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Scripts & Plays Scripts, Plays, Movies etc.

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Old 05-30-2007, 08:54 PM   #1
Scribe
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Gender: Male
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Lost Kosmonaut is on a distinguished road
Homestay (drama film)

A brief synopsis (or what I have of it so far):

-exchange student in Japan
-leaves at airport emotionlessly (or emotions seem fake) with parents
-theme = running away from problems, but they stay with him even in Japan
-problems reccur in both Japan life and cross-ocean phone convos with family
-conflicts appear with first host family, so he transfers to another; conflicts with school, but no change
-second host family is great, falls in love with daughter
-only deep emotion (other than anger) he shows in movie is crying on the plane leaving-you get a sense that he's crying because he's sad for leaving, but also because he's happy in resolving his conflicts back home
-whole movie, only hear parents over the phone, then at the end you see them at the airport


And what I have of the script:


Homestay
by
Trace Myers

FADE IN:

INT. AIRPORT - DAY

Lobby, off to the side of security check. BRIAN (17) stands, wearing a backpack and holding a roller-bag, his MOTHER and FATHER directly in front of him. He is emotionless and they are distant with each other, paying minimal attention to BRIAN while ignoring the other's presence.

BRIAN
So... I'm going.

MOTHER
Alright sweetie, you be sure to call when you get there.

Father smiles subtly.

FATHER
Just hang in there, you'll be okay.

Mother's cell phone rings, she answers and turns away.

MOTHER
(on phone)
What? We can't, I told you that! ...Can't you just do it yourself? It's not that hard, Jonathan! Fuck!

Mother walks away, arguing on the phone.

Father turns to watch her, then turns back to brian.

FATHER
Think she'll be back?

BRIAN
Yeah, I dunno. I think I'm just gonna go.

FATHER
Good-byes are overrated anyway.

BRIAN
Yeah.

Brian flashes a half-smile and walks away.

Father (B.G.) raises arm as if to wave, but drops it and turns.

Brian goes through security check; when showing ID's, one of them is his passport. (slow-mo) Coming out of security, he b-lines it for the terminal, and slowly begins to smile as he walks.

Last edited by Lost Kosmonaut : 05-30-2007 at 10:07 PM.
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Old 05-30-2007, 09:24 PM   #2
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there's no plot here... what is this meant to be, a short or a feature film?

and your formatting is way off... nothing like a real screenplay... if you want help with this, send it to me and i'll show you how it needs to be written, plus help you develop a plot [as long as there's no violent content]...

here's a sample of what a real script looks like [can't show proper margin for dialog, so imagine it set in 3.0" on left and 2.5" on right:

Quote:
FADE IN:

INT. AIRPORT - DAY

Busy international terminal. BRIAN (17) stands in the middle of the flow with his pile of luggage, his MOTHER and FATHER next to him. He is emotionless and they are distant with each other, pay only minimal attention to him.

BRIAN
Alright, so... I'm going.

MOTHER
Alright sweetie. You be sure to call
when you get there.

FATHER
Just hang in there, alright?

Mother's cell phone rings, she answers and turns away from the others to answer it.

MOTHER
(on phone)
What? We can't...I told you that! Can't
you just do it yourself? It's not that hard,
Jonathan! Fuck!
too many 'alright's in there to be believable dialog... work on that...


love and hugs, maia
maia3maia@hotmail.com
__________________
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Last edited by mammamaia : 05-30-2007 at 09:36 PM.
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Old 05-30-2007, 09:48 PM   #3
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Join Date: Mar 2007
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Lost Kosmonaut is on a distinguished road
Feature. As for the plot, there's a general scheme explained above the screenplay. I just came up with it today, so it's very far from being a fully-fleshed out idea. I'd prefer to work with it situation to situation rather than get into too much detail right now, because I know I'm going to change it anyway.

Nothing like a screenplay, yes, yes. Thanks for your help, but do not expect me to sit down and learn all of this crap before I get to writing creatively. I'm learning along the way; and the only reason I'm learning it is because it appears I have to format it the accepted way before anybody will take it seriously.

And I did have the margins done correctly in my WP doc, I'm just not going to sit here on the forum and take the time to do what you did when apparently here it's no crime to let the dialogue run accross the page.

Last edited by Lost Kosmonaut : 05-31-2007 at 05:58 AM.
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