Thread: Fight Scene!

In 500 words write and in a serious fashion write a story about a fight over something absolutely absurd between you and your signifigant other.

The can of Pepsi exploded in a mist of froth and sugar.

I exploded. I was covered from my neck down to my toes. Last night she put all of my peas in her mouth before putting them on my plate and serving me. I was fed up.

"Goddammit Glenda! What have I told you about shaking the soda before bringing it to me? Huh?" I was furious. Glenda had a nasty habit of doing passive aggressive things that could never be pinned on her.

"I...I...I didn't. I swear Paul. Why would I do that?" Glenda asked nervously. I could see her lips trembling. She made me sick.

"The next time this happens I'm going to break my foot off in your ass!"

Maybe I had gone a little too far with the last. "Fuck you Paul! I put up with your shit day in and day out and I don't say one cross fucking word. Well you know what, screw you!"

I stood up and got up in her face. "Here!" I snarled pouring the foaming soda down her cleavage. "I'm sick of this crap."

Her eyes widened. She spit in my face. I slapped her. She slapped me back. I threw down onto the couch. Her dress clung to her cleavage and despite being angry I was getting aroused.

Does it have to be exactly 500 words or can it be more?

Just a guideline. Can I really come over and twist your arm if you use more than the allotted words, no. Its just an exercise and for fun. Something to get juices flowing.

I could hear her. She chewed her gum like the gum was her cud. How disgusting I thought. She would grind it between her teeth and then open her mouth slightly between each chew making a horrible smacking sound. Of course this wasn't what angered me, no.

She blew a large bubble. She kept puffing air into, daring the bubble to burst. The bubble grew bigger, the gum expanded and stretched taut.

"Goddammit woman! I told you how I feel about you chewing green bubble gum."

Promptly, the bubble burst. She had let the bubble grow too large, flecks of gum spattered her golden hair and tangled. She picked pieces from her perfect cheekbones and from the tip of her button nose.

She made the Yak-Yak-Yak gesture with her hand.

I flew up from my la-z-boy recliner, so plush, and got right up in her face.

"How dare you bring green bubble gum into MY house!" I screamed. I was infuriated. She looked at me, bored, she held her hand out and checked her red nails, tapped her foot. To her this was another rant. She knew this woud push my buttons. I knew she was doing this to push my buttons, and still the bored look pushed my buttons.

"Gimme the gum! Gimme the gum!" I yelled, specks of spit flew from my mouth. I was reaching my greasy, meaty fingers into her mouth. Now she wasn't so bored. She was panicking. My large hands were pulling her jaw this way and that. She started to struggle.

She was saying something, a lot of things actually, but between the gum and my hands she couldn't be understood.

"I tell you over and over and over that bringing green gum into my house is disrespectful and still you insist on doing it. This time I've had it. Spit it out or I'm throwing your skinny ass out!"

That was when she bit me. I pulled my hand away and cursed. She blew another bubble. I punched her in the nose.

The cops didn't have too much choice. Our phone was covered in blood, she was battered, and I was breathing hard.

To my relief the guy who took my mug shot was chewing red gum.

"So this is it then," Ben announced dramatically slamming a heavy fist on the large oak table.
"It's either you or the end of this band," Danielle said calmly staring at her chipped black fingernail polish.
"Well then I guess it's going to have to be me since none of you," He paused staring around the table at his fellow bandmates, "can seem to deal with my eating habits".
"C'mon, man, it's not about the Doritos," Rocky murmured, eyes full of tears.
"Then what is it then, Rock?" Ben snarls, spit sliding down his lips and entangling in his blonde goatee.
"Leave him alone," John barks crossing his arms. The spikes of his bracelet pokes his pale flesh causing him to wince. He quickly hides the mask of pain with a long yawn. "Just because you were on Survivor you think that you're more famous than us!"
"Dude, he wasn't on Survivor," Will snorts with a smirk, "He was on What Not to Wear". The band stares at Ben's outfit. His beer gut was somehow squeezed into a size medium black t-shirt that read Got Milk? with two double d's in a cow patterned bra. His white trash jeans with splattered red and white paint are nearly ripped to shreds, showing of his cream colored thighs.
"That's so disgusting," Danielle muttered, crossing her arms.
"See? This is why we can't be a real band! You all attack me just because I want things that we could never reach before. And now since we're famous, we can and you're all runnin' scared!" Ben yelled, his voice shaking the chandilier.
"Whatever man, you're just trippin off those doritos," Will accused giving Ben an evil glare. "Not our fault that you're having cravings like a middle aged woman."
"It's not like it's my fault some thief took the last bag! Now I'm going to starve because some big shot thought it'd be funny to watch me freak out over a bag of chips," He yells face flushed and vibrantly red. Suddenly a knock on the door is heard.
"Come in," Danielle says quietly, pinching the skin between her eyes. Beth, the make up artist, walks in absentmindedly. In her hand is a bag of Doritos, shining brilliantly under the chandelier. She plucks a crimson chip out hanging it daintily above her open mouth. She drops the chip as it lands on her open tongue like a snowflake.
"What's the ruckus?" She giggles, her teeth stained orange.
"Beth, what are you doing?" Ben asks waltzing up to her. She gives him a confused look as she licks her fingertips.
"Um, just seeing what's up".
"No, I mean why are you eating those?"
"Because I'm hungry".
"Oh, okay. So like what if someone had paid for those Doritos, someone like me. And that someone has recently quit smoking crystal meth and now uses Doritos as a substitute. Would you take those chips from a homeless person? No, you wouldn't. What about a former addict? Hmmm? Well, yes you would because you're a heartless wench who has never had food stolen from them because by the size of you, it looks like they wouldn't have time to touch the food because your fat ass would have already eaten it!"
"I'm sorry what? I listening to my ipod," She grins plucking the white ear buds from her ears.


sorry for errors. i'm too lazy to check.