Thread: Clothing terms

So I've been trying to describe what this certain character in my story wears, and it's really difficult because I know nothing about women's clothing, especially specialty clothing like what I see in my mind. Let me describe the character, then I'll give you some excerpts that I've written so you can get the idea.

The character is a supernatural spirit, basically a demi-god. Her role is that of a seductress. Some of her symbols are the color green and copper, so she always wears green, and sometimes she wears a copper coin tied to her forehead. Here are some of the excerpts.

1. "When she came to a stop, Wonen could see that she had resumed her former appearance. Now that she was solid, he could better make out her features. Her hair was long and black as the night that surrounded them. It curled into tousled locks that reached all the way to her ankles. Her eyes were an icy blue with black rings around the irises. He couldn’t be sure, but they were so bright that they seemed to emit their own light. Her skin was pale and firm. She wore a slip of green silk that concealed, but at the same time hugged her curves closely. Wonen’s eyes lingered on the curve of her neck and on the deep recesses above her collarbones, and his excitement grew."

For this one, I don't really know if "Slip" is the right word. It seemed like the most descriptive thing I could think of. Basically what I have in mind is something that hugs the body very close, something lightweight. The first material that came to mind was silk, but I think what I have pictured in my mind would be much more lightweight than that.

2. "He shivered and whispered her name, “Icara…” Her image danced in his mind. Her slight frame flickered like a candle’s flame, and her skin glistened with sweat. She was barefoot, and with each step and turn of her dance, her toes traced arcane symbols in the dust on the ground. He sighed and indulged in the enticing vision, closing his eyes to shut out distraction. She wore a sheer green fabric which thinly concealed her body underneath. On her forehead was a copper disk just a little larger than his thumbnail. A green ribbon fastened the disk to her head as well as held her midnight hair back away from her neck and shoulders."

This is close to the same thing as the excerpt #1 above, but a little bit different. It should be like a dancers costume.

3. "She did not look at him; she only stared at the moon as intently as he had. She wore a pale green dress, more modest than any he had seen her wear before. While her shoulders were bare, the dress was long and reached down to her feet. On her forehead was the same copper disk she had worn in his vision earlier that day. He saw now that on the disk was engraved a seven pointed star. There was nothing provocative in her posture. Instead she seemed at peace. Her ankles were crossed, and her hair was tied with a green ribbon in a ponytail. In her hands she held a flower which Wonen had never seen before."

I think this one is just fine, but if you have any suggestions for this one, I'd still welcome them.

4. "Out of this incredible display, Iama began to see the silhouette of a woman emerge dry from the water. Her black hair fell about her in tresses and reached all the way to her feet, which were suspended inches above the water. She was dressed in a beautiful green dress, with gold sequins and emerald gemstones attached."

This one I think is probably the one I'm struggling with the most. At this point in the story, Iama has entered the spirit world and has essentially come to meet her at her seat of power. I want it to be very dramatic and convey not only her sensuality but her power. What I have in my mind is basically a more elaborate version of what she is wearing in excerpt #1. I had the idea of the material billowing behind her like a cape, but not a cape. If you've seen Bram Stoker's Dracula with Gary Oldman, and you remember when Mina walked out into the storm wearing that red nightgown with the material flowing behind her that's what I have in mind. In fact I think that is the material that I have in mind for all the excerpts except for #3.

So, if anyone could help me with these descriptions to fit closer to what I have in mind (if what I have in mind makes any sense at all), it would be very much appreciated.

Originally Posted by themooresho

"When she came to a stop, Wonen could see that she had resumed her former appearance. Now that she was solid, he could better make out her features. Her hair was long and black as the night that surrounded them. It curled into tousled locks that reached all the way to her ankles. Her eyes were an icy blue with black rings around the irises. He couldn’t be sure, but they were so bright that they seemed to emit their own light. Her skin was pale and firm. She wore a slip of green silk that concealed, but at the same time hugged her curves closely. Wonen’s eyes lingered on the curve of her neck and on the deep recesses above her collarbones, and his excitement grew."

For this one, I don't really know if "Slip" is the right word. It seemed like the most descriptive thing I could think of. Basically what I have in mind is something that hugs the body very close, something lightweight. The first material that came to mind was silk, but I think what I have pictured in my mind would be much more lightweight than that.

When you say she wore a slip of green silk, I immidiately think of a "slip" or "undergarment" that a woman wears under her dress or skirt to conceal the sheerness of her outfit. Maybe you could go with something like, she wore a thin layer of green silk. Or, she wore a weightless green silk that still concealed, but at the same time hugged her curves closely.

As far as lightweight materials go. I think your best choices are silk, satin, or chiffon.

Originally Posted by themooresho

"He shivered and whispered her name, “Icara…” Her image danced in his mind. Her slight frame flickered like a candle’s flame, and her skin glistened with sweat. She was barefoot, and with each step and turn of her dance, her toes traced arcane symbols in the dust on the ground. He sighed and indulged in the enticing vision, closing his eyes to shut out distraction. She wore a sheer green fabric which thinly concealed her body underneath. On her forehead was a copper disk just a little larger than his thumbnail. A green ribbon fastened the disk to her head as well as held her midnight hair back away from her neck and shoulders."

This is close to the same thing as the excerpt #1 above, but a little bit different. It should be like a dancers costume.

I liked your description very much the way you have it. You described it as sheer, so I picture her in a light fabric like lace.

Originally Posted by themooresho

"She did not look at him; she only stared at the moon as intently as he had. She wore a pale green dress, more modest than any he had seen her wear before. While her shoulders were bare, the dress was long and reached down to her feet. On her forehead was the same copper disk she had worn in his vision earlier that day. He saw now that on the disk was engraved a seven pointed star. There was nothing provocative in her posture. Instead she seemed at peace. Her ankles were crossed, and her hair was tied with a green ribbon in a ponytail. In her hands she held a flower which Wonen had never seen before."

I think this one is just fine, but if you have any suggestions for this one, I'd still welcome them.

I agree. I very much like this one. I like your writing style. I like your descriptions!

Originally Posted by themooresho

"Out of this incredible display, Iama began to see the silhouette of a woman emerge dry from the water. Her black hair fell about her in tresses and reached all the way to her feet, which were suspended inches above the water. She was dressed in a beautiful green dress, with gold sequins and emerald gemstones attached."

Was it a knee-high length dress, or did it skim the water as she walked? Was it a V-Neck, sweetheart neckline, or a strapless dress? What shade of green was it? Did it match the color of her eyes? I don't know. You could give so many more descriptions on this, or leave it the way it is. I like how you have it.

I'm not sure if I was any help at all, but I tried. I must say, I am intrigued by what I've read so far. I liked your writing. ;0)

Thanks for the compliment. This is sort of one of those characters that I never intended on even putting in the story, but so far has completely taken the whole story over.

If you want to read what I have so far, I've posted the first five chapters and most of chapter six. The link is http://www.writingforums.com/fantasy...-part-one.html. It's pretty long actually, which is probably why I haven't gotten any critiques, but I'd love your opinion on the story as a whole.

I will definitely get some time to read it. Thanks for letting me know it's there. I'll let you know what I think of it! :0)