Thread: Loveable Villains

This is an interesting exercise I came across:

Think of the worst person you've met, or make up some horrible (or at least unlikeable) person. Give this character one redeeming quality, and write a passage (or full story if you like) about this person.




My response to the challenge:

Bill massaged his knuckles in an attempt to work the soreness out of them. That kid … why couldn’t he just turn over his lunch money? Things would have gone easier for him if he had. He turned as his mother wheeled into the living room. “Hey Mom, everything OK?”

“Just fine dear. Have a good day at school?” Ms. Klein greeted Bill with a warm smile.

“Yeah, it was alright. Kinda boring, though,” Bill said as he scratched at the back of his head.

“Oh, thank you for putting the trash out last night.”

“No problem Mom. Oh, reminds me, I have a little something for you.” Bill pulled a silver necklace out of his book bag.

“Oh, thank you, it’s so wonderful!” she beamed at him as he clasped it around her neck.

Bill shrugged his shoulders. “No biggie.” It had cost him most of last week’s “earnings,” though. “I just thought it would look good on you.”

Sounds fun.

--

The moonlight was all but entirely eclipsed by the deep gray clouds of the night. A desolitary wind blew in bitter gusts that brought movement to the hanging fabric of his coat. The alley pavement was a miriad of gray black shades, where the light brought sight or lack thereof to the curves of the cobbles. Across such a cold floor ran in the tiniest trickles tributaries of blood. Deep red streams criss-crossed the cobbles, meeting into rivers at the paving, and pooling in lakes in minor indentations and potholes. The Duke could see numberous bodies silhouetted against the single street lamp which lay at the alleys far distant opening. The black of the night consumed the larger part of his figure. Had there been an observer, they might have caught a glimpse of finely tailored riding boots, and the gentle swirl of his crimson cloak beneath the encompassing shadow. They might have caught a glimpse of his pocket watch as he toyed listlessly with it, and would have certainly seen the brief flash of red as he relit his cigar. Slowly, The Duke sheathed his long rapier, and brushed back his curling hair. He adjusted his waistcoat, took a puff on his smoke and stepped cautiously over the corpses of his former adveseries.

Redeeming qualities seem to fail to actually do any redeeming in the eyes of the hateful.

It doesn't necessarily need to actually accomplish any redeeming. Just a trait that shows that the character isn't all bad. In reality, it's really hard to think of someone who doesn't have a good trait or two hidden away somewhere, no matter how malicious or evil they otherwise seem. Adding a good attribute to a villain doesn't make them any less a villain, just more realistic.

I'll give it a try:

It was late, for the snow piled high by now. Nonetheless, Omenis would not be deterred. He brushed the snow from his leather coat and pulled at his dark gloves. Smiling faintly, he studied the vacant streets. No one appeared to be outside, but he knew that a man lurked nearby. He could sense the fear.

Omenis took one step forward and then stopped. He abruptly turned around to face the weary-eyed man in the alley. Smirking, he removed the sword from his belt and said, "Tired of running already?"

"Listen, I committed no crime," the man stammered.

"So, you don't consider lying a crime?" Omenis pressed. "Lying to your monarch about important issues such as financial matters?"

"I wasn't lying! I just made a mathematical error."

The boy laughed and retorted, "Mathematical errors are unacceptable."

All at once, the man realized his fear of pain and dying. He was speechless and grasped for words to say. What could he say that would prevent his death? Nothing. So, he thought of running but found that he could not. He was absolutely mesmerized by those sadistic red eyes.

Too enchanted that not a last word was uttered.

Omenis looked down at the cringing man and smiled. He raised his sword and, within minutes, the man was dead. Crimson blood collected underneath the victim's body in a puddle beside a lifeless head.

"My job's disgustingly boring," the boy remarked. Then, he gazed at the sky and noted the time. He cursed at his insolence and used his inner ability to teleport to a rainy city.

His heart pounded nervously with every step. He hastily cleaned his sword and concealed it underneath his long jacket. His eyes searched for a brown-haired girl with blue eyes. At last, he found her waiting patiently underneath a lamp post. He rushed forward and anxiously ran his hand through his blond hair.

