Thread: You are so x that...

The prompt is simple. Come up with as many "You are so x that" insults as you can. I start by coming up with a few, then I give you another adjective which you should use. If you don't like the suggested adjective, then come up with your own.

And because this is a family forum (or is it?), let's not get _too_ offensive You probably know yourselves where to draw the line.

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Slow

You are so slow that you get lapped during a 100 meters dash.

You are so slow that if you try to swim to shore in the East Coast you never make it because of tectonic movements.

You are so slow that you make skidmarks on the Earth as it revolves.


The next adjective is: grumpy

You're so grumpy that you make the Thinker look like Ronald McDonald.

You're so grumpy that every you type instantly turns into a .

You're so grumpy that children cry at the sight of you.

Next adjective: Smelly

Don't like 'Smelly' so I'm suggesting my own.

(Only for the Aussies - and possibly for the Brits, who may know what "shout" means, or can work it out, in context. The Yanks can forget it; the concept of buying drinks for their mates is non-existent - that's if they had any mates in the first place)

Tight:

He's so tight he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him.