Thread: The Immortal (short film script)

This is script for a very short film about two people playing a game of chess. I'm not sure about formatting (I will read up on that tonight).

INT. PDC, TABLE- EVENING

white: e4.

His eyes. From the board to his opponent.

black: e5.

HIM
You sure you don’t want that
handicap?

Her eyes. Piercing through him. Down to the board.

HER
How about I give you one?

white: f4

HIM
Provoking someone?
She glances outside.

HER
I have dinner plans.

A wry smile on his face.

black: exf4

HIM
There then. A gentleman always
obliges.

white: Bc4.

HER
This is chess.

HIM
And it works on a level beyond the
obvious.

black: Qh4+

HIM
That’s a check.

Water glass. He picks it up and brings it to his lips. His
eyes, pleased.

Her eyes, emotionless.

white: Kf1

HER
(while moving her King)
Patience, my friend, patience.

black: b5

HIM
(while moving his pawn)

I thought you had a dinner to go
to.

white: bxb5

HER
(handing him his pawn)

Not at your expense.

HIM
Maybe you should spare some of that
concern for yourself?

black: Nf6

white: Nf3

HER
Now why would I do that?
His eyes lose spark for the briefest of times.

black: Qh6

HIM
Because you have something to
prove.

white: d3

HER
Not necessarily. Why would you say
that?

HIM
Why else are we playing this game?

HER
I am not a feminist if that’s what
you think. I am not out to prove
how good women are at what they do.
That’s an exercise in futility.

black: Nh5

HIM
And how is that futile. Are all the
feminists running around engaging
in a useless cause? Doesn’t that
then prove the chauvinist point.

white: Nh4

A slight shake of her head, as if in dismay.

HER
Stuck in the same old rhetoric.
It’s such a useless debate that I
sometimes wonder at the intellect
of the human race.

His eyes, on the board, now her, now the board. Distancing
himself from the board, makes a dismissive gesture with his
hand.

HIM
Why don’t you enlighten me then,
Miss Aristotle? Or, if you prefer,
Plato?

HER
Black and white. You cannot compare
black and white. Black cannot
comprehend white. White cannot
comprehend black. For one to get
another, it will have to lose it’s
essence- the very thing that made
it what it was.

black: Qg5

HIM
But men and women are not black and
white.

white: Nf5

HER
Exactly. We share a lot in common
but a lot that is not in common.
This equality that we talk about,
is not empowering the women.

black: c6

HER
So you let us join your army- and
we happily join. Women empoweredfeminist
satisfied.

HIM
And what’s wrong with that?

HER
Nothing. If a woman wants to join
those institutions- let her. But by
defining that as true empowermentwho
are we fooling?

white: g4

HIM
So men are fooling the feminists?
Once again we are the bad guys.

HER
I never said that. We are all going
about it the wrong way. Things are
not changing for the better. At
best they will create new problems.

black: Nf6

HER
The feminist goals are not
empowering women, they are, in
fact, trying to... err... convert
women into men.

A sigh from her lips, as she moves back to sweep over the
board. Beat.

HIM
The feminists are at fault then?

white: Rg1

HER
I am sorry. What were you saying?

HIM
The feminists...

HER
(eyes on the board)
Umm?

HIM
(emphasis)
The feminists then, are they to
blame?

HER
Oh what makes you say that.

HIM
Simple.

black: cxb5

A semblance of a smile on her face.

HIM
We have been living this way for
thousands of years. There is
nothing wrong with the system. It
is working fine. It will continue
to work fine.

HER
(eyes on him)
Yeah?

HIM
Come out with me right now. I will
show you hundreds of women
satisfied with their lives, some
even happy.

HER
(musing)
Only some?

HIM
Trust me, they are no less than the
number of men actually happy with
their lives.

white: h4

HER
I see.

He immediately begins to make a move, checks himself, stops.

HIM
Heh, almost made a blunder.

black: Qg6

HER
(eyes on the board)
You fret too much. I would have let
you take back the move, you know.

HIM
How generous.

white: h5

HER
So you were saying?

black: Qg5

HIM
Yeah so why does everyone thinks
that men are happy with their
lives? You know we guys have to
sacrifice our dreams as much as you
girls have to.

Her eyes, from the board to him, attentive.

HIM
Family doesn’t just happen. You
make it happen. Sacrifices are
mandated. One has to give up her
dream of a career. The other has to
give up his dream and take up a job
with security. If you ask me, the
man makes a bigger sacrifice.

HER
Oh really?

HIM
Yeah. The woman only sacrifices her
dream. The guy not only does that
but also something that he would
never, ever, in a hundred years,
do.

HER
So you are fine with us women
taking the charge and letting you
do the nappies?

white: Qf3.

A smile on her face. His eyes, thoughtful.

HER
Why, did I surprise you?
A beat.

black: Ng8.

HIM
(a smile)
Nah. Sure you can take the helm. I
have no issues. Tea?

Cup, tea bag, water from the hot water dispensing machine.
Him, as he hands her the cup. He picks up his own. They
walk.

HIM
You know, sometimes I think how
this world would be with women in
charge?

HER
And images of a destroyed world
come to your mind?

HIM
No. Not that.

HER
Then?