"You're late," the girl remarked, frowning. "I was worried. Where were you?"

"I'm sorry, very sorry," Omenis stammered. He took one of her hands and kissed it. "Please forgive me? You're more important to me than anything else, my love."

She smiled warmly in return.

Omenis placed one arm around her waist and led her inside the corner cafe, away from the cold rain.

------

I'm not sure if this works at all But if it doesn't, I'll edit it again later. It's late, and I haven't written about this character in such a long time.

~Csira

She halted as the figure moved from the doorway; it turned and moved toward the end of the hall, apparently not noticing that they were not alone.
She watched as it disappeared into the exact room she needed to go into. Sighing slightly, she leaned against the doorframe and waited…

After a short time, the room was vacated and the figure had moved on, she ventured forward into the room and looked around.
There on the wall, was a small cupboard; she would try her luck in there. Slowly she slid open the tiny door, wincing as it made the most awful noise, and looked inside. ‘Damn’ she muttered, ‘Where are they?’
She left the room, leaving everything as she had found it, and made her way into the main room of the building. Her eyes lit up as she saw a jacket thrown on the back of a chair, she picked it up and went through its pockets, she came across a man’s wallet and drew in a shaky breath. ‘Please be in here, please…’ she opened it up and took out what she was looking for.

Outside she almost skipped down the steps; she was greeted by a young man. ‘What took you so long? I thought they might have got you’
‘Relax Dave, I had to find it first’ she carried on walking away. ‘There wasn’t any Asprin in the bathroom so I went through a pocket, I sure am glad people don’t lock their houses up at night around here, come on, I’m feeling better already, lets go to the park!’

i hope this doesn't offend anyone... it's part of the story I'm writing about these characters. I'm not trying to argue that the Devil is in any way good, but rather, I'm tracing his transformation from God's right-hand man to the Epitome of Evil.

*~*~*~*

Lucifer cracked his knuckles gracefully, for although the cracking of knuckles was not a very graceful act, he did everything gracefully. “Well, well, well, Mephistopheles... you seem to have found us a good place. A small pocket of the universe... a sanctuary from the sanctus... a citadel for the denizens of hell... hmm that’s a good one... a place to hide from angel’s eyes, oo even better...”

“Geez, there he goes again.” Mephistopheles rolled his eyes contemptuously. “Bloody poet.”

“Very bloody,” Mahu agreed.

“Very very bloody,” Modo chimed in.

Mephistopheles groaned. He had indeed found them a sanctuary, but if he didn’t get his own room soon he would kill off every single one of those annoying brats...

He felt soft hands kneading out the knots in his back. “Although I would normally strangle you for touching me, I think I can make an exception... oo... don’t stop, woman, or I WILL strangle you!”

Lillith grinned, and kept massaging his back. “You should be nice to Mahu and Modo. They ARE your brothers.”

He murmured something that sounded vaguely like “shut up, tootz,” but she decided to pretend not to have heard. Under normal circumstances, he would be a smear on the wall for calling her ‘tootz’.

Johannes Obidicut, meanwhile, was trying to clean the blood off his rapier. It had been a few days since they had stood still long enough to clean it, and the blood was starting to soak in... the downsides of having a living blade. However, the upsides more than made up for the maintenance – it killed almost without any effort on Obidicut’s part, it always knew the weak points of any creature... even the gelatinous cube, which had been quite a sticky battle (as Lucifer had pointed out). Obidicut hated Lucifer for his goddamn poetry. However, as he glanced towards Mephistopheles and Lillith, he decided he hated Mephistopheles more. It wasn’t fair, that Lillith gave free back rubs to Mephistopheles when he would just as soon kill her for touching him, and she totally ignored Johannes, who would die for her. It just wasn’t FAIR.

Suddenly, a message cloud appeared next to Lucifer’s head, and a tiny picture of a pretty angel with short black hair and blue eyes popped up. “Lucifer?”

He looked surprised, but his fierce expression quickly melted into a smile. “Hello, Evangeline.”

She pouted cutely. “When are you coming home?”

