love - Page 2 - Writers Forum

Xejon · 02-19-2008, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hodge

Romance novels are based off of love like fantasy is based off of the Middle Ages.

In other words, both of them claim to emulate reality but really just make a bunch of shit up for the sake of a plot that millions will pay money for. And then you end up with countless idiots who really believe epic sword fights, knights in shining armor, and virtuous kings existed during the medieval period. Just like romance novels produce countless idiots who believe in love at first sight, Fabio, and everlasting passion.

There is no love in romance novels. There is a fantasy. That is all. Turning to them when trying to understand love in the real world not only doesn't help, but it also harms in that it teaches people that love should involve unbridled passion, chiseled abs, no flaws, and Fabio, which makes people set unrealistic standards, which keeps them perpetually single, which makes them buy more shitty romance novels to masturbate to and fantasize about... It's a vicious cycle.

I know at least one girl who has this precise problem... she can't shake the thought that being in love is some perfect, ineffable feeling, a feeling that she's been chasing for years and has given up several very nice guys for.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ty_lol

I hope my grandmother doesn't masturbate as much as she reads romance novels. Cus that would be a lot...

Old people have sex organs too.

SteveDunster · 02-19-2008, 07:14 PM

So what sort of "love" do you need Snoopy?

Maybe the white hot excitement of first flush passion - when even a glance can send the pulse racing...

...or the "can't live 'em and can't live without 'em" ups and downs of a settling relationship, as both are learning to share their lives...

...or sadness and lonely familiarity of a long relationship sucked dry simply by both taking a little more out than they were putting in over years...

...or the bliss and comfort of an intense and intimate friendship, familiar yet benign, of a relationship that has no more reasons for argument, and has shared a lifetime achievements and memories - two souls, now as one.

...and I guess there's loads of shades of grey in between.

Let us know what sort of love you're after there Snoopy, and we can try and give some more detailed help in that area.

Oh, and one more thing, earlier in the thread I did read some good advice to "write what you know about." Well that is indeed true, but you don't have to necessarily have experienced what you want to write about. Instead you can hone your observational skills.

Good luck Snoopy and I hope I've been of some help

Steve

Sam Winchester · 02-20-2008, 05:30 PM

I think love is an indescribable emotion. You cannot express in words the entire feelings you go through. You can try, though, and I wish you all the best with that, lol!

SteveDunster · 02-20-2008, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sam Winchester

I think love is an indescribable emotion. You cannot express in words the entire feelings you go through. You can try, though, and I wish you all the best with that, lol!

ah, now that is where music comes into its own! It is so much better at describing emotions than words

jacobworld · 02-22-2008, 08:09 PM

I have been in China for 2 years now
Love -- here is a contract

Mike C · 02-23-2008, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDunster

ah, now that is where music comes into its own! It is so much better at describing emotions than words

What a shame books don't come with soundtracks, eh?

Actually, I will disagree wih mr Winchester, there's nothing that can't be described in words.

Not by the OP though. If you haven't experienced it, you can't write it.

SteveDunster · 02-23-2008, 03:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike C

Actually, I will disagree wih mr Winchester, there's nothing that can't be described in words.

I used to have the same opinion Mike, until I started composing. Sure you can address everything in words, but when you start modelling things in music, when it comes to emotions, you realise that words are a really clunky way of describing it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike C

Not by the OP though. If you haven't experienced it, you can't write it.

You opinion here Mike is the writing equivalent of method acting. I agree that it is generally good advice to write what you know. But every writer at every level has to engage some sort of imagination surely - otherwise the bookshops would be full of autobiographies and nothing else.

Sci-fi, history, action/adventure, fantasy - they'd all be wiped out as genres wouldn't they, if we only wrote what we'd experienced.

ArlenOrobono · 02-23-2008, 11:02 AM

I think Mike was speaking more in the context of emotions, not events

. It's rather difficult to describe an emotion you've never felt.

Suzip · 02-23-2008, 11:07 AM

I don't agree with an earlier post which said if you describe love than its not real. I can say exactly how I feel about my partner and knows its very real.

Hodge · 02-23-2008, 11:39 PM

Music doesn't describe emotions. Music can be interpreted by the listener to contain emotion. But honestly, if you get 10 different people to listen to "The Great Gig in the Sky," you'll get 10 different interpretations of that woman's wailing. Though to be fair, marijuana might be involved in all those interpretations.

Mike C · 02-24-2008, 06:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDunster

Sure you can address everything in words, but when you start modelling things in music, when it comes to emotions, you realise that words are a really clunky way of describing it.

