Thread: A synopsis for a screenplay.

I started writing long ago and it's always been a hobby to me. Usually my scripts just amounted to nothing, meaning I would start writing something, then get bored with the drivel, forget about it and start a new project.

Also a problem I had for a long time was that the scripts weren't funny at all, at least not in my humble opinion.

I was writing a lot in Copenhagen, on park benches in New York, in Cairo and in hotel rooms.

Then I figured "Pongy, you need to get a proper job first". So I forgot all about writing and just focused on getting at least a decent job (no grave digging or such). I was asked last week to install visa card machines for two months, so yesterday I bought a car to use for the job.

Well that's a bit about me. I'll keep on working on this script as long as I've got the notion that it's going somewhere - doesn't need to be YouTube, could be anything really even if it's only an idea in the minds of others.

Updated

SUNSET BEACH

BY PONGY

Script URL: goo.gl/nnXu

EXT. BEACH - EVENING.

Two young men and a middle-aged man walk along the beach.

BENNY

Yo, I think I got a bit tanned today. It was so hot.

KENNY

Very interesting.

BENNY

I love sunshine, I wish it could be like this every day.

KENNY

Dude, it’s always sunny in California.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOTEL - EVENING.

The three men ramble on toward the Californian seaside hotel where they are accommodated. Up above the seagulls utter their indistinguishable sounds while the sun sets in the horizon.

BENNY

Yo, that’s just amazing.

SAM

Are you referring to the sunset?

KENNY

Benny, you’re such a dork.

SAM

Listen, Benny, we know you’ve had a rough time of late, what with your girlfriend dumping you and all...

BENNY

Oh come on, don’t give me that sentimental bogus. There are many drops in the ocean.

KENNY

Admit it, you’re sad. And you’re turning a bit gay.

BENNY

No way, that’s out of line! I was a marine for chrissake.

INT. AT THE BAR - NIGHT.

Later that evening, at the bar.

SAM

Let’s have a glass of orange juice each.

BENNY

Nah, I want a Mai Tai.

KENNY

And I want some absolut vodka.

SAM

That’s preposterous. I’ve got the wallet and hence I shall decide. We will have orange juice, alcoholic beverages are bad for the health.

INT. INSIDE THE HOTEL ROOM - MORNING.

The morning after.

SAM

Ok boys, time to get up.

BENNY

But it’s 6 AM.

KENNY

Yeah, what’s that all about?

SAM

Early bird boys. Early bird. We shall devote our lives to hard work.

BENNY

You’ve gotta be kidding.

KENNY.

Yeah. It’s a joke. I ain’t getting up.

SAM

Oh yes you will. Remember that I am your leader, chosen not democratically but by destiny.

EXT. ON THE WAY TO THE FACTORY - MORNING.

The cheerful trio goes to work in an assembly factory.

INT. INSIDE THE FACTORY - DAY.

KENNY

For crying out loud, this is so dull I think I may have to get a brain surgery.

BENNY

Yeah. A lobotomy. You need it.

SAM

Carry on now, we shall overcome.

KENNY

Remind me why we’re doing this.

SAM

It’s every responsible citizen’s duty to do his best for society.

KENNY

But I would much rather lay around on the beach, sipping on a soda and watching the sunset.

SAM

Oh no, there won’t be any time for that. Life for an industrial worker is almost incomprehensibly hard. Think of the Chinese workers and how they work in their sweat and tears to produce the things you buy at Wal-Mart.

KENNY

Aw, you’re making me cry.

Benny assembles a few tools.

BENNY

Well I think Kenny dislikes this more than I do. I’m almost ok with it, though it’s a bit tedious.

INT. AT SUBWAY THE SANDWICH PLACE - DAY.

During break the guys have a sandwich at Subway.

SAM

I have to confess something guys.

BENNY

Oh, what now?

KENNY

This can’t be good.

SAM

I believe in Jesus Christ our almighty saviour.

KENNY

You’re such a dork.

BENNY

Careful Kenny. You know he’s a bit crazy.

SAM

God has spoken to me, sent an angel as a revelation.

KENNY

That’s it, I’m leaving.

SAM

You’re not. You know I know things about you that you don’t want the press to know.

KENNY

!(/¤&#%(#%

BENNY (WHISPERING)

He’s dangerous.

SAM

From now on we will work twice as hard to build heaven on earth. We shall overcome.

BENNY

Oh god.

SAM

Do not use the lord’s name in vain.

INT. AT THE FACTORY - DAY.

The following day the three cabaleros assemble hundreds of tools in the factory where they are employed.

KENNY

Thanks god it’s Friday.

SAM

I’ve already made plans for us for the weekend.

KENNY

Spare us your plans old man. You’re deranged and you need to be locked up.

SAM

Be quiet, fool.

BENNY

Here we go again.

SAM

I’ve had enough of your insipid attitude. Be prepared to meet your maker.

Sam hurls his lunch box at Kenny, who ducks.

KENNY

What are you trying to do? Your little lunch box can’t save you now.

SAM

Aargh!

Benny dodges under a desk.

