Quick question on word usage. - Writers Forum

kemennar19 · 10-18-2006, 08:55 PM

I am unsure of which is the best to use in this instance...
"The man flung his blade and it burst into flame in midair before embedding itself in Andulaon’s mother’s chest."

Should the word chest or breast be used here. Chest seems to have a general male connotation, but breast no longer seems to mean the general area.

luna626 · 10-18-2006, 09:15 PM

I'd say chest.
You're right, breast isnt really thought of as 'the chest area' anymore... nowadays the words, "the man's breast" aren't used much. So yeah, I'd use chest.

aspiring · 10-19-2006, 04:07 AM

I would say it depends on the style you are using throughout the book. If you are writing in a historical/fantasy style rather than using contemporary language, then I would be more inclined to use 'breast'. To avoid confusion, you could say 'ribs' or 'breastbone'

Just one other thing though - when I first read the sentence I assumed that the knife had been burnt up when it burst into flame and therefore could not embed itself in someone's chest. I had to read the sentence twice to understand that's not what you meant.

Hakeem · 10-19-2006, 10:05 AM

Chest.

The man flung his blade and it burst into flame in midair before embedding itself in the chest of Andulaon’s mother.

Breast is the "fleshy milk-secreting glandular organs on the chest of a woman"; breast is a part of the chest.

Mike C · 10-19-2006, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hakeem

The man flung his blade and it burst into flame in midair before embedding itself in the chest of Andulaon’s mother.

That's a horribly structured sentence. And for fantasy, breast would be the best word choice.

mammamaia · 10-19-2006, 11:36 AM

as usual, i'm with mike on this... your well-meant suggested change doesn't improve things any, hakeem... and 'breast' was used in the not that long ago past to mean the entire chest area of either gender... so, if that work is fantasy/historical, as it appears to be, either chest or breast would be fine...

'breasts' in the plural would be referring to the mammary glands, but the singular would be seen by most readers to mean 'chest' in that context... as in 'he clutched the chalice to his breast'...

Hakeem · 10-19-2006, 11:42 AM

Yes Maia, I did mean the sentence.

Sorry for the confusion.

kemennar19 · 10-19-2006, 07:38 PM

Okay, so....
The blade was engulfed in an unburning flame as it left the stranger's hand. In the instant that followed, the dagger embedded itself in Andulaon's mother's breast, the flame disappearing with the metal of the blade.
Is that any better sentence structure and slightly clearer for anyone? It still doesn't seem to be the right word...

Mike C · 10-20-2006, 01:46 AM

Works for me. Breaking it into two sentences is much better. And if you don't like breast, don't use it!

Pluie · 10-20-2006, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kemennar19

The blade was engulfed in an unburning flame as it left the stranger's hand. In the instant that followed, the dagger embedded itself in Andulaon's mother's breast, the flame disappearing with the metal of the blade.

That is the best sentence yet

Rhea · 10-20-2006, 08:26 AM

I'd agree with the rest that if your context is historical/fantasy, breast would sound more appropriate, but if you don't like it, then just use chest. Your knife bursting into flames sounds as if the whole knife suddenly burnt up...and the two sentence approach does sound better.

Fantasy of You · 10-20-2006, 09:21 AM

Well, did it hit the breast or the chest? They are different nowadays

Mike C · 10-20-2006, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fantasy of You

Well, did it hit the breast or the chest? They are different nowadays

No, they're not. You're confusing breast with breasts.

mammamaia · 10-20-2006, 12:11 PM

Quote:

No, they're not. You're confusing breast with breasts.

...as i thought we'd explained well enough in previous posts here!