Thread: Another Question for the Ladies (OX, That Means Stay Out).

I have a bit of a relationship brewing in my latest WiP between a soldier and a woman he rescued. During sex, the woman notices that there are several scars along the man's chest. For the most part, his chest-hair covers them up, but we all know how chicks dig scars.

During part of the scene, this piece of dialogue, where the woman asks the soldier if he'd consider having his chest-hair waxed or removed, kept repeating in my head. I have no idea why. Maybe she wanted to get up close and personal with the scars.

Anyway, the question I need an answer to is multi-layered. First, what's the general consensus among the women here about chest-hair? Like or loathe? Second, would you ever ask a guy to wax or laser-remove it? If yes, why -- and do you think it would be a reasonable request?

I didn't think it was a big deal until that question sounded off in my head, and now I can't shake the feeling that I'm losing authenticity.

Okay, I know I am not a woman, but I have got a lot of scars. My experience was that the women in my life did not notice them, despite the fact that they are huge and cover large areas of my body. They must have been distracted by something else.

Okay, one in, all in. If Olly can ignore the first part of the title, I can ignore the second part.

Sam, if you’re hearing voices you don’t need a forum, you need a psychiatrist. Must I insert a smiley?

A ladies-only question and Olly and Ox beat me to it!

I'm not sure where the common knowledge that 'chicks dig scars' comes from.

For me something like that would engender a stab of compassion (especially if I was intimate with the guy) and I would want to know where the hurts came from. Not because it's fascinating in some macabre way but because anything that made a mark on him like that was a significant part of his history. There's a sense of indignation at whatever in his past had the arrogance to hurt someone I love (or in this case am coming to love or whatever). Did he win the battle that caused the scars or did he lose? What's the story? What might be lurking in his head because of it?

I'd never ever ever in a million years ask a guy to wax his chest hair, scars or no scars. Not unless he was training to be a bodybuilder, swimmer, or bicycle racer and asked for my opinion. But I think it would be rude ('You aren't good enough the way you are') and I happen to like furry chested men.

Well I was being very polite and staying away until my curiosity got the better of me and I looked and what do I see but two other old men already here.

If she's some sort of control freak, this could be used as a part of her character. Otherwise it dosen't sound like anything I'd expect to hear from a woman, or at least not the sort of women I know who hang out at Eva's or the Riverside Bar, and I'd have some doubts about whether I even wanted to continue the relationship if one of them asked me this sort of thing.

Hmm. I understand the 'chicks digging scars' thing. Maybe it's a morbid fascination, or an emotional thing as Foxee said.
Though it could be something more primal. You know - Big strong man - stuff.

Anyway, I'm not a big fan of chest hair, but I just don't go for hairy dudes. I don't know that I would ever ask a guy to shave or wax it. That's just a bit too effeminate for my liking, makes him seem like a whipping boy.

BUT, if I were to suggest it, it would simply be a "Have you ever thought about..." question. And you could work in him maybe wanting to hide the scars and her saying she likes 'em. That'd work - but you are making him a bit less he-man in doing that. In mine eyes.

I don't think it's any more rude to ask a guy to shave/wax his chest than it is to ask a woman to shave her legs or ask anyone to shave pubic hair. That said, I still woudn't ask it (but my husband doesn't ask me to shave anything either). Scars, meh, I feel the same way as Foxee about that. It's more an issue of history, though I also get a moment of pride in that person knowing he lived through something and that I am thus associated with a person who lived through something extraordinary.

Shark attacks, for instance, could leave "Dude!" kinda scars, and I can see why someone might shave around said scars to show them off. Bullet and knife wounds share that Awesomillitude.

Asking someone to shave/wax their chest seems like kind of a dick thing to do, but maybe in some kinky talk...? who knows, I'd have to see the scene.

I don't have huge issues with chest hair, but smooth with visible skin is the preference. If I like the rest of him then a hairy chest isn't a dealbreaker. I would not ask someone to shave their chest...this is reminding me of a particularly hairy ex-boyfriend who had weird shoulder hair and was very insecure about it and used to ask me to try and rip off the hair with duct tape because he was convinced that if he used duct tape, rather than a razor, it would never grow back. because duct tape's powerful like that.

it didn't work.

Originally Posted by Olly Buckle

Okay, I know I am not a woman, but I have got a lot of scars. My experience was that the women in my life did not notice them, despite the fact that they are huge and cover large areas of my body. They must have been distracted by something else.

unintended innuedo...or was it?

When you've been here a while you may come to realise nothing Olly says is unintended.

Yeah, I'm not a big fan of chest hair, but I would never ask a guy to get rid of it for me - it just seems rude and obnoxious. I had a girlfriend once ask me to get rid of the hair on another (ahem) part of my body, and I couldn't believe she'd ask me something like that; to me that sort of thing is personal choice only. I guess if you had been together a longish time, you might be able to suggest it as a kind of 'let's try it, see if you/I like it' kind of thing. But not to come out with during sex.

Definitely not shaving. It gets all prickly when it starts to grow back. Waxing? That would be torture.

I think chest hair is sexy. Women, usually, don't have chest hair, so to me it's a masculine trait.

I agree with previous comments by the ladies about scars. A small to moderate amount of chest hair is fine - good even (sign of maturity & masculinity). I don't think I'd ask a guy to remove body hair (not counting facial) unless it was MAJOR - like he looks like he's still wearing a shirt even when he's shirtless - bad. Then the method would be up to him and I'd be as gentle as possible about broaching the subject. I would never ask a guy to remove hair so I could "get up close and personal" with scars.

I like a small amount of chest hair. Not akin to a bear though. My husband has a lot of scars because of a major car accident that almost killed him. The scars are not sexy. I think of them and realize that he almost died. Cheating death doesn't equal attractive to me. As a mother I want a man who will stay with me and stand by me. Someone who takes unneeded risks is not at all attractive.

Plus I would worry that waxing scars would hurt, the tissue being thinner. I know that waxing my stretch marks hurt like a mofo, and bled. I would not do it again.

Now I might ask a guy to wax his back hair. That just creeps me out.