Here's an example of a treatment that got my script optioned. Notice it is in past tense and like a short story. It took 3 months to perfect it.

100 years ago, Henry Victor’s Circus of Marvels arrives outside the isolated outback town of Dunbar. Carnies get busy raising the tent and side show stalls. At the town welcome function, Henry Victor, the imposingly tall and amiable owner of the circus, has his picture taken with Stewart Dunbar, the town’s founder and ranch owner. Roll up! Roll up!

Later that evening, a young man, Sam, has a heated argument with Megan, the beautiful daughter of the constable. She screams at her boyfriend to let her go forever. She runs to a large, black caravan. Hiding behind a blanched tree is a 15 year old lad, Tom, spying on the fracas. He has a longing look at the young woman.

Henry is applying white make-up to his face inside the black caravan. As he applies the face paint, his dark side takes over in the form of the Ringmaster - a demonic tyrant with sadistic tendencies. He irritably opens his door to see Megan. He admires her beauty with a lecherous glare. Megan begs the Ringmaster to let her join the circus and take her away from this horrible town. He asks why she is running away. She hates the town and all in it, especially her brutish boyfriend. He smiles and accepts her proposal.

As dawn breaks over the distant mountains, Tom flees from Megan’s broken body with bloody hands. Arriving at the family ranch, he tells his father that the Ringmaster did it. Dunbar and his son, Tom, rouse two of his rough drovers and all four head into town on horseback. The photographer and Sam join the angry mob and head for the circus. As the tent is set ablaze the constable arrives on the scene, unaware of his daughter’s murder. He tries to stop the mob, but Dunbar tells him why they’re doing this. They falter as the constable savagely beats the Ringmaster to confess. The Ringmaster pleads his innocence and places a curse on the mob and their progeny – I will see you all in hell. Tom shoots the Ringmaster between the eyes. Dunbar forces the constable at gunpoint to keep his mouth shut, or else. The constable looks on in anguish as the mob gun down all the performers who try to escape the flames. As the flames devour the circus, a mysterious and terrifying black storm appears and swallows all evidence of the crime.

100 years later, Adam Dunbar and his teenage son, Craig (both are spitting images of their forbears), gather information at the town library for Adam’s upcoming supernatural novel, based on the town’s strange history and a vivid dream about a dark circus from hell. Craig looks up to see the unattainable Tanya walk past a window. He sighs at her beauty. Father gives him a nudge as he discovers inexplicable disappearances of locals from the town, starting with Stewart Dunbar. Why hasn’t anyone noticed this before? Craig sees a headline – Circus Does Disappearing Act.

The following day, Adam and Craig take a trip in Adam’s light plane. The engine stalls. A sudden rush of screaming darkness envelops the plane.

The beautiful Tanya, who looks exactly like Megan from 100 years ago, wants to leave Dunbar; now that her police officer father, Tuck, disappeared there is nothing left to hold her back. She has a violent argument with her boyfriend, Greg, a good-for-nothing layabout who will amount to zero and spitting image of the boyfriend 100 years ago. She runs away into the outback, but slips down a ravine, holding onto a vine. The screaming storm envelops her.

Greg leaves Tanya and drives off in his VW van. He swerves to avoid a kangaroo and hurtles towards a boulder. All goes screaming dark.

Stu and Mike are a pair of rough Jackaroos from Adam’s sheep ranch, exactly like the pair of drovers in the past. They have taken a sneaky day off to go fishing at a lake’s edge. They toss dynamite at lurking crocs and get drunk on tinnies. Stu gets stuck in quicksand. As Mike helps him the black storm engulfs them.

Kyle is the ace reporter, and looks like the photographer 100 years ago. He is returning to Dunbar as he smells a story about the strange disappearances from his home town. He swerves his car onto rail tracks as he juggles a mobile and a cup of coffee. As a train approaches, the strange dark mass envelops him.

All is dark and eerily silent. 7 terrified voices call out. The survivors stumble towards the other voices. They call out for help. No reply. Greg jokingly says aliens have abducted them. Kyle whimpers this can’t be real. Mike says he must be dreaming, so Stu gives him a kick. It hurts. Tanya begins to cry asking where she is. Craig puts an arm around her. All but Kyle recognise the familiar, but desperate voices from the town. A flash of flames reveals the Ringmaster, dressed head to toe in black. Craig smells scorched flesh. Adam asks where the hell they are.