BENNY (SHOUTING TO SAM)

Yo, peace brah!

BENNY (SHOUTING TO KENNY)

Please calm down, this will lead to major trouble.

Kenny charges towards Sam.

KENNY

I will teach you something.

Sam moves to the side, sticks out his leg and Kenny stumbles over it and into a pile of trash.

SAM

Now, now young lad. I hope that calms you down.

Sam helps Kenny to get on his feet.

SAM

Let me hear it.

KENNY

I’m sorry.

SAM

Attaboy.

INT. IN THE HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT.

Sam, Kenny and Benny are tucked in and ready to go to sleep.

BENNY

I’m so tired.

SAM

It’s understandable, you’ve worked quite a lot today.

KENNY

My knuckles hurt.

SAM

That’s because you’re a bit of a knucklehead.

SAM

Let’s pray together before we fall asleep.

SAM

Our Father in heaven! As in heaven, so on earth, Thy Name be hallowed...

BENNY

Zzzz....

KENNY

Zzzz...

SAM

But... I’ll be darned? Well, well, I’ll let this one slip. Goodnight brethren.

Sound of cars passing by outside the hotel as Sam too falls to sleep.

ANIMATION.

Three sleeping midgets and Santa Claus entering the chimney.

NARRATOR

Moon shining, I saw her by the drawer, picked up the gun. Resistance to Zenith programming with the lard and butter, gracefully sweeping through the attic. When you’ve visited Sunset Beach everything becomes clear.

SUNSET BEACH

BY PONGY

Script URL: aoioe.tk/sunsetbeach

EXT. BEACH - EVENING.

Two young men and a middle-aged man walk along the beach.

BENNY

Yo, I think I got a bit tanned today. It was so hot.

KENNY

Very interesting.

BENNY

I love sunshine, I wish it could be like this every day.

KENNY

Dude, it’s always sunny in California.

EXT. OUTSIDE THE HOTEL - EVENING.

The three men ramble on toward the Californian seaside hotel where they are accommodated. Up above the seagulls utter their indistinguishable sounds while the sun sets in the horizon.

BENNY

Yo, that’s just amazing.

SAM

Are you referring to the sunset?

KENNY

Benny, you’re such a dork.

SAM

Listen, Benny, we know you’ve had a rough time of late, what with your girlfriend dumping you and all...

BENNY

Oh come on, don’t give me that sentimental bogus. There are many drops in the ocean.

KENNY

Admit it, you’re sad. And you’re turning a bit gay.

BENNY

No way, that’s out of line! I was a marine for chrissake.

INT. AT THE BAR - NIGHT.

Later that evening, at the bar.

SAM

Let’s have a glass of orange juice each.

BENNY

Nah, I want a Mai Tai.

KENNY

And I want some absolut vodka.

SAM

That’s preposterous. I’ve got the wallet and hence I shall decide. We will have orange juice, alcoholic beverages are bad for the health.

INT. INSIDE THE HOTEL ROOM - MORNING.

The morning after.

SAM

Ok boys, time to get up.

BENNY

But it’s 6 AM.

KENNY

Yeah, what’s that all about?

SAM

Early bird boys. Early bird. We shall devote our lives to hard work.

BENNY

You’ve gotta be kidding.

KENNY.

Yeah. It’s a joke. I ain’t getting up.

SAM

Oh yes you will. Remember that I am your leader, chosen not democratically but by destiny.

EXT. ON THE WAY TO THE FACTORY - MORNING.

The cheerful trio goes to work in an assembly factory.

INT. INSIDE THE FACTORY - DAY.

KENNY

For crying out loud, this is so dull I think I may have to get a brain surgery.

BENNY

Yeah. A lobotomy. You need it.

SAM

Carry on now, we shall overcome.

KENNY

Remind me why we’re doing this.

SAM

It’s every responsible citizen’s duty to do his best for society.

KENNY

But I would much rather lay around on the beach, sipping on a soda and watching the sunset.

SAM

Oh no, there won’t be any time for that. Life for an industrial worker is almost incomprehensibly hard. Think of the Chinese workers and how they work in their sweat and tears to produce the things you buy at Wal-Mart.

KENNY

Aw, you’re making me cry.

Benny assembles a few tools.

BENNY

Well I think Kenny dislikes this more than I do. I’m almost ok with it, though it’s a bit tedious.

INT. AT SUBWAY THE SANDWICH PLACE - DAY.

During break the guys have a sandwich at Subway.

SAM

I have to confess something guys.

BENNY

Oh, what now?

KENNY

This can’t be good.

SAM

I believe in Jesus Christ our almighty saviour.

KENNY

You’re such a dork.

BENNY

Careful Kenny. You know he’s a bit crazy.

SAM

God has spoken to me, sent an angel as a revelation.

KENNY

That’s it, I’m leaving.

SAM

You’re not. You know I know things about you that you don’t want the press to know.

KENNY

!(/¤&#%(#%

BENNY (WHISPERING)

He’s dangerous.

SAM

From now on we will work twice as hard to build heaven on earth. We shall overcome.

BENNY

Oh god.

