Dreamflight

In months when fall is almost gone
Wander through cool forest vales
Hear wind whisper sweet melodies
And roam forgotten woodland trails.

A touch of frost is in the air
Leaving haunted in our hearts
A faint longing for something more
The thrill that winter sky imparts.

The silence broken by no sound
Look up and see the pale grey sky
That promises a winter snow
As trees grow cold and autumn dies.

Baron

This is a lighthearted, easy to read, snaphot. I quite enjoyed it although the end rhyme in the last line comes over to me as being a little forced.

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Dreamflight

Originally the last line was "As trees rustle their lullaby", but I got this comment on that:
"The last line 'As trees rustle their lullaby.' The lullaby doesn't quite fit with the tone of the piece. The rest of the poem is more invigorating and lullaby just seem more down than the rest of it." and I agreed so I changed it...Do you think I should look for a third option?

Baron

Personally I would prefer the lullabye option because it seems to come more naturally out of the poem. The introduction of silence brings peace to the last stanza.

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