Thread: A Concept (Help please)

Well I haven't started script writing or anything bu I really like this idea. I only have one character down Jim. (Ill explain later)

erm this is a bit difficult to explain but i'll try my best.

Every Once in a while the universe becomes unstable and space time begins to corrode. Only beings with enlightened minds can see the universe where its unstable. When these instabilities appear a rift appears somewhere in it. This rift is a literal hole in the universe that if not satisfied will grow till the universe implodes upon that rift. There are thousands of dimensions out there. All of them experience this distortion, and once one implodes it will domino effect and all dimensions will end. Beings from a higher plane (a very cryptic version of heaven Jim refers to Angels as pigeons). Are sent to guide these enlightened beings to satisfy these rifts and discover what is causing these instabilities and stop them once and for all. Previous enlightened "saviors" as they are christened are Jesus Christ whom stopped rifts by miracles (water to wine) and ultimately what was causing the destruction was his life (immaculate conception) so he had to die to set things straight. Another was Hitler who had to close only one rift which demanded masses of money. However after he held his position he went mad and started the holocaust due to what he had experienced, however thats a whole other story. Now in a small town in Colorado the rifts have begun to appear again, so they send in the "Guide" Jim to lead the newly elected "Savior" jack (an 18 year old in his senior year) to close the rifts.

Regular humans are unaffected by the rifts, however if the savior is to touch them he will vanish and the universe will corrode and collapse. Only the Guide can enter the rift and it presents him with a riddle, which the Savior has to solve. Once he figures it out he must toss what the rift requests into it closing the rift. It can be as simple as a penny to as grand as 100 human hearts.

Basically this film chronicles Jims and Jacks search to find the cause of the rifts which I will not spoil here. Its gonna be an overall dark film with lots of dark comedy
A comedic Tragedy sort of...

I just can't quite develop all the mythology or which path I want the film to take in its climax.
Also i worry I verge to close to Donnie Darko (probably my favorite movie of all time = P)



__________________________________________________ __________________

Opening Scene

Camera is focused on a blue dusk sky, right before the sun is going to rise

Jack: The sky......it's...so blue....*sighs* the airs nice...are you there

Jim: hehehehe of course Jaaaack

Jack: Who are you?

Jim: me!?.... I'm a guide!!!

Jack: I asked who not what

Jim: hehe you can call me .... Jim

Jack: Hello Jim

Jim: Hiya Jack

Jack: Why are you here....

Jim: *cackles* wake up...jack

Scene moves to a dark bedroom with an alram clock going off and flashing 8:00 AM

__________________________________________________ _________________

Thanks in advance

It's similar in concept to that of Donnie Darko. That may be a good thing or a bad thing.

Okay, your opening pitch, with lots o f backstory and mythos confused me. Then, at the end, it became a lot clearer, a lot more like a movie. In film, we like to summarize what a movie is "about" in a few sentences called a logline. A logline should contain a lot of information to help your film stand out, but it doesn't need to be the definitive explination of your film.

So, yours might be: Jim, a cynical guide from heaven is selected to guide the newly appointed savoir, Jack, an 18-year-old in high school, from the sudden, but habital, rift in the universe.

It's not perfect, but this is a pretty clear set up of what your movie is going to be about, no?

Now, for your opening scene. Why is this your opening scene? I don't think it's complete, but I also don't think it's a bad scene. But we don't know Jack and we don't know Jim (by the way, Jack and Jim are two confusing names to read next to each other in a script. I'd recommend changing one to a non J name). Therefore, when the meet, we just don't get any of the comedy I think you are hoping for. It's wierd. But if we see Jack have a crappy day at class, and he says, God, if you're there, just let me pass this test... and Jim shows up, says he's a guide for heaven...then that's much more ripe for comedy. A little back set up can go a long way.

Read some scripts and get format down.