Ask The Opposite Sex Thread

[Pookaah]

Well, you certainly don't ask surface questions!

When you get to the ripe old age of 48, you tend to analyse yourself and your reactions to all kinds of things. Well, you do if you're introspective like me.

I can only speak for myself but I was always attracted to a 'type' which combined looks and a favourite stereotype. One of the giveaways on my preferences was that I thought Kevin Costner attractive as Robin Hood and the guy in 'Dances With Wolves' but just the opposite in his 'short-haired roles.

I always loved the gypsy, troubadour, artist type in books and film and for me they always had to have dark hair and often wavy or curly. Anyone that fitted that mold was instantly attractive. I only dated one blonde guy and never dated anyone with very short hair (but you have to remember this was the seventies). I married a dark and curly haired artist so I married true to my formula. Of course, there are streaks of white there now but who cares?

Sorry for the digression - to get back to your question. Imagining myself at an appropriate age I'd find the short trousers a contradiction to the well-groomed appearance and wonder if something unusual had happened to him. I'd guess he hadn't got a girlfriend - I'm sure a girlfriend would say something about the trousers. I like the ragged coat though - shows individuality. That and the book bag would spark my interest.

On the wording - you say his eyes have a light blue tint - what's the main colour? Also, if you want your writing to travel to all English-speaking countries you might want to limit country specific terms. I know what loafers are but not penny loafers. What are khakis? I only know khaki as a colour.

Finally, tell us more. I'm intrigued.

[rainbow]

In response to NoWorries question:it depends on how good the writer is and the part that the woman plays in the book. I find that if it is a short part in the book, male authors tend to describe womens features in a more sexual way than a female writer would, Stephen King would be a prime example for instance in how he describes 'Bonnie' in 'Salem's Lot'. So yes, i can tell sometimes, but it isn't so blatant usually to put me off the story due to unrealism. It all depends on the quality of the writer.

[Rajie]

Well, sometimes I can tell just by the style of writing whether it's a man or a woman. Just for instance, I was reading a review today and halfway through I just could not help but think it had to be a woman writing. I looked up top to see that it was indeed. Women have, I guess, a more descriptive style then men do. As my father once said, it can take a woman an hour to tell you that the house burned down b/c of the fine details they must relate. While, men (normally) get right to the chase.

[NoWorries]

Well, I was just reading the introduction to "The Canterbury Tales" and it enforces what Rainbow said, men are more sexual in what they write. Chaucer describes the business woman as

"She knew all about wandering-and straying:
For she was Gapped-toothed, if you take my meaning."

Not that she really has gapped teeth, but that's a way of saying...in the 1300's...that she's promiscuous in the fellatio arena...

[xxxFairy]

Originally Posted by Logos

Thats helps a bit, let me try being more specific.
I'll describe a hypothetical male character and ask you to post the conclusions that you draw about who he is.

You see a gentleman carrying a bookbag at his side. He's wearing a navy blue coat that's torn in places. His eyes have a light blue tint to them, and he has a short hair-cut slicked back with gel. He is wearing a pair of clean khakis, a pair of worn leather penny-loafers, and a grey sweater. He is cleanly shaved and despite his ragged coat he appears to be well groomed. He appears to be between the ages of 19 and 24, he is walking with a brisk step down the halls of a campus. He has a long stride, and you can see his socks when he steps, his pants may be an inch to short. His socks are black with a single red stripe running down them.

I've tried to present an unbiased and disorganized group of details, I'd be interested to know which of the details about this man are you most likely to notice first. Would you notice his socks? What do you think about the mans coat? Is this person intresting or are you likely to ignore him?

Finally, Who do you think he is based on this observation?

I know it's tough but thats the question I really want answered, I know that liking and disliking someone is a highly subjective thing.

Well, the first thing that I would notice, would be his face, and then the pants that are too short and the bookbag that he is carrying. I can't imagine a popular guy carrying a bookbag, I think they would wear a rucksack, so the first thing I would say when I see the bookbag and his pants is "He's a geek". But it are mostly the popular guys who put gel in their hair, so I would have my doubts. It depends on his expression, his self-confidence. If he smirks brutally and if you can see him thinking "I'm great. Everyone loves me." I would say he's a popular guy and likely a jerk. If he looks sad, I would say he's a loser, then I would have had pity on him and it's likely I would have talked to him.
I wouldn't have thought that his torned coat is supposed to be that way, because everything else about him is so neat. And in combination with his pants that are too short I could only come to this conclusion: he's poor. But it wouldn't have influenced my opinion about him. I wouldn't see him immediately as a love-interest, because I don't like the way he looks,but everyone has their own opinion about that.
So it depends on his expression if I would ignore him or not.

