Thread: Punny Poetry!

Hehehe! Punny Poetry.

Any kind of poem is okay, as long as it prominently features at least one pun.

Haiku is popular for this sort of thing, and limericks are also often punny (see Penelope's Fishmonger Fred for a couple of good examples). But I'm leaving it open; I just want to see what comes up.

Right. Here goes, starting with a haiku.


For Hamburger Hill
General must muster his men
So, he mustard them


[edit] ps - hmmm..... there's a certain poetic irony in the fact that this marks my 300th post!

Once there was a lady that writes
On her computer instead of types
She loved to search for sites
And flies her kites
She doesn't want to give up her rights

The grey rabbit raced to her lair.
A whippet was hot on her trail.
Hounded to a breath of a hair.
The dog's day would surely not fail.
She bounded across the field
into the bramble bush.
The whippet had to yeild,
his loss, no win, nor a push.
The hound was limp and panting
by the rabbit's run.
A hot dog, I'll be granting
no relish, not even a bun.

(best I could do - for now)

I saw a fur ball of rodent one day
He was actually a mole under some hay
When I tried mowing it down
I saw mold on a glass that it licked around
Wonder where that animal went on top of the bay

A Fish Tale

...and they swam and they swam
til they reached a water hill
...and they bobbed up and down
as they enjoyed a little thrill

...they laughed and laughed
having snuck out from their school
...but soon they would find out
why tis not good to act the fool.

...all at once came a fright
with a splash and a cold spray
...the surfers were skimming
and rolling atop the cool waves.

...and they ducked and weaved
and they almost lost a TAIL fin
...and they swam and they swam
til in school, they were again.

ARenee August 13, 2003

not sure if this qualifies as a true pun, but the lil addition of TAIL may make it so.... I enjoyed reading the punny posts!

why are we here right living to be
there or anywhere in between like a bee
swarming around smelling sweet flowers
or existing with great magical powers
can't I just be me

There once was a fishmonger name of Stu.
Stu floundered from a bout of the flu.
His clientele sent him mail
and snails by the pail.
Stu's muscles, they grew and they grew.

there once was a kitty
who loved life and was so witty
she laugh at anything
from jokes to her earring
and of course she had a nice kitty

yes, her kitty was little at first
but it grew until she had a nice nest egg or burst
her jokes were great
she made laughter with every plate
she became the famous kitty with humor thirst

there once was a teddy bear
which loved you as if to care
she threw big kisses and hugs
and gave big bear tugs
but she clings to the one that bugs

a lady was here
but she couldn't hear a thing
so she screamed until

there was a shiny bright sun
who wanted some company with a run
he found a man and his son
to help with his fun
yet the race was won by Mr. Pun

There was a young man from Hyde,
who fell down a sewer and died,
his unfortunate brother,
fell down another,
and now they're interred side by side.



if you don't get it, just say the word interred, and see what else it sounds like that might fit the whole sewer theme.

There was a huge fellow named Shaw
Who was eight feet tall from his head to the floor.
His growth finally stopped,
When he ate some blood-covered rock:
After that he never grusome ore.


(and in case you didn't get it, the pun is "grusome ore" --> "grew some more"... yeah, yeah; I know ... *groooaaaaaaan* )

Our Spudley's a writer who would,
just keep punning all day if he could,
although big tall guy Shaw,
had grown eight feet or more,
the real groan was the pun there, Spud.

(just joking, of course my fellow englishman!)

There once was a lady called Pen,
who felt a bit caged by her name, now and then,
caught drunk stealing cars,
and always between bars,
she now swims in the lock with a hen.

errr.... yeah.

(no relation to the Pen who frequents this forum. i'm sure she's a nice lady and doesn't get drunk and steal cars or swim with hens(!?) )