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The Cunninghams
Due to the fact that I'm practically joined to the hip with my boyfriend, I've decided to do a series of shorts (really short) based on some of of my experiences with dating a complete and utter nutcase... or is it the other way around? I've edited this for readability since it's out of format. Anyway, here's the first installment:
EXT. BENJI'S CAR. DAY.
Car is driving down US 41 on the way to Lafayette, Indiana. Benji, who is driving the car, pulls into a McDonald's on the side of the road. Shawn, also in the car, is mad, Benji is red.
BENJI
I fail to see the point in your whole little
(struggles)
escapade.
SHAWN
Whoo-hoo-hoo. Big word there, Benjamin. Did it hurt?
BENJI
Stop evading the question. It was a Dairy Queen Express
(pauses )
there was ice cream. What did you expect?
SHAWN
What kind of fucking restaurant doesn't have fucking salt packets? C'mon, Benji, you've got to side with me.
Benji pulls into the drive through, rolls down the window, and leans out to listen to the employee.
BENJI
I don't care.
EMPLOYEE
Welcome to McDonald's, how can I help you?
BENJI
(looks at Shawn and frowns)
SHAWN
(smirks)
Yeah you do.
EMPLOYEE
Hello... hello? Are you still there?
BENJI
What's that look for?
SHAWN
I'm not going to have sex if you insist on going against me.
BENJI
Now see here, I will not have you holding the prospect of being sexless over salt packets.
Employee, on the other side of the microphone, hears everything they are saying. She stifles a laugh.
SHAWN
You have no choice.
BENJI
(flustered)
One day you're going to wake up in hot sheets, cold sweat, dead grandma, and crying for your mommy because you couldn't spend one measly night with your boyfriend. Now what do you want from McDonald's?
SHAWN
(smiles)
A chocolate shake. Extra salt.
BENJI
(rolling eyes)
Chocolate shake... extra salt.
__________________
"Let me be mad! Chain me, ye furies, to your iron beds! And lash my guilty corpse, with whips of scorpion!"
- HWV 60
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