Thread: Who we are - teenage play

Hi all,

I just started writing this. The play is about three girls who, from the outside, seem to lead ordinary lives. However each has a different problem within there family.The play is aimed at teenagers and young adults, so the language is fairly simple.Also if you have any suggestions for names I would love to know!

The girls and their problems are;

Grace- her parents are getting divorced. They have no interest in her at all, in other words they neglect her. Therefore at school she tries to attract attention both good and bad.

Amanda- her older brother has just revealed that he is gay.Her parents are both homophobic. Her brother and parents argue etc.

Karen- after her mother died her father remarried.Both he and his new wife abuse Karen. So Karen decides to turn to alcohol.

This is the very first scene:

Scene One
In the playground at lunch in school.
Amanda and Karen are talking to each other. Grace is talking to a bo, his name is guessed throughout the play.
Amanda: Wasn’t that test just so easy?
Karen looks unsure.
Karen: Yeah pretty much though I got stuck on the last question.
Amanda: What Karen, top at maths got stuck?! It was like so simple! Although, I spent loads of time revising at home.
Karen: I didn’t get much sleep last night.
Amanda: ( In the style of a parent)Tut ,tut Karen too much partying not enough studying.
Karen: It wasn’t like that, I was just. Well anyway, it doesn’t matter. Oh god now what is Grace doing.
(Amanda turns to look at Grace)
Amanda: Ughh she talking to that guy.
Karen: Again? Doesn’t she get the message?
Amanda: I know right just look at him. He looks almost scared.
Boy smiles awkwardly and raises eyebrows alarmed. Karen and Amanda laugh and attract Graces attention.
Amanda: Do you know there is are rumour going round that she calls herself, Grace the guy magnet.
Karen choughs on her drink.
Karen: Are you serious?
Amanda: Yep. Scary huh?
(Amanda and Karen freeze and Grace and the boy start talking)
Grace: So Saturday then.
Boy: Yeah I guess.
Grace walks over to Karen and Amanda.
Amanda : Speaking of the devil. (Amanda nods in Graces direction)
The sight of grace makes Karen start laughing again.
Grace; What are you laughing at?
Amanda: Oh just the pain and fear in that poor boys’ eye!
Karen: Amanda (nudging her) you can’t say stuff like that!
(Grace looks confused.)
Grace; Whateves. You will never guess what he just told me.
Amanda: (Dramatically, maybe moving hand up to her head?) Please tell us were dying. (Grace shoots Amanda a look)
Grace: Well apparently Mike over there(pointing to the boy).
Karen: I thought he was called Mark?
Grace: Yeah well his names not that important! Anyway I said about going to the party on Saturday and then he said, that he’d come.
Karen and Amanda look shocked.
Amanda: He actually agreed.
Grace: Yeah. And do you know what the best part is? Last week I heard that him and Sally were totally making out behind the caretakers hut .That means that there might be some action!
Karen: Eugh need to know basis only please!
Amanda : But you only just met him.
Grace: And your point is…
Amanda: He could be some weird pervert for all we know.
Grace: Don’t be such a killjoy!
Karen: Its true though! You can’t even remember his name.
(Grace rolls her eyes.)
Grace: Karen trust me. Anyway I best dash, I forgot to give Micky my number.
Runs off saying ‘Miky I forgot to give you my number’.
Amanda: Honestly, that girl.
Karen: Tell me about it, sometimes I think we are the only sane ones in the hell hole of a school.
Bell rings.
Amanda: Come on. Double lesson with Mr. Burpy .( Karen laughs)

Hi there- are you planning on staging this at a school? I think the fact that it looks mostly dialogue based and (I'm guessing) takes place entirely in the conversations between the girls means that it should be a very easy play to stage. Some of the best plays I've seen have minimal staging. I think you should have another read through it and just check some of your punctuation and grammar, as this will affect how others read the dialogue and how your actresses' deliver the lines, for instance:

"It wasn’t like that! I was just... Well... anyway, it doesn’t matter. Oh god, what is Grace doing now?"

The girls and their problems sound interesting, what is the rest of your story? I think an overall synopsis of what's going to happen will help reviewers of this scene see it in context.

Hi-I hope that this would be staged at a school or maybe by a youth theatre. Now I look back at it the grammer and punctuation is a bit dodgey! The aim of the play is to make the audience link the girls' home life to the way the girls' behaviour at school. For example Karen is often tired because she doesn't get much sleep at home. I want the audience to notice things and about the characters that they wouldn't normally notice in a normal play, but because they have seen what their home if is like they can link the two.

The play does not really have a story, I want the audience to feel like they have just stepped into someones life, for that reason i haven't got a defined begining, middle and end. Instead I have key points

• Amanda's brother reveals he is gay. He gets kicked out of the house.
• Grace runs away from home- in the hope of attracting attention. Eventually she keeps bunking off school and being rude that she gets expelled.
• Grace and Karen have a big argument.
• Karen gets drunk in school and gets sent home, where she is greeted by violence and anger. She commits suicide by walking in forunt of a bus, but makes it look like an accident.
• Karens death makes Grace ' clean up her act' and she focuses on school work more.

There are other minor situations in the play but these are the main five.
The general message is that you don't really know what is going on in other peoples lives and you should think before you say or do something.

Thanks for the quick response!

Those 5 main points sound to me like you've got a story, with a beginning, middle and end

I think maybe try do a timeline (I find the outline view in Word works like a charm for this kind of thing) and put down what happens to all of the girls in sequence, keeping in mind that because they are friends, each action will have circumstances for each of them. For instance, when Amanda's brother gets kicked out- it affects her, but then what does she do with her friends? Does she tell them and look for comfort- which they maybe cant give her because they are too concerned about their own problems, or does she shut down and become introverted, causing them to isolate her more?

Even if your play is only 30 min long, I think you would really benefit from planning out all the things that happen, it might take some time, ,but it will give you the chance to see the skeleton of your story laid out before you waste precious time niggling over bits of dialogue, that you realise later you can't use.

These things and the effects that they have on the girls, and the effect that the girls have on each other- that's your story right there, you don't need anything bigger to happen (one of your characters kills herself, that's pretty big!)

I would be happy to take a look at your outline or your script if you'd like.

And don't sweat the punctuation and grammar, you can ask as many people as possible in your life (and on the forum) to cast their eagle eyes over your writing and you'll eventually polish the final piece.

I think planning it is a really good idea. It will make writing it a lot easier, like you say. Thanks for the great advice, you have been very helpful. I would be very grateful if you would take a look at my outline, once I finsh it, i'll post it here.
Thanks again!

No problem I think you've got a great idea for a really powerful little play and I'd love to see the outline when you're finished.

Good luck