Thread: Screenplay feedback

Hi,

I recently finished my first feature film script of 120-pages in length. I'm now at the stage where I am ready to give it the final polish.

I was hoping that there might be some kind soul out there who would like to read it and give a bit of feedback. Doesn't have to be a full critique, just a few comments here and there. And whether you've enjoyed the reading experience.

Where can I post my script for people to read?

Thanks

Marc.

you DON'T want to post the whole script... you can email me for a critcal read and feedback on what needs fixing, if anything... that's what i do... send me the logline, synopsis and first 9 pages for starters... send the pages as final draft, if you have it... if not, convert to rtf, so it won't lose the formatting...

love and hugs, maia
maia3maia@hotmail.com

I guess you could just post it into this thread. You would probably lose your formatting but that doesn't really render a scipt unreadable. You could also post the first ten pages or so for comment.

If you want to put it up where you can link to it, I'd suggest starting a myspace or yahoo (or MSN) group where you can put it.

(Watch out for people on forums like this who rush to ask you to give you their email address and are dying to read your script for free, by the way)

Hmmm....not sure what to do. I forsee problems with either method. Think i'll go for the geocities idea. My work is copyrighted and registered so I think should be fine.

Okay, here's a link to my script.

www.geocities.com/marc_d_thompson/MakeADreamSurvive.pdf

Sorry I cant post a link yet - please copy and paste.

Please remember that it's copyrighted and I am able to prove that the work is my own.

Constructive feedback would be nice, but please go easy on me. This is my first script...ever!

Thanks

Marc

needs a bit of fixing here and there, but is quite exceptional for a first script, compared to the thousands of others i've seen in the years i've been mentoring aspiring screenwriters... you've obviously done your homework and learned the basics pretty well... and have a nice lean/clean writing style, something i rarely see in newbies...

if you want any help with it, don't worry about contacting me... i've been doing this for a long time and will be glad to give you references you can check to make sure they're real...

hugs, maia

How do you prove that a work is written by you..... I would like to know how to protect my works....

Don't worry Marc, I read it... and nobody is going to steal it. I promise you that.

How do you prove that a work is written by you..... I would like to know how to protect my works....

here's how:

1. you keep all notes re your first ideas, plus an early paper draft or two with handwritten corrections, etc.... this establishes a paper trail from idea to finished work that a 'thief' won't have [unless terribly clever and stupid enough to waste so much time]... files on your computer prove nothing, btw... they can be faked too easily... paper copies with handwritten notes won't prove when something was written but do show the creative process and development of an idea into script/story/book/whatever...

2. you can register your existing copyright [all work is automatically copyrighted when you finish it and it exists in a reproducible form] at loc or wga [ U.S. Copyright Office and Writers Guild of America, West ; WGAE ]... if it's a screenplay or tv work, you want to use wgaw [first url]... if books or plays or song lyrics, pros usually use wgae... unless they're full members, in which case they use whichever one corresponds to where they live [e for east of mississippi and w for west of same] .. all this really does is give you the ability/right to sue anyone who challenges your ownership or uses your work w/o permission... it won't keep anyone from doing it... and you'll have to go to court to prove your case...

3. don't post entire [or substantial parts of] works anywhere on the web...

don't post entire [or substantial parts of] works anywhere on the web...

Bullshit...there are entire websites for the expressed purpose of reviewing entire scripts.
Zoetrope.com
Triggerstreet.com
To name the biggest.

What you SHOULDN'T do is email it off to wannabes who haunt this and other boards asking people to send them their work instead of posting it in publice where there is a record of it.
Think about that one.

What you SHOULDN'T do is email it off to wannabes who haunt this and other boards asking people to send them their work instead of posting it in publice where there is a record of it.
Think about that one.

you're a really pathetic individual, lin... you obviously can't see that your obsessive need to pounce on me at every opportunity only lets everyone here see how sick you are... please know that you are no longer capable of angering or upsetting me with your childish bullying... all that's left now is pity... i sincerely hope you get the help you so clearly still need [san diego, wasn't it?]... and i'll repeat this message every time you launch one of these totally uncalled for spite-ball attacks...

love and healing hugs, maia

Don't capitalize character names except the first time they appear. After that, normal.

I gotta tell you, having God as a character is a really quick route to the shredder. Other than concept comedies it just isn't done. Most SF magazines pretty much outlaw stories with God as a character.