He looked to the other fallen angels, but they snickered, eyes sparkling. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m on a mission from God. I really don’t know.”

“Ok... well... I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Eva. Take care of everything for me.”

“I will.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

The Sentinels burst out laughing. Lucifer glared at them all. “Shut up! SHUT UP!” But their laughter was louder, and finally he gave in and chuckled a little. Though he’d never admit it to this crowd, he really did love Evangeline, and did indeed hope to return to her... although every day, that possibility dwindled and the Erinyes grew father and farther apart from their Father, and closer and closer together... He laughed along with them, hoping that he could pull them back to the good side, but knowing in his heart that they had already gone over the edge, and he, hopelessly, with them.

*~*~*~*

I'm not sure which character I'm proving has a good side... all of them, I guess.

Just for your information, these characters are mine, assimilated from bits and pieces I've heard about or researched.

As for the other stories... I really liked Csira's post, especially the beginning... and so much contrast! Wonderful. The one with the aspirin, I didn't quite see so much of a contrast. It was kind of like a good character with a bad fault.... this is for bad characters with good faults!

Oh and for the stupid ones:
Lucifer = poetry and Evangeline
Obidicut = Lillith
Mephistopheles = massages? o_O
Lillith = she gives more readily than the others

[an:e21550b2a4]How about this one? This may seem out of context since its pretty much ripped directly from my latest writing project. In this story, the villian is also the protagonist, and my goal is to make the reader identify with him, and make him have real feelings. This is a point where his calculating evil falls apart a little. Enjoy![/an:e21550b2a4]
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Then, he felt something that almost shocked him out of his false tears. Soft, warm arms wrapped around his small body, cradling and soothing him. He cried, and the counselor hugged him, rocked him, whispered that everything would be all right. At first, he felt his hatred swelling at the profanity of her touch, his loathing growing with every lie she whispered. What did this pathetic woman know of his troubles, that she could try simply to hug them away? What power did she believe she possessed? What right did the bitch have to touch him?! But . . . But . . . Something about this felt . . . right. There was solace here, if only he could take it. Her body was warm and comfortable as she held him, and Adam had never felt a woman's body so closely. It was . . . fascinating. Yes. Fascinating, and interesting, and most . . . curious. He could stay here awhile, in order to . . . analyze this feeling. Yes. Analyze. . . .

Adam buried his face in her shoulder and cried, and the woman softly rubbed his back, whispering all the while, shushing him as if he were a child of three. Just playing along! his inner voice cautioned. That's all you're doing. Just playing along. It's all you can do, all you can afford. She doesn't want to comfort you; she wants to hurt you! You're just playing along!

At last, the embrace ended, and Adam calmed down, his tense body relaxing once again. As the woman withdrew, Adam looked at her face, into her eyes, and wondered if she could see his hatred. Could she see his intentions and emotions, detect his feelings as she had during their first meeting? Had she somehow sensed his feelings in their embrace, as if his emotion were powerful enough it could radiate through both skin and clothes and reach her?

She looked at him with eyes so genuine it made him sick. "Now, please, Adam. Please, tell me what happened to your father. I promise, I won't judge you. I know this wasn't your fault, and if you tell me everything, I know you'll feel better."

All too easy, Adam thought, and began speaking in a quiet, calm voice, allowing Miss Argent to believe her lie, that her careful counseling was the cause of his sudden quiet.

Kewl! Me likey. Have you read the others, and what do you think?

Hoewver, I didn't really see a definitive quality about him... after all, he didn't really give in to her or anything.

Yes, I read some of the others. I would have commented on them earlier, but I kind of posted on the run last time. Let's see. . . .

Leapord: I liked the personality of the bully, and his sort of regret for beating up on the other kid. As an example and first post for this thread, it is pretty good.

Pawn: Pretty cool! I like the whole "gentleman assassin" thing here. Evilness= He kills people mercilessly. Redemption= He's so darned cool. Good job!

Csira: Very workable. . . The writing is clear and the story creative. There were a couple of places that made me chuckle, even when it was at the supposedly evil part, for example, Omenis (cool name) says "Mathematical errors are unnacceptable."

