Thread: Religion

I'm not religious at all and in the novel I'm working on there is a Funeral that will be taking place. I have absolutely no idea how different religions go about funerals. I've no idea what preachers/pastors/fathers say during the ceremony or what kind of special treatment certain people receive (i.e. veterens, political figures, etc.) Ill take any infortmation given on any religion. I'd like a variety. If you could respond with a funeral scenario from start to finish that would be ideal. Or if you have a website that you could refer me to. Thanks!

P.s. Please make sure you're positive on the information given. Theres nothing worse than when a writer looks like they have no idea what they're talking about.

Tsk. (It's ok for me to say that, right? I suppose I will find out!)

Moving right along: I googled the phrase "protestant funeral service" and received 910,000 results in less than 1 second. The phrase "catholic funeral service" took about the same amount of time, 0.29 seconds.

That's all fine and dandy, but as I posted I am not religious, therefore I don't know scriptures or versus. That's what I'm asking, what things are said and done in each religion.

Good luck, then!

I think you mean "scripture or verse".

My own experience is with Quaker (The Religious Society of Friends) funerals, though English ones may differ from American. Friends do not have a religious leader, such as a priest. Some one starts and finishes the Meeting but it consists otherwise of silent meditation, if, in the course of this, some one has something they feel is worth sharing with the Meeting they stand up and "testify". Thus, for example, someone at my father's funeral told the story of my Father looking round the garden whilst my Mother was shown over the house they were considering retiring to. When she came out he said "Well, I think this will do don't you" without even entering the house, the garden was by far the most important thing to him, the house merely shelter.
Sorry I can not help you with details of ritual or quote chapter and verse, there is none of that at Friend's Meeting.

Is the funeral pertinent to your story? By that I mean, is there something which happens during the funeral which makes it impossible for you to skip over that particular scene? If not, I would suggest showing them following behind the hearse on the way to the funeral, and then start a new chapter of another plot-line (I'm assuming, and I may be wrong, that you have more than one plot-line going on) and concentrate on it. When you finish that, you can come back to the funeral with them exiting the chapel and going to the afters. This is usually a meal in the town-hall or some other establishment which can serve food.

UnWritten - The most complete service you will find on the Internet is is the Book of Common Prayer of the Anglican confession. That's at bcponline.org. That service was based originally on the Roman Catholic service for the dead. In simplified form it is the basis of most protestant funeral services.

If youl like I can go through the BCP and put together a practical service. As you are not familiar with religious services, you would have some difficulty picking out what you really need.

I need to know the religious denomination of the deceased, whether he was Catholic, Anglican, mainstream protestant such as Baptist or Methodist, or Pentecostal. The basics of the BCP are adaptable.

All this assumes the deceased was Christian. If he was Jewish, Hindu, or Taoist that will require other sources, but they too are available.

garza, I'm really just looking for something common. So possibly something along the lines of Baptist or Methodist. If you could help me out I would appreciate it.

Sam W, the funeral is kind of a big moment in my book. Though I haven't quite decided if I want what I'm writing to be the end or beginning of my book (long story, don't ask lol). I have the events that will take place during the funeral written down and planned out. But I need fluff, that's where the scriptures come in.

Thanks guys!

Not a huge fan of fluff. It's one of those things I loathe when reading a book. It's just a nice way of saying "filler" and I don't do filler.

All books have some kind of fluff/filler. It's just to what degree. I hate books that are all filled with nonsense. I read a book called Murder Takes the Cake about a year ago...I couldn't understand where the cake came into any of the storyline...the author used her main characters baking ability as a complete cop-out for not having any good material. If you took all the pastry talk out of the book it would have been about...ten pages..haha!

I'm not religious either, but I have been to plenty of funerals. The service can vary from person to person, since organizing a funeral tends to fall in the hands of the deceased's friends and family. But what I've seen in most religous funerals is:

Priest/religous leader type person says some stuff about the deceased person. Often this stuff is vauge because the religious leader didn't know that person very well, if they knew them at all. It will usually just be very generic positive stuff; the kind of polite niceities you use to describe someone you just met. They also talk about how God has a plan, and how with the good stuff must come the bad - God is great - they're going to a better place - ect.

Then some hyms, or prayers will be sang/spoken. Everyone reads from a book infront of them. A bit like a normal church service. But more depressing. The lord's prayer seems to be a common one amoung Christians. Most of the devout ones seem to know it from memory.

The religious leader may read a ulogy written by someone close to the deceased, like a sibling or spouse. Or that person may go up in front of the guests and speak the ulogy themselves. Often this retells a moment in the deceased's life. It's usually the most personal thing that gets said in the ceremony.

