Short scene - Writers Forum

Bobber · 04-20-2007, 08:43 PM

It's like an opening scene of a sitcom (like Scrubs)

Untitled project

FADE IN:

INT. JOE & DRAKE’S LIVINGROOM NIGHT

JOE is sitting in an old couch, watching TV.
You hear the dialogue from the TV

KEANU REEVES
If we drive slower than 90 m/h this thing is gonna’ blow!

WOMAN
But Jack, we’re on a tricycle!

JOE turns off the TV.

JOE

They really should’ve stopped the series after the first one

JOE gets up and walks into his kitchen, and he opens the fridge.
Noise is heard from the cellar.
JOE opens the cellar door.

JOE

(shouting)
Drake?!

DRAKE
(from the cellar)

Yeah?

JOE
What the hell are you doing down there?

DRAKE
I’m building bunk beds

JOE

Bunk be..? Goddamnit, have you been watching Fight Club again?

SILENCE

DRAKE

No…

JOE
(sighing)

Get up from there

JOE goes back to the fridge and opens it.
DRAKE comes through the cellar door, wearing a belt with tools.

JOE
Is that what you’ve been doing all day?

DRAKE

Yup

JOE
Well… how far did you get?

DRAKE

Well… I never really got started

JOE
You’ve been down there for 15 hours

DRAKE

Yeah, well… I found all my tools, but then I got thirsty, so I had a beer… and then I kinda’ fell asleep.

Then I woke up some time later, and decided to get started.

But I banged my finger with the hammer, and the PAIN was so unbearable that I uhmm… I passed out I guess.

JOE

Yeah… good to see you spent your day doing something completely useless

DRAKE
Would you have it any other way?

JOE shuts fridge door

JOE

I guess I wouldn’t

FADE OUT:

int. title page.

Comments please

kaytea111 · 04-20-2007, 11:08 PM

thats sooo good

heatherlouise · 04-21-2007, 10:44 AM

lol, very funny, although i would like to read more of it, there doesn't seem to be much there.
Heather

mammamaia · 04-21-2007, 07:22 PM

if you want to write for tv, you'll need to study proper sitcom/tv format... this isn't even close to it, sorry to say... get trottier's 'screenwriter's bible'... he gives good examples/instructions on how to do it, in the tv section...

Kimba · 04-25-2007, 06:59 PM

Beware of copyright.

mammamaia · 04-25-2007, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Beware of copyright.

meaning what?... that little bit of quoted dialog from a kr flick?... if so, i doubt this writer will get in trouble with this little bit of nothing, but it's certainly something writers need to be aware of... you can't use others' copyrighted material in your own writing, without permission...

wmd · 04-28-2007, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mammamaia

meaning what?... that little bit of quoted dialog from a kr flick?... if so, i doubt this writer will get in trouble with this little bit of nothing, but it's certainly something writers need to be aware of... you can't use others' copyrighted material in your own writing, without permission...

exactly.. the little bit of "speed" dialogue was actually parodied so it is okay. He should just use MAN as the character saying it rather than actually use Keanu's name. Just to be safe.

And saying the title "Fight Club" does not infringe on any copyrights... I think.

mammamaia · 04-28-2007, 07:05 PM

you're correct... a title can be quoted w/o permission... but not actual dialog...