Thread: finish this

once upon a time there was a boy named john who lived by a bog. one day in a fog he drowned when no one was around. then one day he came back as

a great big orange orangutan. He was captured () by the zookeepers. So he now lives in the zoo, when he got there...

the zookeeper gave him a bath, and found a glowing stone in his fur. It then spoke in soft words. John heard it say..

Then it started singing....

"Did you write the Book of Love
And do you have faith in God above
If the Bible tells you so
Do you believe in rock n' roll
Can music save your mortal soul
And can you teach me how to dance real slow
Well, I know that you're in love with him
'Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym
You both kicked off your shoes
Man, I dig those rhythm & blues
I was a lonely, teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died"

the zookeeper was confunded by this and...

Decided that he must eat John to absorb his knowledge. He prepared a pot of boiling water when....

-Bryce out

suddenly the wind picked up, "strange" he thought, "this feels rather strong for a sudden gust"

the gust nearly blew him away. then he all of sudden he died again just to come back as a

...nazi, hell bent on world domination. John captured a small african country, rallied it's forces, and....

sent them to war, in the wrong direction

The army decided to mutinee (SP?) against him so they took back their country and killed him. He went to hell and was told....

that to get to heaven , he must go through the trials of damnation

so he nodded, grabbed a nearby trident and ran over the the first trial. He saw that a giant wild boar was ready to gut him. So he fought it and suddenly

and suddenly he died again. but this time he came back as a tiger bent on killing all humans. but the tiger soon came to love humans and hence forth

But unfortunately as he grew to trust humans, the stinking mammals tricked him into eating poisoned meat. So he died and learnt to never ever trust a human ever again. SO he goes back to hell and this time tries the second task of damnation. He has to look at a jam doughnut and not eat it for a whole day, and he got no other food....

Needless to say he failed, so the Devil tortured him and made him....