“You are all where I want you to be.” The Ringmaster laughs maniacally. Screaming flames dance around him. The Newcomers jump back in shock, fright and confusion. A ring of screaming flames show a circus arena and benches. Craig and Adam decide to leave, but a clutch of scary looking Clowns leap at them. They jump back with fright. Kyle tries to run away, but is attacked by more clowns, using screeching fire whips to herd everyone to the benches.

The Ringmaster senses their desperation and calls for two volunteers to entertain him. The Newcomers look at him in abject terror. The Ringmaster states - we all get used down here! “Down where,” asks Craig. “Why hell, of course,” replies the Ringmaster. Craig is fearful. Adam looks around in a confused state as Clowns drag Greg and Tanya to the arena. After various fire breathing acts, Greg is plunged into a cannon. The Ringmaster gleefully offers the honours to Tanya. She gladly accepts, turning Greg into a human fireball. Greg vanishes with a terrible scream.

On the outback road, Greg lands back in his VW van in the real world. He swerves around the kangaroo and crashes into a massive boulder. The van explodes. Greg is shot out of the windscreen in a sheet of flames. He burns to a crisp, spreadeagled across the boulder.

The Ringmaster gleefully declares that the curse placed on Greg’s family has ended with him. “What curse,” asks Craig. Laughter is the reply. Tanya drops the torch and bursts into tears. The Clowns laugh and playfully chase her back to Craig. A fearful Adam grabs Craig and heads for the entrance. Everyone else follows. The Clowns give chase, screaming like Banshees. As Adam and Craig desperately search for the tent flap, fire erupts all around the edge of the canvas. Stu bursts into flames. Mike dives on him and uses sand to put out the flames. They are trapped.

The Newcomers are plunged into darkness. Fire Whip Clowns light flaming torches and herd them past animal cages full of terrifying Freaks and vicious cats. Tanya screams with terror as claws slash at her, ripping her clothes. Craig comforts her as best he can. They pass a torture chamber, dripping with blood. The next room shows countless photos, some sepia with age, stuck to walls. Craig stops to get a closer look but is shoved forward.

Finally they are herded into a filthy cage. A Clown slams the cage door shut. A lone man is slumped in a dark corner, hidden by the dancing shadows cast by flickering torch flames. Adam demands to know what’s going on. The man tells them they must perform or die. “Why,” asks Craig? The Ringmaster has his reasons is the reply. Stu and Mike tussle as Mike says it’s Stu’s fault for chucking a sickie. Adam tells them to shut the fuck up.

Kyle cannot understand any of this. His world was well-ordered where he was always in control. He hammers on the bars to be let free. A hideous Clown fire whips the bars, which turn red hot. Kyle scampers away in terror. Mike offers a reason – they’ve all been drugged and are being used by these lunatics in some sick game. Adam muses over this – it’s almost feasible. But the man in the corner laughs, “this is not a game.” Tanya bursts into tears, “is this hell?” The man insists they are all stuck in this circus until the curse has been lifted.

Adam asks the stranger who he is, but everything goes pitch black. The Newcomers slump to the floor, unconscious. During a very disturbing sleep, they all experience vivid nightmares of death, torture and a burning circus full of awful screams. Tanya dreams of her father’s death at the circus, where he is torn to pieces by panthers. Adam dreams of his dead wife as they enjoy a trip to a beach.

The Newcomers wake up on the benches. They look to see the roof of the tent is now a glowing mass of flames. Craig has noticed the stranger hasn’t joined them. Adam goes blank as he sees his dead wife arguing with him about his drinking problem. Craig looks concerned at his father who seems miles away. With a clap of his hands, the Ringmaster chooses Kyle and Tanya.

