Edgewise

Threats bleed and recede from the mode of attack,
Before the visuals spill in silence and the scene fades to black,
Stacking foundations of destruction within the confines of the intellect,
The seat of knowledge,
Subverted,
Now the eyes watch with cataracts.

Take issue with the fiction,
Separate fact from ebb and flow,
The tides may wash the detritus,
But it always returns to water.

Vicious cyclical formation of the natural course,
Some sing hymns and praises,
In tritely aching chorus,
And build monuments in workshops
As testaments to comprehension
“Don’t condescend to nature.”
Thus spoke my apprehension.

I would rather crush a twig for the sound of the crunch,
Than to admire it for beauty, for it lacks any as such,
I would rather drive a car and pollute the atmosphere,
And to feel the wind blow on MY terms,
Rather than plummet off a cliff,
BUT,
Nature does fight back from time to time,
Despite the fact that a hurricane has an eye,
And when you whether the storm, think back to the weather,
Just because it exists doesn’t mean it will exist forever…

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How can you expect a man who's warm to understand a man who's cold?
- Solzhenitsyn "Ivan Denisovich"

Shawn

It was hard to find a really cohesive message, for me, at least. And, though the lines are good, it seems as if you gave into rhythm, but sacrificed some of the potency. For example, those last four lines... I can understand the couplet to make an unapologetic close to the poem, but I didn't know what to make of "despite the fact that a hurricane has an eye." But maybe it's just something I'm missing.

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Critique?
Applebee's
www.theoddvillepress.com

MisterJack

Have you sent this to Al Gore?

Good read, Edge. A little less potent than your usual, but some nice stark imagery and good flow throughout.

Jack

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If it claims to be God, eat it.

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Baron

I don't think that this in any way lacks potency. Your recent pieces have been more easily accessible and the ability to understand the subject adds potency. Good poem.

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PrisonerOfPrey

I enjoyed it immensly. I, too, feel glad to be able to understand it easier. Although, i'm not sure i'm too fond of how you spell it out in the last few stanzas, like it was a story read to children. Don't loose all of your mystery Edge!

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Now I lay me down to sleep/
With every passing thought I weep/
Lead me into nights dark bliss/
And let me wake in innocence. -Me

SadLuckDame

I really enjoyed the ending personally. Very nicely accomplished Edge.

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Well, it was a nice check, Kitty, and really I might have won, if it hadn't been for that nasty Knight, that came wriggling down among my pieces. Kitty, dear, let's pretend -- -" And here I wish I could tell you half the things Alice used to say, beginning with her favorite phrase "Let's pretend."
written by Lewis Carroll