Leonard D'eath

{The next day. All three lie by the cliff wall under money sacks. Gaunt wakes up slowly, yawning.}

Gaunt: Ach! My stomach yearns! I can hear my juices squabbling and churning, longing for some quiet flesh.

Cassius: {Also waking up} Gaunt, I smell your belly’s lust. Come! Roll up your trouser legs and we’ll stand in nature’s flow. No idle fish can escape these clamps. {He holds up his hands}

{The two of them roll up their trousers and stand in the water. After a few failed attempts
Cassius finally catches a fish.}

Cassius: Aha! I’ve got you now slipperfish! {The fish thrashes about} Oh please don’t squirm! Fish it seems are the only trophies that seek to flee their conquerors rather than revel in their glory.

{Swiftly and professionally he slaps the fish on a rock, killing it.}

Gaunt: Cassius that was a lightning strike! How violently you dashed his slippery life!

Cassius: {Laughing} And why do you cry? Have you lost your appetite?

Gaunt: Cassius my friend I love you dearly but please don’t fuck with my stomach. It rumbles like a frantic atom and I fear the worst should my skeleton lose control.

Cassius: Fret not worry belly! I’ll prepare it now.

{Cassius starts to carve the fish on a rock.}

Gaunt: {After a pause} Think you not Self’s snipes a little vicious last night?

Cassius: It ran through my mind, yes.

Gaunt: Have you nothing left to say? My eardrums still sting from his jealous rants.

Cassius: Gaunt, my friend, fret not. That stubborn campaigner won’t ever be seduced into saying it but his bones lust for civilization too. Such professional angst keeps dirt sidekicks for company and the biting speeches that nip you so have seized his tongue. Have faith enough to forgive him. Hush now, he wakens.
{Self has started to wake up and does so quietly, propping himself up on the ravine wall
he lights a cigarette and watches the others cook.}

Cassius: Another dawn good Self. I see you slept well. Must have been a gorgeous dream to absorb you so.

Self: {Shouting} Gaunt you bumblefool! Use not your yellow fingers to prise that fish. Many a quiet knife lie in the van, fetch them you scabby beast.

{Gaunt scowls but does as Self says}

Cassius: Self you viper, let that brainless child alone. I know his head is numb but none harm can it do.

Self: Oh, think you my jealous snipes a little vicious? You snake in the grass.

{Cassius is a little taken aback but now Gaunt returns with a knife and a money sack.}

Gaunt: Those rocks did snag my riverskin last night. We can use these as pillows. {He holds up the sack, clearly proud of himself}

Cassius: Noggin on Gaunt! {Rushing to help him carry the sack.}

Self: Yes good work, but meanwhile the sun turns our fish gangrenous. Rush to it with your dagger so’s I can suck at its lemonessence.

Gaunt: Self, arrest your tongue! Your quips minorize me! Every word of your lumbering dialogue fists my face you muscle bully.

Self: Aw pipe down! Your real teeth stick out like a weasel’s when you think I cannot hear.

Gaunt: What slander you chat! My secret speech with Cassius? I worry for you as much as me!

Cassius: Children, children your whining winds me up! I’ve known you birds since our fledgling flight and a merrycheeked road it’s been. My heart pains at the sound of your nippy bickering so please just stop! Our lives have tripped up together and so together we are roped. Let our tragic situation not fuck with our hearts for we will need to warn such broken bodies. Now peace. Hold hands.
{The two of them shake hands, Gaunt going over to Self and Self accepting it.}

Cassius: Sunshine. Now, the peel of that fish is zesting at my lips. I think we all are ready to eat.

{He brings all three pieces of fish and lays them on a rock near where Self sits. They all
sit down to eat, Cassius and Gaunt gobbling it down, Self carefully picking at it.}

Self: My how you gobblers gorge yourselves! You tear and thrash like ravishing lovers, licking and sucking the taste on you lips!

Cassius: Self you scientist, ingest that flavour don’t just vulturize it.

Self: Manners cost nothing and restraint forces dignity my friend.

Cassius: On the contrary manners cost plenty and yield nothing in an environment such as this. We are stuck Self, behind the prying eyes of the law, away from shackles and rules and class. We have fallen from grace with God, and in this place manners matter not.

Self: Aye, but wherever I go my body’s functions are subtle. You parade your squirming insides like some grotesque monster, whoring itself to uneasy eyes.

Cassius: Maybe but my senses roar with every lushus munch I take, rolling in the flavour’s curdle.

Self: But…

Cassius: But let us not bicker like hateful cousins. We must be brother’s here cast from society’s sturdy womb.

{By this time they have all finished. Cassius sighs.}

Cassius: There is little to do. These furtive fingers need occupation.

Self: Blanket up your quick little mind Cassius. Lets us three lie a while. Indulge in a dainty tip of tobacco. {He pulls out three cigarettes.}

Cassius: You’re right my friend. In such a heat we must relax.

Gaunt: Thank you Self. A light would not go unthanked for though.

{Self lights then passes it to Gaunt. All sit a while.}

Self: Noticed you my loss in deep fathomic dreams last night?

Cassius: Aye, a strange phenomenon I did think. For usually you plank on the floor and lie all stiff like a rigid stick.

Self: {After a pause} I saw a woman.

{Both Cassius and Gaunt giggle and snort.}

Gaunt: Call the camera press! Was it by any chance that same…expansive Spaniard you fondled just the other night?

Cassius: That flabby horse? Her teeth point so far they could poke your fucking eye out!

Gaunt: Imagine her {points at groin}

Self: Enough! {All laughter stops.} That girl was pretty hairy though.

{All crack up again. The lights slowly dim.}

lin

Assuming this isn't some prank....

This is not anything NEAR script format.
Why don't you look at some of the formats in the stick at the top of this section, then try formatting it the way screenplays actually look?

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