The Clowns drag a screaming Kyle into the arena where he displays just how useless with fear he is. Tanya tries to help, but Kyle keeps hearing a train approaching. The clowns attack. Tanya jumps onto a Clown, kicking and screaming. Kyle crawls away only to bump into the Ringmaster. He begs for mercy. Craig is desperate to help Tanya. He grabs Adam for help, but Adam is far away in a trance. As the Ringmaster ponders this delicious moment Craig rushes to Tanya’s aid. A tearful Adam is rendered useless as he watches his dear departed wife laughing at a party. Stu and Mike join Craig, eagerly charging into the fray. Craig pins a Clown with his knee and snaps his neck. The Clown erupts into flames. All the other Clowns falter. Craig is defiant, energised with hope, knowing their tormentors can be killed.

The Ringmaster screams with a terrifying rage, clapping his hands to cause flames to surround the Newcomers in the arena. The remaining Clowns walk through the flames. The heat is unbearable as the circle of flames gets smaller. Craig risks it and jumps through the heat. The others follow, but all end up in a terrifyingly dark place, full of terrible wailing and sickening sounds of death. They are all plunged into a nightmare to face their worst fears.

The Ringmaster claps his hands. The terrified group are back on the benches, except Craig. Adam’s mind is dancing with his wife, as two Clowns drag him into the arena and tie him to a post. Several enormous black panthers are whipped into a frenzy by cackling Clowns. Craig is handed a whip. The cats tear at Adam. Craig’s whip only makes the cats more volatile. Craig screams with rage and whips the Ringmaster around his neck, searing his flesh. The Clowns panic, as if no longer under the Ringmaster’s influence. Craig pulls the Ringmaster into the arena where the cats start to pace around him. The Clowns come to their leader’s aid as Craig releases his torn and bloody father. Craig helps Adam back to the benches where his wounds miraculously heal. Adam is unaware of what just happened to him. He snaps out of his wife dream. Craig and others are amazed at Adam’s recovery. Even Tanya’s hands are no longer burnt. Adam stares forlornly into his son’s eyes. They hug.

The Ringmaster screams angrily, clapping his hands. The panthers vanish in a flash of fire. RM demands punishment and leaves the Newcomers to decide who it will be.

Whilst the Newcomers argue who should face the Ringmaster’s wrath, Adam calmly walks across the arena and into the darkness. Craig screams at his father, but it is too late.

The Newcomers are returned to the holding pen to mull over their indecision, whilst Adam is shackled to a blood-stained wall in the torture chamber and brutally whipped by the Ringmaster.

Within moments all the Newcomers are back on the benches. The Ringmaster chooses Stu and Mike. They are trembling with fear as Clowns bring on the Wheel of Death, spun by a very nervous Tanya. After several miserable efforts of knife-throwing, Mike attempts to kill the Ringmaster with a knife. The Ringmaster laughs, telling Mike he’d have to do better than that.

As Stu recovers from his knife wounds, a terrified scream alerts all on the benches. Craig looks up to see Tanya on a trapeze. She is absolutely shaking with fear. She starts to slip as a Clown teases the rope. Craig rushes to her aid. The Ringmaster applauds this brave effort - for young love is as sweet as a summer’s wine, and besides he likes cheats. Craig screams at the Ringmaster, saying he’s going to kill him.

The Ringmaster punishes Craig’s defiance by placing Adam and Tanya in a horrific trap, forcing Craig to save only one of them from a gruesome death. He cheats with Mike’s help, saving both. Whilst father and son recuperate, The Ringmaster shocks everyone by telling them that he was killed by Craig exactly 100 years ago to the day. The shockwaves of these words impale Adam’s recovery. Craig looks aghast at the Ringmaster, who is gleefully dancing around the arena, chased by flames. He stops, and points at Craig, asking, “who has the courage to save us all from this purgatory?” He claps his hands.

The exhausted Newcomers flop on the rotten floor of the animal cage. Henry Victor tells them he has been trapped here for exactly 100 years. Adam is incredulous. Henry continues, saying the Ringmaster has to lift his vengeful curse, placed on you all 100 years ago, or he will never find eternal peace. Tanya bursts into tears, asking if Henry knew her father, Tuck. Yes, but he couldn’t lift the curse because his daughter is still part of it. The Ringmaster has been in this hell for 100 years, waiting for the right opportunity to present itself. To lift the curse, you must all die, but there is hope if you can survive the circus. Adam discusses the vivid dreams they are all suffering from. Perhaps they’re not dreams, but memories. Kyle screams at them to shut the fuck up. None of this makes any sense as curses don’t exist. He wants no part of this. He holds his head in his hands and sobs.

