Surinderjit

I need some help transitioning from a narrative to an actual dialogue with words between characters.


An example from my current story:

To make it worse, he was stuck in a city. He much more preferred the villages of Punjab over the Indian version of an American city.

However, her (reference to an already established character, a main female at this point) family soon picked up on his boredom, his disgust, and they took him elsewhere.NOW AT THIS POINT I WANT TO INSERT SOME SUBSTANCE, PULLING AWAY FROM DESCRIBING WHATS HAPPENING TO WRITING AN ACTUAL EXAMPLE.. like between two people, something with more meat then a narrative. Should i insert a few more lines of narrative, then the actual... discussion?

Sorry if this isn't clear.

lilacstarflower

You could try writing a little more narrative that illustrates your point and then move onto a discussion between the characters. Best thing to do is to write it out both ways you were suggesting and then see which flows better

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lin

Not all that clear, but from what I can figure out, you could insert a scene of line of dialogue right there. Of course we can tell from this how you've been doing things, but I don't see any reason you couldn't

However, her family soon picked up on his boredom, his disgust, and they took him elsewhere. Aunt Fatima doted on him as usual, declaring him a sensitive boy with a taste for the purity of nature. Her sister Govinda was less taken. "He's a goatherd in his heart," she proclaimed. "He needs clods to hop."
Hurree said nothing, though he privately thought Govinda would fit right in with goat society as he'd seen it.

Or some such thing. I think this is a very effective way of doing things, rather than large blocks of exposition. You can add human touch, humor, drama, whatever with a few such lines.

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