men were various artists, sculptures and things of that nature. It gave me an excuse to flirt with them. Just joking, well a little bit.

I gave them your name and told them to check you out through Amazon. Actually I was just wondering if you have your books in Chapters.ca. That is the largest Canadian book chain. It made me wonder that because when my book was sent to Chapters they also put it in Amazon. Ask you editor about this. It would be a great way to break into the Canadian market.

Talk to you soon.

Kimberly

robert edward levin

Kimberly:

actually, i've not heard of Chapters.ca before, but i will definitely check it out. thanks for the info, and how'd the flirting go?

R~

__________________
Robert Edward Levin is the author of the 1998 thriller, The Lizard and The Fly, The Glass Heart, a collection of short stories published in September, 2002, and co-author of ABOUT FACE, a novel released in June 2003.