SAM

Do not use the lord’s name in vain.

INT. AT THE FACTORY - DAY.

The following day the three cabaleros assemble hundreds of tools in the factory where they are employed.

KENNY

Thanks god it’s Friday.

SAM

I’ve already made plans for us for the weekend.

KENNY

Spare us your plans old man. You’re deranged and you need to be locked up.

SAM

Be quiet, fool.

BENNY

Here we go again.

SAM

I’ve had enough of your insipid attitude. Be prepared to meet your maker.

Sam hurls his lunch box at Kenny, who ducks.

KENNY

What are you trying to do? Your little lunch box can’t save you now.

SAM

Aargh!

Benny dodges under a desk.

BENNY (SHOUTING TO SAM)

Yo, peace brah!

BENNY (SHOUTING TO KENNY)

Please calm down, this will lead to major trouble.

Kenny charges towards Sam.

KENNY

I will teach you something.

Sam moves to the side, sticks out his leg and Kenny stumbles over it and into a pile of trash.

SAM

Now, now young lad. I hope that calms you down.

Sam helps Kenny to get on his feet.

SAM

Let me hear it.

KENNY

I’m sorry.

SAM

Attaboy.

INT. IN THE HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT.

Sam, Kenny and Benny are tucked in and ready to go to sleep.

BENNY

I’m so tired.

SAM

It’s understandable, you’ve worked quite a lot today.

KENNY

My knuckles hurt.

SAM

That’s because you’re a bit of a knucklehead.

SAM

Let’s pray together before we fall asleep.

SAM

Our Father in heaven! As in heaven, so on earth, Thy Name be hallowed...

BENNY

Zzzz....

KENNY

Zzzz...

SAM

But... I’ll be darned? Well, well, I’ll let this one slip. Goodnight brethren.

Sound of cars passing by outside the hotel as Sam too falls to sleep.

INT. IN THE HOTEL ROOM - MORNING.

The three companies sit by the breakfast table in the hotel restaurant.

BENNY

Oh gosh, I’m so tired.

KENNY

I’m half asleep...

SAM

Cheer up, brethren. We shall devote ourselves to creating heaven on earth.

KENNY (Whispering to Benny)

We must escape from this maniac...

Directions are to be nearly minuscule.... This is not a novel or a short story.

"The young men ramble on toward the Californian seaside hotel where they are accommodated. Up above the seagulls utter their indistinguishable sounds while the sun sets in the horizon."

Should read more like : "Sun sets. Sounds of seagulls. The young men ramble on. Walking toward seaside hotel and are accommodated." Just a rough example in using as few words as possible and meant as No more...

Each page in a screenplay = equals about one minute...Each minute = about one million $$$$ to make.... Stick to 120 pages or under unless you have something like "Schneider's List" stay away from things that run into over 2 hours for the most part ... It can be a hard sell unless it really rocks big time......Good luck)

Here’s what you got: Three brothers or friends talking to each other over 8 scenes with different settings.

Here’s what you don’t have: A sequence of events that are leading into a story.

In your story, your characters are doing various things but the point of each scene is the same – they talk and express themselves. There is some minor conflict, but it’s all fun and games and no change in their relationship occurs. The settings change, but for no reason other than to distract the audience from the fact that nothing substantial is happening on screen (correct me if I’m wrong, but that’s the impression I got).

Films are tricky in that you might feel as though you’ve seen some movies before where there is no plot and there are just these great, interesting and funny characters on screen doing things to make you laugh or cry but that’s never the case; there is always something forcing the characters to move to one place or another, to do this or that (I forget where I plagiarized that from).

If you really want to write a movie, I think you should pick one or two of your favorite comedies or whatever genre of movie you want to write, watch them and pay special attention to the first half-hour of each one. Pay close attention to the opening scenes and how each scene connects to the other. Browse the internet for the screenplay and learn how those scenes were written. While doing this you will also see how a screenplay is formatted, what terminologies there are and the various liberties writer’s take with style and composition.

Hi, Pongy,

If you haven’t written a synopsis delineating three acts and plot points, you ought to have a stab at it.

Like it or not screenplays have formulas, they aren't rigid but they should be there. Nobody in the biz discusses a script without referring to Acts.

Shuffling humorous scenes to form a screenplay is not going to be marketable.

HI Pongy, a synopsis for a screenplay should be 2-3 pages describing the entire feel from act1- 2- 3. Involve all key characters of which 6 should be max. Only use 2 or 3 lines of dialogue as dialogue does not push the action forward. Start by creating a logline - a 1 sentence pitch in which a producer gets the general idea ie the hook ie what makes him want to fork out millions of dollars. After that create your 1 paragrah synopsis then 2-3 pages and finally, and this is the most difficult - a 6-10 page treatment, which should be written like a short story - using past tense instead of present. I know that sounds like a lot, but take it from me, if you can create a logline for instance Ben Hur - Young Jewish prince is wrongfully sent to the galleys where he endures terrible hardships, saves the fleet commander, becomes a Roman citizen and uses his new powers to destroy his hated enemy - then you're on your way.