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I really liked your writing style and found the concept to be quite unique. It's amazing how my brain was able to follow both conversations at the same time. However, I personally think that her dream could have had more description. It seemed like she was saying the same thing repeatively. Can't wait to read more!
Umm.. just a tip, but you probably should have hit the reply button rather than the post Don't worry too much though. We were all newbies at one point.