Hollyoake: An interesting idea, and well executed on your part. However, it was a little too uneventful for my tastes.

Cora: My personal favorite, although at one point I wanted to turn away from the computer and scream "NO! NO! WRONG!!!" The stupid little balloon appearing above Lucifer's head made my eye twitch--I pictured a dark prince in a dark empire with blood and death and evil . . . and suddenly this bright white cloud appears with a chibi, high-voiced little girl from an anime in it, and Lucifer melts. UGH!!!

As for mine, well I suppose it makes more sense taken as a whole with the rest of the novel. Basically, this little kid has this overwhelming hatred for all adults, but at this point he just wants to melt into this woman's arms and be comforted by her. At the point where he cries into her shoulder, he's supposed to have totally lost it. He wants to give up his hatred, and even his inner voice telling him this embrace means nothing is supposed to come across as denial. So, I suppose what I was going for was "Calculating evil" vs "Childish innocence." Not sure that came across very well in this particular excerpt, though. On a side note, he later kills this woman.

I do have a suggestion for future entries--some of these seem to follow a formula that makes them less interesting than they could be. Some of them have a character doing a bad thing, and then switch and have a good thing. The organization is like, "Here's what's bad about them," and then "Here's the good stuff." I think it's funner when you mix the two elements, since in a character's mind good and bad qualities would sort of be mingled without this kind of organization.

Originally Posted by Dark Aevin

Csira: Very workable. . . The writing is clear and the story creative. There were a couple of places that made me chuckle, even when it was at the supposedly evil part, for example, Omenis (cool name) says "Mathematical errors are unnacceptable."

Ehh, I realize. My friend who read the entire story from which this derived from, she laughed at the parts that I never considered humorous. (or maybe it's just that she's utterly sadistic ^^; ) Anyways, I have to work on that someday.

And, Csira hardly has time to go through all the entries in this thread, so one day when I have more time I shall. I know you must be annoyed at me for not reading a bunch of things I said I will, but I'm really distracted right now. And I can't offer good opinions when I am such.

~Csira

When I said I chuckled, I meant in a GOOD way. That was excellent personality, and a very cool line coming from a villain, as if he were so cruel that a simple miscalculation should cost a man his life.

Don't be so down on yourself. Commenting on the work of others is a kindness, not an obligation.

Tavs strolled across the ground like the wind, nothing would stop him from acheiving his end. He would destroy all for the simple purpose that all was evil, he had to be malicious and cunning to get rid of every evil in the world or evil would conquer him and no one could fight it.
Minutes later he stepped into a dimly lit room in it sat a man in a chair and standing next to him was a man with dark hair and a black cape his eyes gleamed. Travs tossed his long silver hair out of his face and snickered, he had to keep his cool and seem intimidating. The man in the chair was pudgy and wore glasses he was clearly sweating,
"Do you know of which crime you have been accused?" asked Travs to the man.
The man whimpered for a second and struggled with his words "N...no" he stammered, sweat trickled down his neck. Travs gave a signal and the man in the black cape revealed a long knife to the pudgy man. The pudgy man or as identified by the one who brought him in as Davin Gavitts gasped and sweated more.
"i'll ask again don't make me angry" said Travs cooly "Do you know the crime you have been accused of" he drew the last part out as if to make it clearer he stared at the man and he knew his eyes must have been as black as coals to the man he had often been told his eyes had that effect. His sharp face drew nearer to Davin and his long nose sat inches from the man. "I...I..don't know" stammered the man he began to sob.
Travs flicked a signal stood up and left, as he closed the door he could hear Davin say "No..no please....Nooooooooooooooooooooooo" as the scream faded and there was a thud. Travs couldn't grieve over this he had to remain emotionless or otherwise be weak, the man had been a theif. Not directly so but he was a cheating buisnessman an evil that had to be cleansed from the world, Travs smiled 'another down' he thought.

Aevin: with the cloud thing... I wanted to make Lucifer like "yeah honey, go away I'm being evil" so... the contrast was intended, the demons get a kick out of Lucifer and his wife.... heh I should have Mahu or Modo making goo-goo eyes at him =^..^=

personally I like the first one its just kinda funny.