Thread: Character journal

May 14th 1992

I have done something inhuman. I cannot tell a soul. To tell would change their perspectives of me forever. Everytime their eyes fall upon me,
their minds will see the secret that no longer is, but instead, a taboo existence that shall never perish. If there is a heaven, I don't want everyone knowing. I can't have them see this. I never thought I was capable. I cannot compare what I have done with others. This affliction is not normal.

Some days I can weather without a thought about it.
Some days I need to kill myself.
But can't.

1990's

I thought i was a normal person. But i'm not. I lived through so much pain, suffering, and arguments. I can't believe i'm alive. Back in the 90's i was young. I lived with my step-dad, mom, and my brother. My dad was verbally abusive to my mom and I. My brother was not even born yet. I got teased alot and yelled alot too. I remember how many kids teased me about everything. My parents never knew how bad i felt. I was the strong person though i kept it inside. I cried many times. I felt like i disappointed my dad alot. But he was the one that disappointed me. I thought he didnt love me. He scared me more than i can recall. I also had backstabbing friends who i thought would be there for me but they werent. I was learning disabled as well. It made life so hard. I went in and out of church all my life. I never stayed though. My grandparents were christians though.