The Ringmaster sits admiring his reflection in a black mirror. Henry smiles back at him. The Ringmaster asks his soft side how he is. Henry tells his dark side that the time is nearly at hand for final release. The Ringmaster has grown tired of waiting for the right moment to be free of his own curse of revenge that has also kept him trapped in this hell. They both laugh.

Stu and Mike are in the arena being watched by Adam, Craig and Tanya. Kyle is curled up under the benches, moaning out loud. They go through various he-man acts until Stu is trapped in quicksand attached to a lifesaver rope. Mike has to reach the rope and pull his mate out, but the arena is a minefield of bear traps. Mike skips around the traps and grabs the rope as Stu’s mouth starts to fill with sand. He pulls Stu clear, but in doing so he will fall into a waiting trap. This does not deter Mike from saving his mate. The Ringmaster is impressed at such a sacrifice. He claps his hands. A cloak of darkness takes them away.

Stu and Mike are back in the real world by the lake’s edge. A stick of dynamite explodes in the water. They scream and jump for joy, but Stu quickly sinks into liquid sand. Mike grabs his hand and pulls. A massive croc rushes from the water and snaps them in its jaws.

The Ringmaster confirms to all that he has let Stu and Mike go. He gives a wink at Craig. Craig falters as images flood his mind of angry men watching a burning circus tent. He looks down at his hands to see blood on them. He frowns at Tanya. She stares back at Craig with a perplexed look, holding her throat in pain. The Ringmaster smiles wickedly at Adam. Adam gets a powerful image of an angry mob burning the circus to the ground. Craig has a horrible feeling that he might be to blame for the curse and that he is the one who will pay the heaviest price. The Ringmaster laughs and claps his hands. All goes pitch black.

The Ringmaster chats with Henry. It seems these Newcomers are different. They are showing exceptional courage and are willing to sacrifice themselves for others, well, except for that useless Kyle, of course. The Ringmaster is actually feeling a little guilty. Henry grimaces, saying, “enough of that – you’re my dark side. Show them what you’re made of.”

Henry Victor is not in the cage. Adam slumps into a deep sleep where he sees his wife gallop off across the ranch for the last time. Craig tries to wake his father. It’s no use, but Craig tells Adam he forgives him for what happened to his mother. Tears run down Adam’s face. Craig turns from his father and leans against the bars. One of them is loose. He manages to pry it away. He shakes Adam, begging, “come on dad.” Adam can’t snap out of his trance. Craig looks around for danger. All is quiet except for the perpetual snivelling from Kyle.

So Craig and Tanya escape the cage into the dark. They flounder around until they come upon the photo room. They find old photos of all the Newcomers in Edwardian clothes outside a circus. Craig gives a furtive look at Tanya’s firm breasts. He so desperately wants to kiss her, but gets visions of his hands around Tanya’s throat. He almost faints as the awful truth becomes clear, but he can’t bring himself to tell Tanya. She begs Craig to run for it right now, but they hear laughter behind them. Tanya screams as the Ringmaster steps into the room with his Clowns. He claps his hands.

Craig holds Tanya’s hand on the benches. For the first time, Henry Victor sits watching with a curious smile. Craig tells Adam about the photos and why the Ringmaster has cursed them. But the Ringmaster sends Craig into a nightmare of burning flesh and strangulation to shut him up. Adam gets images of his predecessor leading the mob to kill the Ringmaster and of a woman’s broken body in a ravine. That must be it! They blamed Henry Victor for the woman’s death all those years ago. But that means one of us killed her. Craig snaps out of his living nightmare in a terribly distressed state. Craig cries with guilt. Adam hugs him close.

The Ringmaster claps his hands. Two Clowns drag a whimpering Kyle and Tanya, trying to hold her clothes in one piece, to the arena. Kyle cries out, “but you promised to leave me alone.” The Ringmaster teases Kyle and Tanya into performing various safe acts. Tanya is blindfolded as she saws away at Kyle in a coffin.

Kyle is returned to the real world where he struggles with his seatbelt. He hears the horn of an approaching train. SMASH! The train slices Kyle in half.