There may be another hym or a prayer or two. Then the body is burned/buried. For a cremation, the body is kept in a flame retardant box built for cremation. Sometimes a curtain is drawn so that the guests don't have to watch. Sometimes you can hear the flames envoloping the body as it burns. Sometimes you can even smell it.

I've seen less burials than I have cremations, so I won't go into those. They seem to be more previalant in fiction anyway, so you probably already know basically how that works.


The thing that many works of fiction leave out in a funeral ceremony is that they are boring, regardless of how close you were to the person. But it's a sad kind of boring. The ceremony, as I've said, will mainly consist of people who didn't know your dead loved one trying to talk as if they did know them. Most of that time, you feel bored, in a frustrating kind of way. Since the ceremony usually takes place a few weeks after the person you knew has died, you've already done a lot of mourning and talking about that person already. If you knew the person well, your pain will continue for months and months, possibly forever. So imagine, a sterotypically boring church service, with the added kicker that you're about to watch someone you care about be incinerated/put in the ground for eternity.

Through most of that, if you're like me, you won't spend it listening to anything any religious leader has to say and you'll just be lost in your own thoughts about the situation and your lost loved one. Once the cermony is over the friends and the family will either go to a wake, or just hang around on the grounds for a while consoling each other. The wake is the real closure, but even then berevement takes time to pass, and may never.

For more information, try going to your local registery office. They have pampflets on what to do when someone dies, which gives guides on how to organize funerals, as well as information on the legal stuff. Picking up one of those may help.

I would say that in my own experience (unfortunately quite varied with funerals) services within the Christian religion tend to vary greatly depending on the the person who died. I would try to gear the funeral around the character and go from there. Were they well liked? Write about the number of people there and the good things they had to say about the person to each other before and after the service? Were they unkind? Write about how lonely and sparse the attendees were. Were they famous? Write about how the press turned out. Were they controlling? You could mentioned how they had the details planned before they ever died. There is a lot you could write about the funeral that could skip religous parts that could be awkward for you and instead initiate more character development and plot development.
Generally, for older people, the services are dryer and more formal/traditional. Scripture will be read by the priest/pastor, there might be some funeral hymms played or sung, and usually someone like a family member or close friend will read a eulogy.
For younger people who have passed, I've found that services tend to be more active on the side of the attending. While it is still common for the priest/pastor to talk, I've seen thing included in the service such as an 'open-mike" time where people can come up and share a positive memory of the deceased, a slide show of pictures, and even playing favorite songs of the lost young one. At one funeral, the alter was decorated with the beloved's most treasured belongings and instead of their body displayed in a coffin, the belongings surrounded a blown-up school picture of them.
As far as a generalized order of procession, people arrive and sit, usually the family is in a back room secluded. If a burial, the coffin is brought in by pall-bearers (usually young men). Then the family is seated and the service ensues. The coffin is then taken away by the pall-bearers and the family follows. The family usually rides behind the hearse to the cememtery and anyone from the funeral who wants to would follow the car of the family. There is a very short service given at the grave and last words are said. Sometimes people gathered will throw flowers in and then everyone leaves to go to some sort of arranged meal or refreshments where they can remember the loved one and condole the family. Don't forget before a funeral there is often a wake or viewing where the family stands in a line leading to the coffin and people come to the funeral home to offer their condolences. This usually happens in the day or two before the funeral. It is exhausting for the family as it often last several hours.
Another thing to note is it is common, at least in Christian funerals, for those attending to wear black or grey. The family is almost always in all black and if a wife was widowed, she might even wear a small veil.
Some scriptures you might use for a Christian funeral:
Bible Verses for Funerals | Funeral Scripture Verses | Elegant Memorials Funeral Program Templates

As for the music... churches often have pipe organs. Some people might have a string instrument hired to play a funeral like a cello or violinist. Piano music is also very common.

Hope that helps.

Thanks BinaryMike and AmandaC. You guys definitely gave a lot of information there lol. After reading what everyone has to say I'm starting to think of possibly leaving a lot of scripture out. I'll leave a couple in there, just to give it that funeral kind of feel. But as for that "open mike" idea Amanda, I think that's where I'll take the funeral itself. One of the few funerals I've been to was for my Uncle Gene. That's kind of how the funeral went. I think it was a Catholic funeral, so there was a lot of the priest talking and I had absolutely no idea what was going on. But after that, anyone was allowed to go up and talk. And it wasn't all sad, boring stuff, everything anyone said was about how hilarious he was. So, I like that idea. The funeral I'm working on is actually going to be a funeral for a number of people that passed away in a tragedy. All family that died together during a vacation.

