Thread: When I Wake

When I Wake

One act drama, for "black box theater"
type production. Minimalist set. The stage is dark except
for a few shafts of light. SAMAEL, a man of indeterminate
late middle age possibly fifty or sixty, is alone on stage under one of the shafts of light. HUGH, a middle aged businessman,
enters walking briskly past.

SAMAEL

Hello.

HUGH continues walking past.

Hello!

HUGH

Are you speaking to me?

SAMAEL

(Looks around, then laughs.)

We’re the only ones here. So, yes.

HUGH

Look, I’m kind of busy. I have...

SAMAEL AND HUGH

(Simultaneously, but HUGH trails off
when he notices SAMAEL echoing his
words.)

...lots to do.

HUGH

Yes.

(Beat)

I decided today that I am going to make some changes in
my life.

SAMAEL

Did you? Now that is interesting.

HUGH

I don’t know why I told you that. I don’t know you. I
don’t usually speak to people I don’t know.

SAMAEL

Most people don’t.

HUGH

Don’t what?

SAMAEL

Speak to people they don’t know -- not really
anyway. Not much beyond a simple greeting, or enough
words to transact some insignificant piece of business,
or another.

HUGH impatiently looks at his wrist for his watch
and notices it is gone. He looks around on the
floor, checks his pockets, oblivious to SAMAEL.

People build houses to avoid contact with other people,
concrete, steel, brick, and wood shelters with heavy
draped windows and steel doors locked to keep...

HUGH

(No longer able to contain his anxiety)

My watch is gone!

SAMAEL

(Confidently)

It’s on your dresser. As I was saying, people build
houses...

HUGH

Maybe.

SAMAEL

I assure you, they do.

HUGH

No. I mean, maybe that is where my watch is. Then
again, maybe not.

SAMAEL

That’s where it is.

HUGH

How can you know that?

SAMAEL

I know people. You took it off last night, right?

HUGH

I guess so. I mean, I must have, but I don’t really
remember. Last night was a little hazy, if you get my
drift.

SAMAEL

When you take your watch off where do you usually place
it?

HUGH

On the dresser.

SAMAEL

That’s where it is. It’s on your dresser. No one
stole it -- if that is what you are thinking. People
are so quick to accuse each other of truly awful
things. It’s a shame really. Where has trust
gone? It’s like I was saying about building houses.

HUGH

I don’t care to hear about this right now.

SAMAEL

Your watch isn’t going anywhere. It’s in your
house. People supposedly build houses as shelters for
themselves, but what they are really doing is creating
a shelter for their things. Their possessions spend
more time locked in those windowed boxes than the
people do. The people are out trying their darnedest
to find the means to get more things. So, I ask you,
are houses shelters for the people, or are they mostly
protection for their stuff?

HUGH

(Distracted.)

Maybe I lost it? But I don’t really remember putting
it on this morning. I really don’t remember much about
this morning.

(Rubs his temples.)

My head is killing me.

SAMAEL

It’s on your dresser. Trust me. I know people. You
took it off last night and put it on the
dresser. People are also so quick to worry over
things. What was it that Jesus said about
worry? Something like, who of you by worrying can add
a single hour to his life?" Or something like
that. Wise man Jesus, problem is he doesn’t know
people.

HUGH

I wouldn’t know.

SAMAEL

Yeah, see, my point exactly. Jesus says not to worry,
but people worry. He’s right of course. When you
think about it, what is a watch anyway? Just an object
that...

HUGH

Mine’s a Rolex. It’s a work of art, An expensive work
of art.

SAMAEL

Alright, just an "expensive work of art" that keeps
track of a man made abstract number system. That’s all
that time is, an abstract number system. The
definition of "time" is "an indefinite period." To
quote the Chicago Transit Authority,-- the rock band,
not the actual transit Authority -- "Does anybody
really know what time it is, does anybody really..."

HUGH

...Hey buddy, I don’t care.

SAMAEL

No, no. "...Really care. If so I can’t imagine why,
we’ve all got time enough to..."

HUGH

Look, look. I don’t mean to be rude, but I’m upset over
my watch, and I have to get about my business. I’m in
a bit of a hurry, I...

SAMAEL AND HUGH

(Simultaneously)

...have lots to do.

SAMAEL

Yes, I remember. You’re making changes in your
life. What? Like eating better --No more red meat for
you-- being a more loving husband and father, taking
time to smell the roses or at least look at them, that
sort of thing?

HUGH

Yeah. I guess.

SAMAEL

(Sinisterly precise)

You should have quit drinking yesterday.

HUGH

What?

SAMAEL

Years ago really. You’re a nasty drunk.

HUGH

What did you just say?! I’m a what? To hell with you mister.

HUGH Starts to exit.

SAMAEL

That is one of your big plans for today, isn’t it?

HUGH stops and turns back.

One of your big life changes, right? You plan to find
help to quit drinking.

(Beat.)

