The Restaurant- A Play - Writers Forum

Vixen · 08-04-2004, 05:07 PM

The following is the first of three acts. Please give me any reactions, insights, wuestions, or critique you may have. I will post the second two acts if I get enough response to this one. P.S. For those of you unfamiliar with scripts and screenplays, a beat is aproxiamately the amount of time it takes a thought to register. It is a writer imposed dramatic pause.

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Scene 1

The Scene; A small high-class restaurant. There are three tables, in a rough triangular orientation. At the foremost table there is a young man, a boy really, he is evidently waiting for someone. His menu lies open, and the breadbasket at his table is nearly empty. Behind, to his side, a man and a women converse at the table farthest from the door.

Woman- I had a dream last night that I’d wanted to tell you about.

Man- I thought you said you didn’t slept last night.

Woman- I did. But. I, Well, I suppose I must have slept at some time last night, for I dreamed.

A waiter or waitress comes to the young man’s table. The voices of the man and women fade behind anything said by the young man, or those speaking to him.

Waiter- would you like a drink or something now, to start off with?

Young Man- this water is just fine. Thank you.

Waiter- Al-right, could I interest you in an appetizer?

Young Man- No, Not yet. (takes last bit of bread) I could use some more bread though.

Waiter- yes sir.

Woman- The shadow, a man, stood behind me. I could feel him coming closer, but I was incapable of turning, or looking at him, except from the corner of my eye.

At that instant, A Girl, about the same age as the Young man, enters. The Young man starts, and sits up in his seat.

Girl- (without sitting down) Well, I’m here.

Young Man- I thought you’d never come.

Girl- I almost didn’t.

Young man- What do mean? Was there traffic, or something?

Woman- He pushed me, I grabbed for something, but my hand-

Girl- No. There was no traffic. I did not want to come today. I just really didn’t.

Beat

Young Man- It’s al-right. You’re here now. I told the waiter to hold off until you came, but I’m afraid we’re fresh out of bread. At least for the moment.

Girl- You don’t really understand.

Young Man-( gets up, pulls girls chair out,)

Woman- I was grabbing for something, anything, a moment more

Young Man- Please Sit down.

Girl- You don’t understand.

Young Man- No. I do. Please, sit down. It’s not very late.

Girl- bBt I am so late, it must have felt like forever.

Boy- It was only five past half an hour.

Girl- I can’t stay.

Boy- what? But why?

Woman- I was falling, falling.

Girl- I don’t intend to stay. Not here. Not with you.

Woman- And then, in one terrifying instant, it was as though gravity had reversed itself.

Young Man- Is there someone else?

Woman- I falling again, towards the clouds, and it seemed it would not be the ground that would kill me...

Girl- No. What do you think I am? Do you think it would be better if that was what this is?

Woman- but the sky.

Young Man- Lisa. Please. Just sit down, at least try to have a rational conversation with me.

Girl- No, I have to go. I’ll call you, maybe I’ll call you if you still have to talk.

Young Man- No. I’d rather see you face to face, even if it means,… this.

Girl- I can’t I won’t. I’m so tired of this. I’m so tired of you. We, we have gone no where, we have lost so much more than anyone should have to. I can’t stand this, I can’t talk like this. I have To go! Can’t you understand that, I have To Go!

Girl moves rapidly towards entrance,

Young Man- Lisa, No! Listen to me,

She opens the door.

Young Man- Lisa!

Exit Lisa.
The door slams.

Young Man- I love you.

The young man goes towards the door. Turns back, pulls out his wallet, throws the entire wallet to the table.

Young Man- Nothing is ever as it seems.

Exit Young man.

Man- Did you land?

Woman- No, I just fell into another dream. I was in a restaurant. There was a young man, I think he was waiting for someone.

Man- Yes, andWhat happened next?

Woman- This girl, she showed up, she was very cold, I couldn’t tell why, but she was breaking up with him. He loved her. She left him. It’s funny, I was thinking about it all day, even just now when I told you that other dream. It seems, very real to me. What do you think that means?

Man- I don’t know enough to tell you yet. This boy, what did he look like?

Woman- He was just like, just like. Oh, don’t make me cry right now, don’t. I can’t talk about this yet.

Man- Marie. It’s O.K. we only have 5 or 10 minutes left. We can just talk about whatever makes you feel comfortable. Tell, me, you said these dreams seem more real to you, what did you mean?

The man shifts in his chair, revealing the clipboard on his leg. The woman walks to the table.

Woman- Like right now. I know I’m in your office, but I can see it.

She places a hand on the table.

Woman- I can almost feel the table. I can almost feel their table.

Fade to Black, End Scene 1

penny · 08-04-2004, 08:20 PM

Great concept.

It's hard to critique a small portion of a play. The real gift for those that are reading the entries in this subject is to watch the process of playwriting.
I like the idea of the woman being there and not there. I was a bit confussed at first.
I offer an idea, mostly just in blocking.
Have the first woman be onstage-you could have her talking to herself or the audience first. Then have the young man enter stage and interact with her. The audience then is led by the blocking as well as the plot element.( dreams in dreams?)When the second women enters and begins the breakup the first woman's non-stop monologue would then seem even more surreal.
One persons thoughts.
Can't wait for more Thanks

Vixen · 08-04-2004, 10:08 PM

Actually, I have some interaction between the young man and the woman in the second act. Thier relationship is extremly important by the third act. Also, the Man with the clipborad is vital.

I considered blocking as you mentioned, but I wasn't willing to plunge the audiance dirrectly into the sureal. (The way it is written is difficult for timing, but I find that with enough rehersals, it can still pick up a sureal, odd commentary sort of pace.)

I think I'll post that second act tommarow, thankyou for your feedback.

penny · 08-04-2004, 10:54 PM

I was watching an old movie "The Thing"
The director used an ensemble -style in rehearsing his plays and film. That style was revolutionary in the fifties. He wanted to have the dialogue jump and flow, where the actors start and finish over each others lines. He felt that it made the audience participate in the dialogue by being forced to actively listen. All in the timing. In 'real life', of course, we interupt and finish each others thoughts constantly. .
I see it working here. It would be entertaining to be in the audience.
I'm expectant now as to where you will take this

silverwriter · 08-13-2004, 10:28 AM

Wow. I'm very impressed and I like the way you plotted the scene out. I don't know what you're planning to do with it, but just make sure you don't have any typos if you send it in to the publisher. I'd really like to see where this goes.