Girl With A Red Flower In Her Hair - Writers Forum

saintoflight · 02-10-2006, 08:41 PM

Girl With A Flower In Her Hair

ACT ONE: Scene 1

Jessica is sitting on a wooden bench with paint peeling and dried bird poo outside of a
classroom. Her bag is on one side of her, a stack of books sit on the other. She wears a
pale blue blouse, a grey skirt and a red flower in her hair. She sits cross legged, with a
book entitled "The greatest artists of our time" propped up in her hands. A cleaning lady
wearing a black skirt and top walks by, Jessica appears completely unaware of her
presence. The cleaner stops three feet off, turns stares at Jessica in disbelief and then exits
stage. Jessica looks up from her book, staring at the audience.

Spotlight on Jessica.

Jessica: I think I am but a ghost to her, a past student from long ago, perhaps?
(a hint of suggestion in an otherwise indistinguishable tone)
Lurking in the shadows of a once blissful place?

A school bell rings marking the signal for young men and women in blue and grey to
litter the stage with their laughter. Jessica remains staring through the people at the
audience, her head tilted slightly. They exit the stage as Jessica comes to life.

Jessica: But I'm not, I'm not a ghost, I'm nothing.

Spotlight on Jessica fades out whilst, spotlight on man, Upstage left brightens.

He is young, unshaven, rather handsome and carries a book and folder under one arm. He
begins to walk down stage, spotlight on Jessica lightens up. Jessica is once again
immersed in her novel. He stops besides her.

Man: You're here early?

Jessica: (Without looking up) I noticed.

Man: How come?

Jessica: How come I noticed? (with a slight smirk and a sideways glance)

Man: (returns the grin) How come your here early?

Jessica: (makes eye contact with the man, for the first time, she gives him a piercing
look, yet states clearly) I live out of town.

Man: Don't you have anyone you could stay with? In town, I mean?

Jessica: My Grandmother welcome's me, but I'm afraid of the wolf.
(he smiles, she doesn't)

Man: See you later Little Red Riding Hood
(he exits stage, she turns back to her book at first she looks nonplussed, but then a grin
slowly emerges. Lights fade out)

Scene 2

Doctor's surgery

Spotlight on Jessica

Jessica sits on the bed shirtless, the flower is gone from her hair. The doctors back is
turned, hidden in the shadows. . She looks pale. Her shirt sits on the bed next to her.

Jessica: He took a sample from my breast and told me I have cancer (roles head back,
eyes searching) Cancer... cancer... cancer... (looks back at audience) what do you say to
that?

Doctor: I'm sorry Jess (pats her on the back, in an awkward pause)
we'll start the kemo right away. (pause)
You can put your shirt back on now
(he turns away from her again, she puts it on)

Jessica: (looking certain) No thanks.

Doctor: (turning back around to face her) I beg your pardon?

Jessica: (looking him in the eye) I don't want the kemo
(gets off bed and walks straight of stage, leaving the doctor speechless, the lights dim out)

Scene 3

Return to set of scene one.

Jessica is sitting on the bench with the same cross legged pose, with a book in her hand
and a Red flower in her hair. The man enters the stage and greets her warmly.

Man: (grinning) Hello stranger
(Jess leaves her nose in the book, with no sign of hearing him.
He begins to look apprehensive)
Man: How was your weekend?
(He stands still in a freeze frame as a spotlight is on Jessica. She looks up from her book
and stares at the audience)
Jessica: I have cancer... cancer... cancer...
(her head roles back in thought and she appears to be asking god)
What do you say to that?
(she stares back at the audience as the man is brought back into the light)
Fine (she replies darkly)
(He leaves frowning, she looks blankly at the book, lights fade out then a spotlight
brightens on Jessica)
I am but a ghost to me.

cliched523 · 02-11-2006, 10:00 PM

Wow, that was really good. I kind of feel that in a way I am like her, but I know I'm not. I am learning to become a normal person to me, though.

saintoflight · 02-15-2006, 03:07 AM

wow 27 people have checked the play out one person comments. Thanks for that too by the way, damn the rest of you people.

BallerGamer · 02-18-2006, 01:21 PM

I liked this one too, keep up the good work!

saintoflight · 02-18-2006, 05:38 PM

Thankyou muchly. I was thinking about entering in for a competition but I don't know all the conditions for entries yet, but I will find out.

Le Fantome de L`Opera · 08-04-2006, 12:02 AM

That was stunning. It reminds me of the kind of stuff i write. When I first started reading it I thought oh god, another after school special about a girl who doesn't fit in, but it turned out to be a really deep and thoughtful piece. Tres bien.

saintoflight · 08-04-2006, 02:55 AM

thanks.

Sigur Rós · 08-09-2006, 03:26 AM

Don't you hate how there's no good word for poo?

I loved the play, it was fascinating and would be great to see on a stage. Good job!

saintoflight · 08-10-2006, 12:30 AM

ha ha yea thanks. The first idea for the play came from my experience when I used to have to get up early and my mum would drive me into to town and drop me off at school for early extension literature lessons before going off to work. It was so early when I'd get there that nobody but the cleaners were there yet and I'd sit trying to avoid the bird doo and read a book. My Grandma told me I could go to her house in the mornings if I liked but it cost a fortune to get the taxi to the school for the lessons twice a week so I'd just go early instead. It was around about this time that I went to the doctor to get a lump from my breast removed and sent away for testing, fortunatley it wasn't cancer or anything to worry about. But I truly feel sorry for those people who do have cancer. One of my best friends' mum died from breast cancer the year before. I'm just glad that I was so fortunate there are many who are not so lucky. That is why prevention is so much better than cure. Thanks for your comments.

ernieweaselfat · 08-16-2006, 02:02 PM

Hey Saintoflight,

Not really my cup of tea to be honest. It sounds like you're trying to write a poem, rather than a play. Personally, I prefer plays where the characters say things that you would actually hear them say in real life. The "I have cancer, cancer, cancer... I am but a ghost to me" is something you would never actually hear someone say.

A couple small technical things: you're giving the actor too much direction. Things like " (a hint of suggestion in an otherwise indistinguishable tone)" should be kept to a minimum. Let the actors act.

Also, "Man: You're here early?" shouldn't be a question. Aussies and Canadians (like myself) are horrible for turning statements into questions. It doesn't work on stage, eh?

As I mentioned before, it's not my really my kind of play. Having said that, you probably didn't write it for thirty-something men so please take my comments with a grain of salt.

saintoflight · 08-18-2006, 03:22 AM

Hey, you don't have to like it that's cool. I appreciate your comment all the same. To be honest I don't like it completely either, so whatever. Thanks!

saintoflight · 08-18-2006, 03:25 AM

that's cool thanks heaps for the comment