You’ve tried before on your own, but that didn’t work
out so good.

Here's the second half.
HUGH

Who the hell are you? Has my wife been talking to
you? What has the little tramp been saying about me
this time?

SAMAEL

I know people. That’s my job. You said that "last
night was hazy." You said that you "didn’t remember
much" and that today "you have a headache." Sounds
like you lost your memory in a bottle or two...or
fourteen.

HUGH

That! That’s what I’m talking about. How would you
know that?

SAMAEL

Know what?

HUGH

Know exactly how many beers I had last night.

SAMAEL

One, two, or fourteen?

HUGH

You know damn well I had fourteen!

SAMAEL

Temper, temper. Don’t lose that temper of
yours. That’s another of your goals for today. Right?

HUGH

Are you a private investigator? No? Her lawyer? Is
that it? You are her lawyer and she’s been filling
your head with a bunch of stories...

SAMAEL

I am a lawyer of sorts, actually I am more of a
prosecutor.

HUGH

Lawyer huh. Hey bud, how many lawyers does it take to
screw in a light bulb?

SAMAEL

I don’t know, how many?

HUGH

Only one. If you have one lawyer you can screw
anything.

HUGH starts to exit again.

SAMAEL

Ha! That’s pretty good!

(Beat.)

Say...

HUGH stops moving but doesn’t turn back.

Did you hear about the man who used to beat his wife?

HUGH

(Pause)

No. I didn’t.

SAMAEL

She killed him in his sleep. Bashed his head in with a
hammer.

HUGH

Turns back toward SAMAEL.

That’s not funny.

SAMAEL

It’s a true story.

HUGH

When did it happen.

SAMAEL

Forty five minutes ago.

HUGH

Forty-five...how did you find out about it? Do you
have a friend in the police department who sends you
text messages or something?

SAMAEL

I know people.

HUGH

Right. You’ve said that.

SAMAEL

It’s funny, people build these houses -- these
shelters-- to protect themselves from other people...

HUGH

No. No. That is not the only reason why people build
houses. How about the weather? People build houses to
stay out of the weather.

SAMAEL

They need steel doors, locks and security systems to
keep them safe from the weather? Fine.

(Sarcastic)

So, they have this house with locks on every orifice
and a state of the art alarm system linked to a
security service...and then they get drunk and beat up
someone who lives inside of their locked house with
them!

HUGH

I suppose some people do.

SAMAEL

Oh yes. They certainly do. Do you want to know the
truly sad part?

(Beat)

The one they are abusing trusted them, loved them
maybe, at least at first, until the abuser got drunk
again and they got pushed and knocked around a few
times too many. I asked you earlier where trust has
gone. Sometimes, it gets beaten out of people.

HUGH

Who the hell are you?

SAMAEL

Who the hell indeed. You can call me Samael.

HUGH

Samuel...

SAMAEL

No. "Sam-Ah-El." It’s Hebrew. Want to know what it
means?

HUGH

(Mocking)

Well Sam-Ah-El, I couldn’t care less. I’m going.

HUGH starts to exit again, then pauses with a
confused expression on his face.

SAMAEL

Go on then. Don’t let me stop you.

(SAMAEL laughs at HUGH’s confusion.)

Go on, get the hell out of here.

HUGH

Cut out the laughing! Just shut up!

SAMAEL moves toward HUGH.

Keep away from me!

(HUGH grabs his head head in pain.)

Ahh! God! My head is killing me!

SAMAEL takes another step towards HUGH.

Keep away, I said!

SAMAEL

Whatever you say.

(Laughs again.)

Why don’t you tell me where it is you’re planning to
go?

HUGH

I...I’m...Where? I can’t think. I don’t know. I
can’t remember. Why can't I remember!?

SAMAEL

(Sardonically.)

What? You had all those big plans, all those things
you were going to do when you wake. Remember all those
big changes in your life.

HUGH

Who the hell are you?

SAMAEL

My name is...

HUGH

"Samael," I remember. What’s it mean in Hebrew?

SAMAEL

I like the way the Rolling Stones put it --the rock
group, not falling rocks-- "Guess my name..."

HUGH

Oh God...

SAMAEL

Not even close. Oh now wait a second. Literally my
name is "Poison of God." Let’s just say that the road
to where I live is paved with people’s "big undone life
changes." Changes they were going to make when they
wake, but the problem is, they never did wake.

HUGH

I can change!

SAMAEL

No you can’t. You don’t remember waking this morning
because you didn’t. Oh, and that watch of yours --I
mean the expensive work of art-- It’s not really on
your dresser. I lied about that. Your wife took it off your cold
limp arm around forty-five minutes ago. She's going to pawn it
later this morning. She needs getaway money.
She is planning to make some big changes in her life too.

HUGH

You’re a liar! None of this is true!

SAMAEL

I am a liar, but I did tell you one thing that was very
true...you should have quit drinking yesterday.

