Edgewise

Hope…don’t make me laugh!


Skeptical critics rejecting this epic projection,
Jealous of the skill it takes to compose unique inventions,
The worst intentions fumble to square away the loose ends,
Tumbling down the alley way in line with the twists and bends,
Squandering your existence on holidays and weekends,
To engage in gluttonous rampages towards the deep end,
Tweaking and reeking of elixirs and herbal vitamins,
Hyphenating the bare nature of your brethren,
Now settle in, a hundred deep, and take the leap of faith,
Because we all know there’s only one way out of this cave,
To escape from the rape which will take place unexpected,
Unless you successfully navigate the gauntlet undetected.

Mechanical antics reacting frantically in their actions,
Automatic reaction against perceived threats to their being,
And if seeing is believing, than I guess you’re S.O.L.,
Because the veil of perception is just an aspect of the living hell,
And terror sells like Church bells and emptying pockets,
Katyusha rockets providing graphic effects to your mosh pits,
Graffiti writ in blood and guts on every single fence,
Which attempted to draw a border between a man and his brother,
The smoke hovers diligent over the burning embers,
Of a world set ablaze by ideological party members,
Who subscribe to a philosophy without thinking it through fully,
Sullying mans dignity through gullible action…

But a fraction of the traction lacked by the impotent,
Would be enough to harvest the bargain and implement the script,
But who’s writing it with enough passion to last throughout the eons?


I’ll tell you who…




You, me,




And the rest of the peons.



So who’s with me?

__________________
What would your good be doing if there were no evil, and what would the earth look like if shadows disappeared from it?
- Woland (Satan) in Bulgakov's "Master and Margarita"

MisterJack

Am going to come back to this after a few more reads, edgewise.
For now, 'Mosh Pits' isn't used enough in poetry

I like so far......



Jack

__________________
If it claims to be God, eat it.

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Baron

This is potent. Another that I'd like to hear the sound file on.

__________________

Edgewise

Thanks guys.

Take the Leap

__________________
What would your good be doing if there were no evil, and what would the earth look like if shadows disappeared from it?
- Woland (Satan) in Bulgakov's "Master and Margarita"

winkash

I see a very convincing leader and an effective speech that really pleas epeople like me.
Of course there are many things I am unable to get, such as S.O.L. Does it have anything to do with sun? I guess that by And if seeing is believing you refer to the proverb: “Out of sight, out of mind”. But the acronym leaves me blank. Hence the next line is more like a riddle to me.
The first verse, on the whole, I find it rather personal. Are you talking to someone in particular? It sounds like parents talking to their children.
The second one I find it more universally and historically descriptive and, again, I don’t understand some lines here and there, but it brings some precise images and moments to my psyche.

Lines I really love:

Hyphenating the bare nature of your brethren,
Now settle in, a hundred deep, and take the leap of faith,
It sounds as if you were describing a psychological condition… depression, perhaps?

Mechanical antics reacting frantically in their actions,
Automatic reaction against perceived threats to their being,
Justified self-defense?

The smoke hovers diligent over the burning embers,
Of a world set ablaze by ideological party members,
Who subscribe to a philosophy without thinking it through fully,
Sullying man's dignity through gullible action…

This is simply perfect and real. I have some similar thoughts, well, mine are not so poetic.

Edgewise, I can’t tell you anything about construction, but I feel I wouldn’t change a word of this piece. I can relate it to personal experience and I find it passion-instilling. This is the opinion of a humble reader and occasional poetry writer.

__________________
"All, all is theft, all is unceasing and rigorous competition in nature; the desire to make off with the substance of others is the foremost - the most legitimate - passion nature has bred into us and, without doubt, the most agreeable one."
Marquis de Sade

Edgewise

__________________
What would your good be doing if there were no evil, and what would the earth look like if shadows disappeared from it?
- Woland (Satan) in Bulgakov's "Master and Margarita"

winkash

Or instinctive?

I think of war mamushkas.

It's a pleasure.

__________________
"All, all is theft, all is unceasing and rigorous competition in nature; the desire to make off with the substance of others is the foremost - the most legitimate - passion nature has bred into us and, without doubt, the most agreeable one."
Marquis de Sade