The Ringmaster and the Clowns do a dance macabre around the arena as screaming flames burst out of the floor and chase after them. Terrible wailing fills the arena along with demented laughter. Adam hugs Craig and tells him they must kill both Henry and the Ringmaster at the same time. Henry grins at them. Adam quickly looks to the arena to see the Ringmaster grinning also. He tells Tanya she must distract Henry somehow, during their next act. Adam has a feeling it’s going to be the final test.

Adam and Craig face each other with duelling pistols. Adam winks at Craig. Craig nods okay. They each take ten paces. The Ringmaster rubs his hands with glee. Tanya screams and attacks Henry, causing the Ringmaster to falter. Adam fires at the Ringmaster, but he catches the bullet between two fingers. Craig shoots Henry through the head. The bullet leaves the Ringmaster’s grip and blows his brains out to die along with his split personality.

The clowns run about in panic as flames erupt all around the circus. The tent bursts into flames and devours the clowns as history repeats itself. Performers dressed in sequined outfits are gunned down by the angry mob. The massive tent pole shudders and falls. Adam, Craig and Tanya run for their lives. Adam sees the pole is going to hit Craig and Tanya. He pushes them aside as the pole smashes down on him, crushing him. Adam tells Craig it’s no use, he can see his wife calling to him. He hears the sound of a diving plane and sees himself in the cockpit. Death is approaching fast. Craig grabs Tanya’s hand and both leap through the flames into the realm of darkness.

Craig snatches a flaming torch and shoves it into the face of a Clown. He bursts into flames. They run through the dark place, passing their former home, the photo room. Craig enters the photo room and snatches several important snapshots. He pockets them before continuing. Oh God, the torch goes out. Pitch black! Tanya screams in terror. Craig grips hold of her trembling hand and leads her into the unknown. Tanya gasps as a bright light can be seen in the distance. Her body seems to become weightless and free. She begins to cry as she now realises she is dead. Craig stops as he sees clouds rushing by and hears the plane’s engine cough and sputter. Tanya sees jagged rocks far below her. They step into the light.

Adam screams to Craig to get in the back of the plane. Craig burrows amongst the luggage as the plane dives towards the ground.

Tanya pulls her weary body up the vine. She hears the plane. She gets to her feet and watches the plane cartwheel towards her. The plane smashes into a tree and comes to a rest a few feet from Tanya. She screams as the propeller shaves a few hairs from her head. The plane is half over the ravine, rocking precariously.

Tanya looks sadly at Adam’s mangled body covered in blood. He moans. She gently slaps Craig’s face. He comes to. His blurred vision clears to see that lovely but fearful face. He kisses her long and hard. She returns the kiss. As Craig hugs his dying dad, Tanya sees a strange cloak of darkness approaching. Henry Victor steps from the darkness, declaring the Ringmaster cannot be defeated. Craig tells him to go back to hell and fires a flare gun. The Ringmaster bursts into flames.

By dusk, Tanya and a desolate Craig drag their sorry bodies across the outback to the highway. They collapse at the edge of the road and wait for a saviour. A massive motor home stops. The driver cracks the tinted window open, listens to their plight and allows them in. Tanya and Craig drink ice-cold beer and cry for the lost. They fall asleep with sheer exhaustion.

Craig dreams back to 100 years ago. As Tom, he watches Megan argue with Sam, her boyfriend. She runs to the black caravan. He knows this will be the last time he’ll ever see her. During the night, Tom rapes and strangles Megan before throwing her body down a ravine. Tom shoots the Ringmaster and burns the circus to the ground.

Craig wakes up with a jolt and stares at his bloody hands and Tanya’s dead body on the floor. The Ringmaster bows to Craig and lifts the curse. Craig cries for his father. The Ringmaster pats Craig’s shoulder with almost affection, thanking him for his final release. Craig wakes again and sees Tanya smiling at him. They hear horses snorting. Tanya screams in terror as the Ringmaster leers at them from his seat out front – “to the Victor the spoils”. Craig and Tanya scream with despair. The caravan slowly fades into a tunnel of white light.

It’s twilight now. Craig and Tanya walk down the outback highway towards the distant lights of Dunbar.

Craig enters the town’s newspaper office to tell the truth of the disappearing circus.

Fade to black with the Ringmaster’s hideous laugh.