And for the other question: Most of the time I can't see the difference between a story written by a man, or a story written by a girl. But I think a girl/woman would put more romance in it and less violence. And I must agree with the others about the man-writer-sex-thing. If a man describes a woman, he would probably write: "She is a very pretty girl, with brown hair,green eyes,sexy legs,perfect shaped breasts, and a very nice butt. She wears a white blouse,and because of the cold temperature, you can see her nipples..." instead of "She is a very pretty girl, with beautiful flowy hair and cute eyes. She wears a blouse and a skirt that are perfectly suiting her green eyes and brown hair. She has much self-confidence. All the boys love her." But this isn't always the case.

[Ralizah]

To the girls: Why is it that every woman I've met has been obsessive over the color of her nails? And why is it when I tell them I don't care if their nails are colored or not when they're freaking out about it they get frustrated?

[xxxFairy]

Originally Posted by Ralizah

To the girls: Why is it that every woman I've met has been obsessive over the color of her nails? And why is it when I tell them I don't care if their nails are colored or not when they're freaking out about it they get frustrated?

I don't know. I don't paint my nails. And if I do, I don't care what other people will think of it

[Rajie]

Originally Posted by xxxFairy

I don't know. I don't paint my nails. And if I do, I don't care what other people will think of it

Amen to that.

In my house it's the men that notice what color I put on my nails while I've long since forgotten about it (which takes about 5 secs for me to forget something I most likely did out of boredom).

[Ilan Bouchard]

Originally Posted by Rajie

We judge how "handsome" a guy is based on how symmetrical his facial features are.

Well, with that in mind I have a question. I don't really care, but I'm curious: I have a cow-lick (a small section of hair that naturally goes in a different direction than the rest of my hair) on the right side of my head, leading my hair to the right. When I grow my hair out about down to my eyes (as it is now), my hair naturally parts here and makes it seem like it was just combed. It isn't symmetrical, so is that the kind of thing that would "make me unattractive"?

For someone who doesn't care about my looks, I sure can be vain sometimes....

[FoggyImagination]

I think it depends on the overall package...if you're a good looking guy to begin with, I'd find that break in symmetry cute. Now if it looked like Malcolm's (malcolm in the middle) greased and plowed to the side kind of cow-lick....uh....

[Creative_Insanity]

Originally Posted by Ralizah

To the girls: Why is it that every woman I've met has been obsessive over the color of her nails? And why is it when I tell them I don't care if their nails are colored or not when they're freaking out about it they get frustrated?

First of all, I don't paint my nails. But then again, some women would probably say I'm an "exception", an "embarassment to the female species", etc. They just can't admit that they're slaves and I'm free.

Anyways, they're probably frustrated because you don't appreciate something that is important to them. They work hard to get it pretty, then you say you don't care anyways.

Whatever. I say to all women, use would-be nailpainting time for something more constructive. Like, say, talking with us here in the writing forums.

[NoWorries]

Originally Posted by Creative_Insanity

First of all, I don't paint my nails. But then again, some women would probably say I'm an "exception", an "embarassment to the female species", etc. They just can't admit that they're slaves and I'm free.

One of my (ex) friends tried to do the feminist thing and say that she wouldn't shave her legs anymore because it was what was expected of her. That's cool...I guess...but she soon fell into complete antisocial behavior and eventually quit bathing but a few times a week...

If the rest is made-up, and you refuse to do your nails, that's cool, but the most important thing, above all others, is hygiene.

[Rajie]

Originally Posted by Ilan Bouchard

Well, with that in mind I have a question. I don't really care, but I'm curious: I have a cow-lick (a small section of hair that naturally goes in a different direction than the rest of my hair) on the right side of my head, leading my hair to the right. When I grow my hair out about down to my eyes (as it is now), my hair naturally parts here and makes it seem like it was just combed. It isn't symmetrical, so is that the kind of thing that would "make me unattractive"?

For someone who doesn't care about my looks, I sure can be vain sometimes....

No. Now if your facial features were lop sided that would make you unattractive... Hair, you can fix, and as one person once said "It all looks the same in the shower..."

[Rajie]

Originally Posted by NoWorries

One of my (ex) friends tried to do the feminist thing and say that she wouldn't shave her legs anymore because it was what was expected of her. That's cool...I guess...but she soon fell into complete antisocial behavior and eventually quit bathing but a few times a week...

If the rest is made-up, and you refuse to do your nails, that's cool, but the most important thing, above all others, is hygiene.

Talk about a domino effect.

I know when people become depressed for a certain amount of time the first thing to go is vanity (grooming, make-up, etc) and then the next is hygiene. Perhaps it is just an outwardly way of expressing that something is (visibly) wrong with that person?

[LiberalDem]

To the girls: Why is it that every woman I've met has been obsessive over the color of her nails? And why is it when I tell them I don't care if their nails are colored or not when they're freaking out about it they get frustrated?

I take very good care of my nails. I file, buff and paint once a week and I don't do this to attract males (that's what my clothes are for ). It destresses me, and has the added benefit of making my hands look nice. The whole process takes about 30 minutes (that's including toes) and I couldn't give a rat's ass whether anyone noticed or not. Now, a new hair style is a different story.

I have a question for the guys: How many of you Honestly wash your hands after using the bathroom? And if you don't, why not?