Thread: Murder In The Manor

This is a script I wrote about a year ago, and I wanted some opinions on it! It's a murder mystery, with plenty of plot twists! I hope you enjoy! I'll put up the first couple of scenes to start with:

Scene 1 - A New Assistant
(The tabs open to reveal a very busy office, with police men and women writing busily. DI Fisher is in the corner of the room, whilst the Superintendent is in a little separate area at the front of the stage along with DC Bennett. One of the officers walks up to DI Fisher.)

Officer 1 - The Superintendent would like to speak with you sir.

Fisher - Alright.

(He gets up lazily and walks over to the Superintendent's office.)

Fisher - You wanted to talk to me sir?

SI - Yes I did, DI Fisher. There's been a murder at Foghurst Manor. I need
you to find out who was the murderer and fast. I want you to head over
there as soon as possible.

Fisher - Yes sir.

(Fisher heads out of the office, but the Superintendent calls him back in.)

SI - Come back in here inspector. You didn't think I'd let you go in there
alone did you? I've got another assistant for you.

Fisher - What?! Even after last time?!

SI - Detective Constable Taylor was just inexperienced, that's all, whereas
your new assistant, DC Bennett, has already successfully solved two
murders since his promotion onto the force.

Fisher - Congratulations...

SI - And I'll have less of that too, Fisher. You're supposed to set an example
for the younger officers. Being sarcastic and pretending to be 'too cool
for school' will not work.

Fisher - Sorry Sir.

Bennett - It'll be a pleasure working with you sir! I can't wait to get started!

SI - That's the spirit, Bennett! Now off you go to Foghurst Manor, the
forensics team will be becoming impatient!

Bennett and Fisher - Yes sir.

(They both exit the office, and back into the working area. Bennett goes to his desk and retrieves all sorts of things. Pepper spray, a gun, paper, five pens, and much more. Fisher just has his notebook. He takes all of Bennett's stuff off him, and puts them back into the desk.)

Fisher - Now that's what all of the regular coppers use. For us detectives, all
you need is a pen, a notebook, and an eye for a murderer. Now let's
go find this killer.

Bennett - I've never been to a manor before!

Fisher - Just shut up and walk. And acting like a teacher's pet with the
Super Intendant won't get you anywhere.

Bennett - Sorry...

Fisher - Now come on. We've got a killer to catch.

(Exit Bennett and Fisher.)


Scene 2 - The First Interviews
(Close Tabs, and bring on the dead body of Lord Foghurst. Enter Forensics, who begin to examine him. The postman comes into the house, as Arthur Foghurst comes in from the other side.)

Postman - Morning, Arthur!

Arthur - Morning, Postie! Oh, I nearly forgot to say, tomorrow it is my
seventieth birthday party, and as you're a friend, you're invited to
my party! It's here, at seven o'clock.

Postman - See you then!

(Exit Postman and Arthur Foghurst, and Enter Fisher and Bennett.)

Fisher - So, what have you got for us today then?

Forensics 1 - Well, this is Lord Foghurst sir. At first we couldn't figure out
how he was killed.

Forensics 2 - But then we spotted the tiny puncture in his neck. His been
pierced by a poisoned dart, and that's how he died.

Fisher - Time of death?

Forensics 1 - About midnight last night, sir.

Forensics 2 - The dart probably took just a few seconds to kill him, sir.

Fisher - Thank you. Come on now Bennett, we've got interviewees to
interview.

(Exit forensics and the body, along with Bennett and Fisher. Then, the tabs open to reveal a simple interrogation room, with a small table in the middle, and a cassette player on the table. Bennett and Fisher re-enter, sit down on one side of the table, and press record on the tape player.)

Fisher - Can the first suspect enter the room please?

(Enter Vicar. He sits down.)

Fisher - Who are you?

Vicar - Why am I a suspect?

Fisher - Your name, please.

Vicar - I'm not answering anything until I find out why I am a suspect!

Fisher - Just because you wear a white collar and pray five times a day does
not mean that you can come in here and refuse to answer questions
from a chief inspector who is trying to solve a murder! Your name,
please.

Vicar - Reverend Jameson. I'm the local vicar if you must know, and I'm
here today because I have just been helping the Foghurst family to
come to terms with this death.

Fisher - Where were you at midnight last night?

Vicar - I can't believe you're even asking me this! I am a vicar at a church!
One of the ten commandments is 'Thou Shalt Not Kill'!