Thanks a lot

I don't think the Catholic Church will bury you if you blow your head off. I could wrong on that. In general the Catholic Church doesn't look too kindly on suicides.

Originally Posted by UnWritten

garza, I'm really just looking for something common. So possibly something along the lines of Baptist or Methodist. If you could help me out I would appreciate it.

Sam W, the funeral is kind of a big moment in my book. Though I haven't quite decided if I want what I'm writing to be the end or beginning of my book (long story, don't ask lol). I have the events that will take place during the funeral written down and planned out. But I need fluff, that's where the scriptures come in.

Thanks guys!

I think you have received some helpful comments in this thread. Nonetheless, in my opinion you should visit a funeral from the denomination you wish to play out in your story.

Not only are their denominational differences but their are ethnic and national differences too. My Catholic heritage come from my German-American side. I'm half black and was raised around Black-Americans. I've been to Black-American Protestant funerals. They are different from Catholic or at the funerals I've attended for my Catholic German-American grandparents. I've seen Italian and Brazilian Catholic funeral processions on youtube and I can tell you them Latinized people are a lot more expressive than German-Americans.

Black-American Protestant funerals can be a bit expressive too, especially their pastors, but some of the women take the opportunity try and win an Oscar. And there's always at least one person - man or woman - that has to give up from their seat, take hold of the mic, tell people how they need to get some Jesus in their lives. Never fails. If it's a dude and the cat is dressed to the 9's be sure he's going to use his stage time well. Almost everyone will applaud or say "Amen" (Black-American Protestants are into "call-and-response" - and to my ever living torture their recent converts to Catholicism have brought this into Mass ). Ain't nothin better in Black-America than a well dressed cat preaching Jesus. That's right up their with pimps and drug dealers. In fact Chicago pimps like Magic Don Juan are Protestant preachers too.

From my experience, the "open mic" thing is a non-denominational Protestant thing. I'm not sure if mainstream Protestant Churches do that. But that does not go down in Catholic Masses for funerals. You have about two chosen lay persons that do part of the reading. Maybe one or two other lay persons are allowed to briefly make a special statement (my aunt did and my grandparents funeral, she read a poem she had composed). Also, in Catholic liturgical celebration of the Mass, there are colors the Priests wears (his vestments) for specific occasions. I think black is for funerals but I'm not sure. And I don't know if Protestants do this thing. I'm pretty sure high church Anglicans do though.

But you're going with Baptists or Methodists (two strongly associated with Black-American Christian history and political power) just go to one of their funerals.

These non-denominational Protestant funerals are often having the wake and funeral all in the same day. I recently went to my good childhood friend's funeral and the wake was held 1 hour before the funeral service.

But I'm telling you... don't sleep on the minute or big ethnic differences. I visited a parish of a young seminarian friend of mine once he became Priest and pastor of this almost exclusively Mexican parish on the South side of Milwaukee. Aside from the Mass said in Spanish I can tell you the most striking thing was after the Mass ended. All the Latinas lined up to give their good-byes to my young Priest friend and kiss him on the cheek. Mexican Latinas love young Priests the way American women love their gay male friends.

The best funeral story I ever heard had to do with Gresilda Blanco better known as the "Godmother." When her favorite son was assassinated, she sent a letter from a Californian prison to the Priest in Colombia presiding over the funeral service of her son. The Priest read the letter during Mass and after he finished the whole church rose in applause. She basically addressed the killers in her letter telling them that the earth shall shake under their feet. And that it did.

From a Baptist point of view, the ceremony usually consists of a preacher talking a bit about the life of the deceased so that loved ones can share in the memories. There is a traditional hymn or two (Amazing Grace, etc.) sung by a family or church member, or played on an organ (if the service is in a church, not a funeral home) with the attendees invited to sing along using lyrics from the hymnal (songbook). The preacher then talks about the afterlife to get attendees thinking about their own future, and preaches a message of Christian salvation. The salvation-related messages from the book of Romans (New Testament) are often quoted. There may be an anonymous alter call, where the preacher invites anyone interested in discussing such issues to a private discussion after the service. As they file out, attendees go past the casket to pay last respects. The preacher wears a suit, and the service is less formal or structured than a Catholic funeral.

Usually the service is followed by a food event at the preachers church, with lots of family bonding and food made by the church ladies.

Hope that helps.