Writing a Death

**Indigo** · 05-29-2009 01:46 PM

I'm coming up to the end of the first act of the play I've been working on. It's now time for me to write the death of one of my major characters.

It's about a group of young people who decide to rob a bank. The police arrive and everything goes wrong - a firefight breaks out and my characters end up on the run, holed up with a hostage. I've got a kind of live action Reservoir Dogs thing going on in terms of staging - it all subsequently takes place in one room in real time.

My character Sarah was hit in the neck during the shootout. For the last 20 minutes they've been desperately trying to put pressure on her wound, trying to keep her talking, keep her awake, but she's still loosing blood. They can't keep her going any longer and she dies.

I know the overwhelming emotion of the others afterwards is anger and frustration at the police and at their inability to do anything to save her.

But I don't know how to write the bit where she actually dies. I don't want it to be a "death scene". I've worked really hard at making this play ugly and realistic. That's kind of what the whole thing is supposed to be about - things don't happen in real life the way they happen in films.

Does anyone have any ideas or any suggestions of scenes in plays, books or films I should take a look at for inspiration? Something different - not your usual "movie" death?

**Shawn** · 05-29-2009 02:36 PM

Try killing her while the other characters rush to go get some item or another and have their reactions as they walk in to see her corpse?

I know that a lot of times, deaths will "take place" back stage, and the play-matter only deals with the aftermath... but you're the playwright, yes?

**Indigo** · 05-29-2009 03:11 PM

That I really like- that's just the kind of thing I'm looking for.

Thank you!

I'll have to think about that one...

Anyone got any other ideas?

**Sam W** · 05-29-2009 04:49 PM

Depending on where the bullet hits the neck, death is usually a lot faster than twenty minutes. If it hits either side (and depending on the calibre, of course) it usually severs the jugular vein or carotid artery. If it does, the blood-loss is often unstoppable. Additionally, arterial blood-loss is quicker than veinous.

If it goes through the centre, the trajectory will play an important part. If it's upwards (and again depending on calibre) it will explode out the back of the person's head, taking a chunk of their brain with it. Death is usually instantaneous in that instance.

Getting shot in the neck is a very severe wound, and not a particularly pleasant way to die. It's usually quick, though. So don't go mad with the Hollywood scenes of "I love you" and "everything is going to be all right". Nope, it ain't. People don't speak coherently after being shot and don't think rationally enough to recount how many ways they love their wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend.

Besides, it would be safe to say getting shot in the neck would preclude any kind of speaking.

**Indigo** · 05-30-2009 04:43 AM

Hmm... I suppose you're right. She really does need to last this long though.

I chose the neck because I thought it was really shocking - Steve Buscemi in Fargo comes to mind. But you're right - it might not be realistic.

No matter, the location where she gets shot isn't really important and I can always change it.

Thank you. x

**Sam W** · 05-30-2009 07:17 AM

If you're looking for a particularly gruesome way to die which will also last for twenty minutes (and longer in some cases), then getting shot in the stomach is what you need. If the bullet penetrates the abdomen, through to the stomach, it's extremely painful. The hydrochloric acid within the person's stomach will intermix with the blood, causing fatal toxaemia and extreme blood-loss.

**Indigo** · 05-30-2009 01:43 PM

That is something I had considered. You don't think that's done too often then? If it's not overly common that might be the right way to go.

The most important thing is it has to be ugly, realistic, and something you could act well on stage, so I think that's the kind of thing that might work.

Thanks!

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