THE END

Any comments?

Just one - Brilliant.

No, loved it, my kind of pace and read you got me hooked. I'm glad you added the second half straight away otherwise I'd have been hitting the screen. I hope this piece goes further for you.

This was a really interesting piece of work. It had a very clear and enjoyable rhythm throughout the dialogue. The first half echoed "Waiting for Godot" in its general structure, which is neat, but should be approached quite carefully. I thought that it was going to go in a very different direction than it did - and I'm glad you didn't try to pull a Beckett over this.

I loved the way you integrated the idea of the houses to develop from one of a philosophical endeavour to a very personal source - very clever. I started to figure out what was going on once Samael made the wife killing joke - it was quite a disturbing side of the character (given, it was a disturbing subject matter). I do think that this disturbing side of Samael could be developed further. At the moment, the voices of Samael and Hugh are a bit too similar. Samael definitely is slower paced, but I feel he is lacking some depth. It would be interesting to see him slowly reveal a darker side to his character before we have the revelation of Hugh’s actions. He is the Angel of Death, no? This characterture has been done many times – why not give him a bit of an edge? This will also help deter cynical minds (such as mine) away from seeing the first half of the script as an overly ambitious attempt at a post-modern script - which it is not.

Also, although very minor, I need to point out that when Hugh says, “To hell with you mister” in the first act...I really disliked the use of the word “mister”. I felt it was a young person’s way of addressing someone, not to mention the fact that he has just been called a nasty drunk by this man – why does he have any respect for him at all? I don’t know, it just didn’t seem to be consistent with Hugh’s character.

I would also like to see more revealed about the kind of person Hugh is. Perhaps lead the audience down a different path – establish that this man was in fact successful, and the eyes of many, a moral man. If you wanted to explore the concept of abuse behind closed doors, it might be interesting to first explore what the rest of the world sees, and slowly reveal the darker side of it (which I think you have started to do). This is of course only if you wanted to extend the script, as it is quite short. There is a lot in there, and it would be great to see it pursued further.

Thank you for sharing

Thanks for your comments Sonofjoe, I appreciate the compliments.

Nightsarah, interesting take on the play. I saw a very good production of waiting for Godot recently. I think that I wrote this before going to that, but I was familiar with the play before as well. Mine begins almost counter to Beckett, with my character saying "Lots to do" where Beckett says "Nothing to be done."

Good spot on "Mister" someone else also told me that once. I think since more than one person have a problem with that, I need to make a change.

Thanks for reading!

Originally Posted by vangoghsear

I think that I wrote this before going to that, but I was familiar with the play before as well. Mine begins almost counter to Beckett, with my character saying "Lots to do" where Beckett says "Nothing to be done."

Interesting. May I ask why you have chosen to counter Estragon's words? It doesn't really seem like you are countering any of the existential philosophies in the piece...rather you seem to be somewhat adhering to them with your conceptualisation of the angel of death. Estragon statement completely encapsulates the fatalist philosophy....by countering this it almost suggests you are trying to create an idealistic refute to his work.

Just thought I'd provide a little dramaturgical POV there

My countering Beckett's statement wasn't intentional; I just noticed after you mentioned it . It's an observation after the fact. However, my character is dead and doesn't realize it, he believes his life has meaning found in the things he will do. Estragon is alive and searching for the point to it, or questioning if there is a point other than life itself. So, there is a strange sort of contrast in the character's belief and Estragon's statement.

Estragon statement completely encapsulates the fatalist philosophy.

It really does doesn't it. I saw the play with a director of a local professional theater company and I said to him, "That opening statement says it all."

You have an excellent feel for dialogue.

I was uneasy listening to Hugh wanting to move on and not doing so. As the Director, what motivation would you give to the actor to stand still and listen, when all the time he has somewhere to go? Later on I accept there is a mongoose- cobra reason, but at the beginning?

And again what motivation would you suggest for Hugh to blurt out, so early:

I decided today that I am going to make some changes in
my life.

For this to work (for me) they have to be obliged to stay together. There has to be a restriction imposed (not dustbins) on their movement, so that when one speaks the other has to hear it.

That’s where it is. It’s on your dresser. No one
stole it -- if that is what you are thinking.

I became aware of the parallel with 'Godot' at this ^ point in the script and wondered how it would develop. The honest answer is, not much. The dialogue is strong and flowing and more revelations are made, but it doesn't seem to change the dynamics of either of them individually or towards each other or did I miss something(s)?

I've just read my comments back and it sounds as though I didn't enjoy it - for the avoidance of doubt - I did. Super dialogue.

Thanks quertyman for your comments and suggestions. Glad you liked the dialog. I see your point about the need to superimpose a restriction requiring them to stay together. If I do anything more with this, I may make that change.

I made him blurt out about changing because I wanted it to feel like a cleansing moment for him. Once admitted, it's harder to go back. It shows his dedication to the desire to change.

Thanks again, good insights.