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Poetry Poems, Haiku & Tanka etc.

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Old 05-16-2008, 10:36 PM   #1
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Posts: 151
peterphreak is on a distinguished road
For absolute proof of what's absolution (712)

Revision 21:01 PST in the month of May

Because I had no guts for Life
cancer stomached a drag
The vessels in wait bled our trail
and rehearsed an old pang -

When rolled fags still refold my weed
and I coughed aching for release
My lungs and lunge was surly
to hour's cupidity -

We were thrush through golden arches
tunneling darkened rails
rushing towards the guiding gloam -
We brushed by Breathless Biles -

Oh Mother - She entombs -
my respiring haze into veins
for countenance encounters this farce -
My Tumor, only Strain -

I pause before a pharmacy
to remedy lonesome brained
The neon lights are just lesions -
The sign sighed closed to Pain -

Since then drugs deride counterpanes -
Sin laughs medication -
Life's first smoke is comely ashen
gravity to weight poor omen.

====================

Original :

Because I had no guts for Life
cancer stomached a drag
The vessels in wait bled our trail
and rehearsed an old pang -

We rolled fags - Still refolds my weed -
and I coughed aching for release
My lungs and my lunch, to be sure
of our cupidity -

We were thrush through golden arches
in tunnels on the rail
We rushed towards the guiding gloam
We brushed by Breathless Burn -

Oh Mother - She entombs -
my expiring haze into veins
for countenance encounters farce -
My Tumor, only Strain -

I pause before a pharmacy
to remedy lonesome brained
The neon signs are just lesions
The sign sighed closed to Pain -

Since then drugs wears like counterpanes -
Sin becomes self-medication -
Life's first smoke is comely ashen
gravity to weight poor omen.

Last edited by peterphreak : 05-17-2008 at 10:21 AM.
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Old 05-16-2008, 10:43 PM   #2
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Posts: 151
peterphreak is on a distinguished road
Hi Ms. Vodka,

Apologies. Couldn't find one accessible. But, this is as close as i can get to real. Thanks for making me work for my absolution.
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Old 05-16-2008, 11:17 PM   #3
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Location: portland
Gender: Female
Posts: 455
ms. vodka is on a distinguished road
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dammit.

i can't not be intrigued.

peterphreak... did you know that english is one of the only languages in which the double negative is a no no?

peterphreak, do i know you already?

i'm tired of knowing everyone already.

the poem isn't readily accessible... but i still enjoyed it.

and i hate over abstraction.

in other words - nicely done.
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Old 05-16-2008, 11:47 PM   #4
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peterphreak is on a distinguished road
Quote:
Originally Posted by ms. vodka View Post
dammit.

i can't not be intrigued.

peterphreak... did you know that english is one of the only languages in which the double negative is a no no?

[I never knew that. Thank you for your "no no's". Love your pair of dogs so paradoxical !]

peterphreak, do i know you already?

[Yes and no. Plz know my enjambments first ]

i'm tired of knowing everyone already.

[Me - too - two - thus the ewe ]

the poem isn't readily accessible... but i still enjoyed it.

[i'm heartened you enjoyed my head-lice ]

and i hate over abstraction.

[Me too shape-shifting thrice cuz there are no lines in Nature]

in other words - nicely done.

[Thanks. My sis said it was more accessible than the last. Proof enough .... (ellipsis) ]
[You're an absolute parallax above my tippler eyes. Thanks for the proof. Are you a pearl before my surly swindle? ]

Last edited by peterphreak : 05-17-2008 at 04:46 PM.
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