Fisher - Well have you heard of this commandment? 'Though shalt not beat
around the bush when it comes to a murder investigation'! Where
were you at midnight last night?

Vicar - I was at home, asleep in bed.

Bennett - Have you noticed anything abnormal in the family recently?
Maybe during their visits to church?

Vicar - No, not at all. They've all been as normal.

Fisher - Well if you do think of something, my office is always open. Even
on Sundays.

(The Vicar leaves in a mood, and soon the Butler enters.)

Fisher - Can you interview this one Bennett? I've got a headache.

Bennett - Your name please, sir?

Butler - Edmund Jenkins. I'm the Butler of this residence.

Bennett - Where were you at midnight last night?

Butler - I was in the servants headquarters, clearing up some paperwork. It
took me quite a while to finish, actually.
Fisher - Your telling me...

Bennett - Have you noticed anything strange about the family, or the
household in general in the past few months?

Butler - Well now you come to mention it, Lord Foghurst started acting very
strangely towards his wife a few days before he died. Could this be
of some significance?

Bennett - It could well be, yes. Thank you, you may leave.

(Exit Butler.)

Bennett - He was very professional about the whole thing.

Fisher - A bit too professional if you ask me.

(Enter Maid.)

Fisher - Who are you?

Maid - I'm Mary Sanders. I'm a maid who works at Foghurst Manor.

Fisher - Where were you at midnight last night?

Maid - I was finishing off cleaning the house. I went into the office to clean
there, and... there he was...

Fisher - What was Lord Foghurst like around his wife a few days before he
died?

Maid - Well, I had noticed that he had a different personality when he was
around his wife. He was quite argumentative.

Fisher - And did you happen to catch the subjects of these arguments?

Maid - No. I would never listen in to a conversation between a Lord and
Lady.

Fisher - Ok. Off you go.
(Exit Maid)

Fisher - She got very edgy when I mentioned the arguments. We'll need to
look into that.

Bennett - Yes sir.

(Enter Cook.)

Bennett - Your name please, madam.

Cook - Martha Williams. I'm the head cook here at Foghurst Manor.

Bennett - Where were you at midnight last night?

Cook - I was preparing today's dinner.

Bennett - Do you...

Fisher - What was the relationship between Lord Foghurst and the maid?

Cook - Awful. He treated her like a piece of dirt. She was scared of him.

Fisher - Interesting...

Bennett - Did the Lord and Lady Foghursts argue starting a few days before
he died?

Cook - Now you come to mention it, they argued a lot during the past few
days. I could never catch what it was about though.

Bennett - Thank you. You may leave.

(Exit Cook. Enter Lady Foghurst.)

Fisher - This should be good...
You're Lady Foghurst, right?

Lady - That's correct.

Fisher - Where were you at midnight last night?

Lady - In bed.

Fisher - What had you and Lord Foghurst been arguing about a few days
before he died.

Lady - Oh, just about decorating one of the rooms, nothing important.

Fisher - Right, you can go.

(Exit Lady.)

Bennett - That was brief.

Fisher - That's because she was lying through her teeth. We would have got
nothing out of her.

(Enter Arthur.)

Fisher - Arthur Foghurst, where were you at midnight last night?

Arthur - Asleep.

Fisher - And what had Lord and Lady Foghurst, your daughter-in-law and
your son, been arguing about starting a few days before the murder
took place?

Arthur - What arguments? There were NO arguments.

Fisher - Thank you. That's all I needed to know. Goodbye.

(Exit Arthur.)

Fisher - We need to find out what they were arguing about, and why are they
keeping it all such a secret.

Bennett - Yes sir.

(Exit Bennett and Fisher. Close tabs. Enter Arthur Foghurst with a table, with some papers, pens, etc. He sits down, opens an envelope, and reads what's inside. He then looks in complete shock, before he discovers that he's been punctured by a poisoned dart. He yanks it out from his neck, and then collapses onto the table. Blackout.)

Hm. The dialogue has a strikingly 40s American sound...yet you are from Wales? I can only assume you are a great big fan of film noir. It reads precisely like a detective drama from that era.

Funny, too, I like that. I laughed out loud several times. Go on, then, give us the rest of it. Out with it, now....chop-chop....

Haha I like it. The interviews are rather funny when read the way it's supposed to be read. Keep posting it please