Kitten Courna

This isn't research for a story or poem; it's research for a hobby.

I'm wondering if anyone here speaks or knows French well enough to read over a translation of a song that I'm having difficulty with. Any takers?

-Kitten

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Cadmus: Poor child, like a white swan warding its weak old father, why do you clasp those white arms about my neck?
Euripides; 'The Bacchae'

Pendulum

You could use a free translation engine from google but those tend not to be reliable or I'm sure some people on the site could help a little (mosta the Canadians eh?) I know a little but probably not enough to translate a song. Post it anyway and I'll have a go. Some other people might too.

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Society Blows

Capulet

I know a significant amount of French. Enough that I'd volunteer to take a crack at it.

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It's not opression when you are protecting the voice of the majority.

-Shawn

Kitten Courna

Thanks for the advice Pendulum, but it's my experience that translation engines are good for single word definitions only. Thanks though.

Here's the bit I'm nost having problems with (and thanks you two for volunteering) is this one:

Mais voilà qu'il flotte
La lune se trotte
La princesse aussi
Sous le ciel sans lune
Je pleure à la brune
Mon rêve évanoui

Perhaps it is that I'm simply unsatisfied that my rendition doesn't satisfactorily mimic the poetic feel:

But here it floats
The moon turns itself
The Princess also
Under a moonless sky
I cry to the brunette
My fading dream

Or it could be that I don't know french *smile*. I also haven't been able to find out what 'mandigote' means, which is in another verse. Any help would be appreciated, thank you.

-Kitten

__________________
Cadmus: Poor child, like a white swan warding its weak old father, why do you clasp those white arms about my neck?
Euripides; 'The Bacchae'

Capulet

That's always a major issue with direct translations, especially rhyming poetry. You lose the flow and symmetry of the work, because the two languages won't match up in rhyming scheme or syllable counts in the lines. Sometimes you have to "fudge" the words to maintain the intended meaning.

How about something like:

Oh but see it float
The moon passing by
As does the princess
Under the moonless sky
To that brunette I cry (or maybe "to her I cry", I don't know how
important "brunette" is in the greater context)
My fading dream

__________________
It's not opression when you are protecting the voice of the majority.

-Shawn

Kitten Courna

I'm not so much worried about rhyme scheme and matching beats as I am about conveying the right meaning. It's a puzzling verse; it seems to be trying to say much more in terms of mood and the subtle working of words than I have the proficiency to convey. It is different from the rest of the song in some very odd ways.

Thanks for helping me, Capulet. I think I prefer it unrhymed, but your corrections have shown me a few things. It's the little words that matter so much, right? I think I know why brunette might be important, but perhaps I'd have to put up the rest of the song to show it. Thanks very much for helping me

-Kitten

__________________
Cadmus: Poor child, like a white swan warding its weak old father, why do you clasp those white arms about my neck?
Euripides; 'The Bacchae'

Capulet

no worries, glad I could help. When you're done you can post the original and your translation side, and I'd have a boo if you like. I don't mind at all.

Good luck!

__________________
It's not opression when you are protecting the voice of the majority.

-Shawn

Kitten Courna

Thanks Capulet, I may just well do so. Your critique has helped me see that it could be much better if I had some more good advice on it.

In any case, I suggest if you haven't heard it that you listen to the song. It is "La Complaint de la butte", personally, I like it sung by Patrick Bruel.

Thanks again,

-Kitten

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Cadmus: Poor child, like a white swan warding its weak old father, why do you clasp those white arms about my neck?
Euripides; 'The Bacchae'

Lucky19

Can you download the song for free ? heeheehee

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