We'll agree to disagree here. Music has the power to evoke, not describe, emotions.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SteveDunster

But every writer at every level has to engage some sort of imagination surely - otherwise the bookshops would be full of autobiographies and nothing else.

Sci-fi, history, action/adventure, fantasy - they'd all be wiped out as genres wouldn't they, if we only wrote what we'd experienced.

Immaterial. Wheter your story is set in the here and now, in your front room, or on a planet far, far away, a thousand years in the future, your story is about the same things. Love, hate, fear, elation... You're not writing about your furniture, or space stations, or intergalactic travel, but about people doing stuff.

Whether you're in manchester or on mars, falling in love is falling in love. If you haven't done it, you haven't done it. To write about it is, at best, emotionally bankrupt.

SteveDunster · 02-24-2008, 08:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mike C

We'll agree to disagree here. Music has the power to evoke, not describe, emotions.

You make my point very well thank you Mike, music will "evoke" emotions (which I believe is a lower more basic, lower brain thing), where as words "describe" emotions (as a higher level, upper brain thing - which of course becomes associated with a lower brain thing, but it occurs to me there is more mechanics in the way, so I say music has a more direct connection into the emotional centre). not quite sure of my science here, but this is the way it appears to me.

I didn't notice this distinction until I started underscoring for films. When you get a film nicely written, acted and edited but without any music, then you come to realise just how much of what you "feel" is down to the music - which most people don't even notice is playing, unless it is Titles, Credits or Inter-scene cue.

When I look at a locked picture of a film for the first time with a view to underscoring it - it is surprising just how many emotionally interpretative options are available to the composer.

If words, lighting and acting leave such ambiguity, and it is down to music to actual nail it (and the slightest change of tempo, or harmony, or key can alter the interpretation quite dramatically), then I am led to conclude that music has a greater emotional fidelity than words alone.

BUT PLEASE, this is not something I need to persuade you of. It is nothing more than an observation I have noticed whilst doing my work, and in my own mind I have good evidence that it is true. I mention it in case there are writers here who may not have had the opportunity to try and describe the same subtle emotions using both words and music.

CodeRed · 02-24-2008, 08:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by snoopy111

how does it feel like to be in love? what makes you know you are in love? my short story is about 2 people in love but i need to know how to show there love for each other. thanks.

It depends on the age of your characters, really. For me, being in love means you want to give another person the best of you, and you trust them with the worst of you.

This was my little two cents for Valentines Day...

Love is like Disneyland, some people just want to go there for the rides, others worry about how much it costs. Me, I like to design and build my own special rides that just me and one other can go on.

Of course, there's also the whole waiting around forever only to end up being sick, as someone else pointed out to me.

Serendipity · 04-14-2008, 12:03 AM

Well, if you have never actually been in love here is my advice:

Do some research and make a list of "types" of love. (Examples: romantic love, selfless love, obsessive love, love as a game, love as friendship, realistic love, etc.)

Now set emotion to each type of love using films, stories, myths, music and so on to each type. Notice how the people in love interacted, record how you felt as you experienced their interaction.

Because of the different kinds of love there isn't an easy answer.

Best of luck!

starseed · 04-23-2008, 10:35 PM

"Falling in love" is like some sort of horrible/wonderful drug. You can't sleep, you can't eat, you feel giddy and high all the time. You can't stop smiling.

It's a wonderful, magical thing, however sometimes you can "fall in love" but not really "be" in love, you know? Many times I've had the giddy wonderful falling feeling, but not many times have I known what it's like to truly love someone (Id say twice).

Real love is holding someones hair back while they puke with the stomach flu,
and taking care of them when they can't get out of bed.
Real love is trusting them, truly and deeply.
Real love is caring about them more than you can ever explain,
in a way that no matter what they could ever say and do, you know you
will still love them.
Real love is respecting them and admiring them for who they are,
deeply.
Real love is all the little things they do that drive you crazy.
Real love is loving THEM more than you love "having them" and if the time comes where its not working anymore (for whatever reason) real love means letting
go no matter how much it might hurt.

I had all those things with my ex fiance and breaking up with him was one of the most terrible painful things Ive done in my life, but I knew in my heart it was what needed to happen although I didn't know why at the time. Now he has a beautiful baby with someone else, and I'm a person I never could have been had I stayed with him. He and I are still friends in fact I got off the phone with him about a half hour ago.

Thats real love.

Hope that helps!