He stops at the fridge, eying delectable offerings of cakes
galore.

HIM
You go ahead. I will join you.
An incomplete game of chess. The chair being pulled, the cup
being placed with the tea whitener besides it. And the cake.

HIM
Nothing.

HER
What?

HIM
Nothing is what comes to mind.

HER
What do you mean?

He tears the tea whitener with his teeth.

HIM
Things are the way they are for a
reason. Nature chose it to be this
way. No other way would have
worked.

HER
How is it impossible for you to
imagine a world different from
this?

HIM
(munching on his cake)
Think about it. Women have to bear
children. They cannot go out and
hunt in that condition. Men have to
do that. They have a natural
advantage. They capitalized on that
advantage. And...

HER
But...
He signals her to stop.

HIM
And, and if you have it the other
way round. If men were women and
women men, then I would be there
and you would be here, us having
the very same discussion- with me
bitching about Mascunalism or
something.

She takes a sip.

black: Ng8

HIM
That better?

HER
For the time being.

white: Bxf4

HER
But how are you going to build up
on that?

black: Qf6

white: Nc3

black: Bc5

HIM
(moving Bc5)
Slow and steady, as I get ready for
my kill.

white: Nd5

HER
Hasty as always.

HIM
WRONG!

black: Qxb2

HIM
Time for the kill.

She takes a sip. Takes a backseat. Her eyes, now on the
chessboard, now on him.

HER
You make a pertinent point. In any
case things would not have much
different than they are right now.
And I am not a sadist.

HIM
What is to be done then?

HER
Sacrifices.

white: Bd6

He smiles.

black: Bxg1

white: e5

HER
More than a few sacrifices

black: Qxa1+

HIM
I believe that’s a check.

HER
All hail the king, the king who
needs saving.

white: Ke2

His sips his tea. The smile ever wide on his face.
black: Na6

HIM
Watch me as I come for the final
touch down.

HER
What more symbolic than the queen
taking the king down?

white: Nxg7+

black: Kd8

white: Qf6+

HER
And does the queen take the king?

He sits back. Takes a sip.

black: Nxf6

HIM
(while making the move)
In what world... give it up, with
your queen goes your hope.

She sighs. Finishes her last sip.

HER
You are right.

HIM
So I win the bet?

HER
There is no point in arguing
against evolution. There is no
point in debating the intent of
mother nature. What was, was. It
happened.What is, is.

HIM
(pleased with himself)
Indeed.

HER
But tomorrow is uncertain.
His eyes shift to her.

HER
We will mold it- you men, us women.

white: Be7#

HER
Checkmate.

His smile vanishes.

HER
Women are not men. By trying to
become men we do injustice to our
very own kind. I do not need to
become you to beat you. Intellect
reigns supreme now.

She hands him his King.

HER
And I don’t need to cut or tie my
hair back for that.

HIM
Hey hey. I wasn’t playing serious
okay.

HER
(getting up)
Got nothing better?

HIM
I am serious.

HER
Those unwilling to try their best,
do not deserve to rule.

She picks up her phone.

Him. His half empty tea cup. His half eaten cake. She walks
away.

HIM
Hey, where are you headed?

HER
Dinner, remember?

HIM
(point to the table)
What about this?

She stops for a moment. She smiles.

HER
Start off with the pawns and make
your way to the Kings.

She walks away. He looks at the chess board. Then in her
direction. He smiles.

I like the idea, there were one or two places where I noticed slight niggles and the argument didn't seem "tight" enough at times. Numbering the moves would give a reference point for critique, I don't really know about formatting for film, I am curious whether the game came from? I haven't got a set out and looked at it yet and wonder how well it fits to the dialogue, sorry it's very late here and I am not going to do it now.

an interesting peice.
will be easier to read with the right formatting.

I know that many directors prefer to do their own take on the actions of the characters.
Leaving you to do just the dialogue.

I enjoyed the read and the freindly tension you created.

Good luck with it.
Would work well as a short stage play and perhaps easier to market this way.
the formatting is slightly different for stage though, so worth checking out both.

Thanks for the critique. Much appreciated.

Olly, the chess game was modeled according to the famous game (also called "Immortal Game") played in 1851 between Adolf Anderssen and Lionel Kierseritzky.

This is good, formatting made it a little hard to follow however. Here's a few things I noticed.

His eyes, on the board, now her, now the board. Distancing
himself from the board, makes a dismissive gesture with his
hand.

Here, don't use now all the time, his eyes on the board, then her, then the board

Having the word now confuses the stage directions. You do this a couple of other times as well.

A sigh from her lips, as she moves back to sweep over the
board. Beat.

A simple 'She sighs' is enough here. This isn't a novel, no one's going to be reading this they'll be hearing her sigh on film so there's no need for flowery language.

Little tips to help separate the language from the stage directions. One major one is try to make the stage directions stand out from the dialogue. There were a couple of times where I got confused what was being said and what was being instructed. I suggest italics or bold font helps with this. Also keep the stage directions simple but direct, actors will take a script and make it their own but if there is something that you want to particularly happen then make sure it's clear. The clearest way is to write it as simple as possible.

Overall I liked it, would like to read it again however when it's more clearly laid out so I can grasp the content a little easier.